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Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
September 9th, 2012, 07:19 PM
afwifey09's Avatar proud momma to Ava Kay
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I'm so sick of people telling me I'm spoiling Ava, but I'm starting to think Ava is ahead of the game or something and knows what she's doing! The only way I could get Ava to stay sleep before was by letting her fall asleep on me and then transferring her to her pack and play. Well, the past week that routine has gone downhill fast. As soon as her head touches the pnp, she's wide awake and its just a matter of time before she starts crying and the only way to settle her is to go back on my chest. Needless to say, I'm not getting any sleep. I can't fall asleep with her on me, I'm too scared I'll end up hurting her.

Anyone dealing with a sleep stubborn baby? Any suggestions on how I can get some sleep?! Is what I'm doing wrong?
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  #2  
September 9th, 2012, 07:40 PM
TKbunny's Avatar Elias's slave..err..Mommy
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I hear you. Elias only falls asleep being walked around or rocked hard in the glider. And you have to let him sleep for like 30 minutes before you even try to lay him in his crib or bassinet or he'll wake right up and cry. And the only way he'll sleep at night for more than 10 minutes is to swaddle him because of the startle reflex, but he HATES being swaddled now. He wants his arms out but I tried letting him sleep at night with his arms out and he wakes himself up in 5 minutes every time. So he HAS to be swaddled or he can't sleep. But the thing is, we have to wait until he's sleeping for a while on us before we can try putting him in the swaddle. And once he's in that, we have to walk around or rock him for a while more until he's really out or he'll cry soon as he's put down. If we get it right, he'll sleep about 5 hours at night, but the last hour or so he's very restless and making sounds and so then I can't sleep more than 2 or 3 hours because after he goes to sleep is the only time DH and I have to be together just us two, so we take an hour to just be. So by the time we sleep, he'll be up in about 3 hours. And during the day? Forget him being swaddled. Not happening. The only way he naps for 2-3 hours during the day is to let him sleep on his tummy. So I have to sit right next to him to watch him to make sure he's breathing well, so even though I want to sleep when he naps, I can't. So yeah... no sleep here either. It's hard. And he's not on any sleep schedule yet. He sleeps at different times during the day and at night we try but sometimes it take a lot longer to rock him to sleep. I just want him to sleep well.
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  #3  
September 9th, 2012, 07:47 PM
afwifey09's Avatar proud momma to Ava Kay
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Sounds exactly like what I'm dealing with. Ugh.
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  #4  
September 9th, 2012, 07:56 PM
magz88's Avatar First Time Mum
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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Mine has started to be like that too. During the day he will sleep in his bassinet but at night he wants to be touching me and won't sleep in the cosleeper alone.
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  #5  
September 9th, 2012, 08:10 PM
aubers68's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Summer has to fall asleep on the boob and once she's sleeping I cannot burp her, if I do it's a cry fest... so last feeding of the night I don't burp :/

She has to be sleeping (solid sleep) for maybe 10 minutes before we can lay her down. She does not like to lay flat so she sleeps in the rock n play every night. Naps are in the swing. I've tried a couple times putting her in the crib and she wakes right up when you lay her flat... what I don't get is, she slept in the PNP at my moms... UGH stubborn baby.
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  #6  
September 9th, 2012, 08:14 PM
afwifey09's Avatar proud momma to Ava Kay
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I've been too stubborn to let her sleep in any swings/toys so far as to not start down the road of a bad habit, but if something doesn't change soon, I'm going to have to cave. I can only go so many days without sleep.
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  #7  
September 9th, 2012, 08:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sick of people telling me I'm spoiling him too!
Tuckr will sleep in his bassinet during the day no problem, but at night he gets fussy and I nurse him Til he falls asleep and then we snuggle on the couch. He sleeps cuddled up in my arms or on my chest. I'm a light sleeper and I don't roll (we are still on the couch) so I really don't move. And now that I read that it sounds worse than it is. He is so comfy there and I love the feeling of him there. We have never even come close to having an issue. I don't move, he doesn't move, he would sleep in his bassinet if I made him I'm sure, but it usually starts out with him there then his first wake up he usually ends up snuggled up with me. I am getting plenty of sleep since when he sleeps with me he sleeps so much better. In his bassinet he is up every 2-3 hours. With me it's 5-6 hours! Same with naps during the day. On his own maybe an hour, with me it can be 2-4 hours!!!
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  #8  
September 9th, 2012, 09:04 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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I'm in the same boat. I have to let him fall asleep on my cheat for 20-30 minutes before I can transferto his cradle.And DH has no luck at all. He falls asleep on both of us fine, but getting him to stay asleep is quite a feat. I just can't bring myself to be a "let him cry it out" kind of parent. I might have to change my tune though.
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  #9  
September 9th, 2012, 09:10 PM
aubers68's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by junie22 View Post
I'm in the same boat. I have to let him fall asleep on my cheat for 20-30 minutes before I can transferto his cradle.And DH has no luck at all. He falls asleep on both of us fine, but getting him to stay asleep is quite a feat. I just can't bring myself to be a "let him cry it out" kind of parent. I might have to change my tune though.
I've tried the cry it out thing.... No go here. She cried so hard her face was just about blue. I mean she wailed! There was a moment I think she stopped breathing! Broke my heart I don't know how others do it
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  #10  
September 9th, 2012, 09:50 PM
TKbunny's Avatar Elias's slave..err..Mommy
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I can't listen to him cry that hard for that long. I did it for a week when he was having problems with my breast milk and gas, it was all I could do not to break...well really I did break down, every night. I won't do it on purpose. But this not sleeping is really getting hard. DH's mom comes over a lot to watch him while I nap but that's about all the sleep I get now. When can we stop swaddling them? I feel like that's when he'll sleep better, not needing to get him into that will cut my problems in half because if we don't do it just right, he'll wake up while we're swaddling him and we have to start all over. When that happens, it takes 2-3 more hours to get him down again.
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  #11  
September 9th, 2012, 11:10 PM
afwifey09's Avatar proud momma to Ava Kay
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I've read swaddling is fine until 3 months.

I'm a light sleeper too, but it only takes one mistake. Ava means too much to me to risk that. I'm glad it seems to be working for you guys though!

I also tried letting her cry it out in a fit of desperation today, yeah...I'm not that parent either. It broke my heart and didnt work.
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  #12  
September 10th, 2012, 01:07 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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CIO sucks. I'm a pretty strict, pretty traditional parent and even I can't use it. Haven't even tried it with Michaela because I tried it once with Daniel and ended up more upset than he was!!

Michaela needs to be held for around half an hour mostly to get her off to sleep, and can then be transferred to her Moses basket. Shaun sometimes just lets her sleep on him during the day for comfort. I don't let her generally, because I'm too busy - I have to juggle jobs with Daniel and expressing around her feeds and changes. I will either put her in the basket and rock it with my foot (talk about multi-tasking lol) or put her in her bouncer on vibrate and let her drop off then transfer her from there.

We find it helps to keep her awake after her lunchtime feed and again after her dinner time feed (early evening). It's easy with Michaela because she's nosey. All you have to do is have her on your knee and read her one of Daniel's story books, or lay her on her play gym and help her play with the rattles and soft animals, or sit/lay her where she can see the TV and let her watch a little CBeebies. We're going to rig up her travel system soon too which will give the fourth option of a walk or a sit in the garden. If she has a good wakey time both those times of day, she's a pretty good night sleeper, and will settle straight back off after her night feeds.

I'm also going to work a bath into her routine now her cord's fallen off, probably early evening time, as that always helped signal to Daniel that "proper" bed time was coming, as did a fresh change of onesie, and blackout curtains in the bedroom.
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  #13  
September 10th, 2012, 04:29 AM
berryblue031's Avatar Mathias' Super Mommy!
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I think it is way to early to start CIO I never let my son CIO until he was 1.5 and knew exactly what was going on.

One thing they do here in Denmark that really helped with my son was putting children for naps in their pram and leaving them outside ( I know it sounds crazy )

The weather in most of Canada and the US doesn't really work well for leaving them outside (to hot / cold) but I would try and put the baby in the pram walk them around outside and then wheel the whole pram back into the house.

Even if the baby is crying at the start of the walk they fall asleep quickly to the walking bumping and then you just leave them there - they quickly adjust to the inside of the pram as being a safe spot.

For those in doubt when I say pram I mean one of those bed on wheels strollers (the one we have here is actually 1m long my almost 3yr old still naps in his and they are mandatory for childcare here!), here is a picture of ours I know you can't get them as big in the states but you can get prams style strollers for newborns

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  #14  
September 10th, 2012, 05:05 AM
MosaicWife's Avatar Missa
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I don't agree with CIO. Waaaaaaaay too young. You're punishing them for wanting to be with you basically. This is normal. Babies want to be held, they want their mommies. I put Paxton in the Rock n play and swing for naps but most of the time he's swaddled and in bed with me at night. He sleeps like a log. A grunting, squirming log. I've done it the other way too. The best advice I can give is to hold them till they're in deep sleep, after their eyes stop moving, before putting them down. For me that's the dangerous part. Co-sleeping is less dangerous than me sitting up in the middle if the night nodding off and almost falling over waiting got eyes to stop moving. It can take a while. And for you Tina to lay the swaddle blanket in the crib or whatever and lay him in it and kinda loosely and quickly wrap him. I do that with Paxton for naps if I forgot to swaddle him beforehand. You said Elias hates it so sneak swaddle him as you lay him down.
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  #15  
September 10th, 2012, 05:19 AM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
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If you have any time to read books, I'd suggest reading The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly or the Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears. If you can read both, they will help you understand baby sleep and help give you some healthy sleep solutions so that you can find something you are comfortable with.

If you allow your baby to CIO at this age, they are too young. They go through phases of distress that kills brain cells. They pretty much stop crying and fall asleep after they hit a very unhealthy level of distress. I'm a big fan of responding to cries and using that as a way of establishing good communication with your kids. Your children are too young to be spoiled, to manipulate, or to get bad habits. If they are crying at this stage, it's because they need something. And being held as a young infant is a vital need. There's nothing wrong with it. It can be exhausting, and that's why it's important to read and learn safe co-sleeping methods so that you can both get what you need. This doesn't mean that they have to sleep with you forever, but it's good to know how to co-sleep safely during those times when your baby needs to be near you.
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  #16  
September 10th, 2012, 05:32 AM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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Our couch reclines so I slept there for the first 3 weeks with Cameron on my chest. It was the only way I would get sleep. He had no where to roll, I didn't get a crick in my neck, etc. Its where we nap during the day still. He is fine in his pnp during the day as well as long as he's sleeping on me for a good 15-20 min first.

Now at night, DH is sleeping in the spare room and I get our bed with the bassinet beside me. He gets up around midnight, 2:30/3am, and 5:30ish (for the past few days...who knows how long this will last ) and usually after the 5:30 feed I keep him in bed with me. Last night he was a bit fussy so was in bed with me from 2:30 onwards. I sleep light enough and we have a lot of space in the queen size bed for the two of us so he gets DH's spot, I take away all the sheets and there's no pillow etc. Before, I said absolutely no way was I bed sharing, its too dangerous etc. etc. but its definitely the best thing ever. I'm restricting myself to partial nights so DH can come back and sleep with me soon There's not enough room for the 3 of us so its like I have to chose between which of my two men I want to sleep with!
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  #17  
September 10th, 2012, 07:26 AM
afwifey09's Avatar proud momma to Ava Kay
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Location: Mountain Home AFB, Idaho
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If crying kills brain cells, sister is in trouble or shes going to be a stank baby. Diaper changes and bath time are not her favorites! I only let her cry for a couple minutes yesterday and thats cause I noticed she would stop crying in between, so I thought she was settling herself.

Good news though, she slept last night! I pulled out the little bassinet attachment thing for our pnp that I'd forgotten about. Swaddled her up and she slept without a peep in four hour stretches. Last night was a dream! I guess shes just decided she doesn't like laying flat anymore.
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  #18  
September 10th, 2012, 07:27 AM
Corrupt's Avatar Happy Mama
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I sleep with dd on my chest too. Same with DS until he had decent head control and then he slept beside me. I sleep better cuddled with my babies. I can make sure they're breathing and have their face clear of obstructions without having to wake up, whereas if they're in a seperate bed beside me, I jump up in a panic every time I start to doze off to make sure they're alive and safe
DS is still in our bed and DH goes between our bed, the spare room and DS's bed which is in our room - he's a light sleeper and where he sleeps depends on the night and DS's position (and kicking). We'll go back to transitioning DS to his own bed as things calm down...his trouble coping with the change has been nighttime.
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  #19  
September 10th, 2012, 07:30 AM
afwifey09's Avatar proud momma to Ava Kay
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And Que, can you talk to my sil? I'm ready to throat punch her if she doesn't stop saying those three things (shes forming a bad habit sleeping on me, let her cry, shes manipulating you). Shes mother if the year, so obviously I should listen to her. Who wouldn't agree with someone that had her 6 month old forward facing in the car already?? /end vent
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  #20  
September 10th, 2012, 07:42 AM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
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I'm sorry about your SIL. There's so many folks like that out there. Sometimes in those situations, you just have to filter your complaints to them, and tune out when they give their unsolicited advice.

Here is some info about the research conducted at Notre Dame:
Denene Millner: Cry It Out: The Method That Kills Baby Brain Cells

More research has concluded similar results at Havard and Yale, and Baylor. If you want to research this topic, just google the Ferber method (the person who coined the cry it out method) and brain damage or brain cells.
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