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What are you royally fed up with?


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
October 17th, 2012, 06:04 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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lol we've talked a lot about all the lovely things about having a small baby in the house...now's your chance to vent about the sucky things that you really won't be sorry to see the back of when baby gets a bit older. What are you royally fed up with? Be honest.

I'll go first.

For one thing I am fed up with expressing milk. (For those who don't know Michaela never took to latching for various reasons so I exclusively pump and supplement). I have capped it at four times per day - morning, lunch, afternoon, evening - and once in the night, because if I do it anymore than that I would never have time for my son or to rest, bearing in mind that I also do four out of Michaela's six feeds most day plus changes, playing with her, bathing her, etc. But it still feels like I am forever expressing. Do not get me wrong, I am CHUFFED to high heaven that I have milk, which is better than I did for my son, and I want her to have it as long as possible, but all the same I am sorry, it is doing my head in. I'm fed up with leaky breasts all over my clothes and making me smell as well, which tends to happen first thing in the morning. I want to feel sexy again.

Without launching into this too much (again), I am also fed up with the related insomnia which has resulted from the broken sleep. I am still battling it even though Michaela sleeps through now. My body won't accept that I don't need to be pumping milk in the night anymore. If I don't pump, I leak all over the bed. Not quite sure how to break that cycle without going through up to a week of yuck and sore boobs at night.

For another thing I am sad about not having much time for my little boy. I'm glad he's that little bit older and more mature that he can understand Michaela needs a lot of my time and care, but I feel bad for him. And I miss him.

And I am fed up of the very limited couple time. Shaun and I do different "shifts" so to speak so we rarely get time to chill out, and cuddle, or more, together. We did make a conscious decision not to DTD until I have my coil put in, though we have done other things but not as often as either of us would like. And it's not just the sex but just time together to talk and stuff. I miss our relationship as it was. Things like lying in together watching TV and having breakfast in bed on a Saturday morning, or snuggling up and watching a film together at night, falling asleep on his chest, that sort of thing. Of course, we both knew this would be the deal when trying for Michaela. But despite that I still really miss it.

So be honest now ladies, otherwise I am going to feel like a bad mom. What are you royally fed up with and will be glad to see the back of as baby grows?
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  #2  
October 17th, 2012, 06:34 AM
newmommysarah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm fed up of not having a min to myself; im either feeding Noah, changing him or rocking him to sleep. The few brief moments i get when he is just fed and sleepy i spend doing laundry, sterilizing bottles/the pump or taking nappies out to the bin then he starts crying and it starts over.
I'm telling you sunday was the most wonderful day I've had in about a year! My SIL took Noah for 4 whole hours - i ditched the nursing bra, we rented a movie, lit a fire, got a bottle of wine and ordered Chinese food ohhh and the sex well i'll leave it at that but i would highly recommend date nights to all the other exhausted mamas out there.
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  #3  
October 17th, 2012, 06:40 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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oh I so want a date night. I'm thinking of telling Mum and Shaun that what I REALLY want for Christmas is a dirty weekend away just me and Shaun. I'm sure it could be arranged for a w-end when Daniel is with his dad, so Mum could have Michaela. Might leave the "dirty" part off when I ask her though.
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  #4  
October 17th, 2012, 08:14 AM
Cylence's Avatar I'm a Toys 'R Us kid
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I could write a book about what I'm fed up with... I've considered an outright vent, but I keep keeping myself from doing it. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
However, I'm so jumping on this... *laughs*

I am royally fed up with:

- Dear hubby. Where did my amazing husband go? I'm pretty sure I mentioned my fear of how he would be after baby was here & I was right. Do you know he's never once ASKED to hold his own daughter? To cuddle with her? And when I make him take care of her, he acts like it's a HUGE deal! He's getting only SLIGHTLY better with paying her some attention. For the first month & a half, I'd ask him to watch her while I stepped out to smoke and he would continue playing his video games, not even glancing at her. I walked in once and she had spit up ALL over herself, her blanket... she was soaking... and he had no idea..... This is just the tip of the iceberg as to what he does that pisses me off.... I'm SO upset with how he has taken on fatherhood, I could cry.

- My body. I've never been this big in my life and it's affecting my self-esteem and ultimately my intamacy with my own husband. Body parts hurt that have never hurt (my knees, my back) and I just had to buy myself a size 22 jean. I am TRYING to remind myself that I'm still losing weight, but I see the stretch marks and the jeans that I can't even button and, again, I just want to break down and cry.

- Breastfeeding. I've done the lactation cookies, fenugreek... pumping every 2 hours and I can barely produce an ounce each day.

- Washing bottles. All the little parts and crap. yuck.

- My family. I've never much mentioned the issues with my family, but things have gotten progressively worse. I can't even begin to explain the bull**** I'm dealing with when it comes to my mother, my sister & my brother.

- As much as I love hubby's mom, she's REALLY been irritating in the raising Taryn department. I have a HORRIBLE attitude (I'm totally aware of this) and I've been doing my absolute best to smile & nod at her advice, but I may freak out one day. Just saying.

- The house we live in. We renovated his dad's old machine shop and it was perfect for when it was just the 2 of us, but with Taryn here... every time I look at our house, I just get irritated. We don't have walls. We don't have windows. No real air circulation. We don't have a shower or bath tub (we take shower's at his mom's house). On the weekend, Eric sleeps in until noon or later and I'm expected to keep it quiet, when I am needing to pump, play with Taryn, keep her in the mindset that it's daytime - so we won't screw up her schedule.... The oven doesn't work & the convential oven we have is going out. Eric's dad said he would fix it.. that was over a year ago.


I think that's the majority of what I needed to spew before I went ballistic, howver I'm sure there are several more things.
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  #5  
October 17th, 2012, 08:14 AM
Sherry777's Avatar Blessed Mommy
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My schedule is starting to get to me. Pippa may sleep at night, but "I" don't! I pump milk, and then I run through the house organizing and doing things that don't need to be done because I freak out about leaving the house on time the next morning. It takes me THREE hours to get ready and leave the house each morning. I still barely get to work on time.

I still have not had time to DTD with my husband. That is unacceptable to me, but there is never time. When Pippa goes to bed, we pass out. I feel like a bad wife for neglecting his needs, and he has been so patient.

I wish I had more time with the cherubs. George takes them to school while I am nursing Pippa in the morning. He picks them up. He does homework with them. He cooks and entertains them. I am so very grateful I am able to nurse Pippa exclusively, but I have given up a lot of other things in order to make it my main focus. Thank God George is so understanding and helpful. He knows how much nursing Pippa means to me, and he is accommodating. I do feel guilty at times, though.
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  #6  
October 17th, 2012, 08:34 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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ladies xxx

Jacque, your DP needs to grow up. Seriously. Shaun still plays his video games but he cuddles Michaela lots and puts her needs first. If she is crying or sick he watches her like a hawk. Everyone needs down time, but that includes YOU! And as for being quiet on a weekend morning so he can sleep in, ridiculous! He gave up his sleeping in rights when the decision was made to bring a baby into the house! Ugh I so wanna come there and kick his butt!
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  #7  
October 17th, 2012, 08:54 AM
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I am fed up of dh spending all of his free time in his shop with friends over! I am fed up of dh's phone ringing all of the time! I feel like everyone comes first before me & the kids. Dh holds Luke sometimes, but the minute he gets fussy, back to me he comes. He has yet to completely change a diaper. Normally, I don't mind this, but when I'm busy, how hard would it be for him to do it once!
This is what I expected because it has always been this way with the kids. We've always had people over but never this much. Just when I think we are going to get a minute to ourselves, someone pulls in.

I am tired of nursing Luke every 2hrs! I love bf but would like a little more free time in between.

I am just plain tired and a little depressed!
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  #8  
October 17th, 2012, 08:54 AM
Cylence's Avatar I'm a Toys 'R Us kid
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I just don't know how to talk to him anymore. My bestie is ready to do the same. He just really isn't grasping that this kid is a full time job & by the time he gets home in the evenings, I'm just as tired as he is.

And aside from my bestie, who really has no idea what to say to me about it, I have nobody to talk to about it. I've attempted to express my feelings, but I feel like it's going in one ear & right out the other.
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  #9  
October 17th, 2012, 09:29 AM
Mountain~Mama's Avatar ThePastHasNoPowerOverMe
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I can't say I'm royally fed up with anything Sarah does, except for maybe her puking on me everyday. But I know she will out grow it so I just deal with it.

I don't want to rush her out of the baby stage because I know how quickly it will be over on it's own. However, I don't much enjoy her screaming in her car seat almost every time we go somewhere. I love being able to cuddle her at night and will always be there for my kids no matter how old they are, but I need to have my husband back in my bed at some point soon.

One thing I could totally do without is my older girls not fighting all the dang time but I know that will never happen and is a normal part of having multiple children.

I'd love these last 15 pounds to fall off as easily as the first 30 but they seem to be sticking around. AND I hurt my achilles tendon the first time I did the 30DS 3 weeks ago and it's only hurting worse.
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  #10  
October 17th, 2012, 09:31 AM
afwifey09's Avatar proud momma to Ava Kay
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Not surprisingly, my vents are pretty similar to Jacque's.

- I have to "lecture" (I do it nicely, but lets be honest, he still knows he's getting schooled) DH on his time with Ava. Don't get me wrong, I honestly think he's TRYing to help, he just sucks at it. Since he works 24 hour shifts and won't sleep when he gets home in the morning at 7:30, he takes Ava downstairs with him so I can catch up on any sleep I didn't get throughout the night, which is GREAT. Until one morning I couldn't fall back asleep and I realized what he was doing. If she'll tolerate it, he just sticks her in the swing and ignores her. If she fusses there, he lays her on the ottoman and ignores her. Either way, he's playing on his stupid xbox. I mean really, if you're gone for an entire day, and don't wake up with her at night, wouldn't you think he'd want to hold her, play with her, SOMETHING?! So now I don't try sleeping in anymore, I just get up despite my exhaustion and I play with her on her mat, talk to her, hold her, whatever she wants just to give her some attention and stimulation.

- This one is semi related to DH too. I'm so **** sick of his sister. She won't even talk to me now after the spat on facebook and if she ever comes up in conversation (with friends, his parents, anyone), DH is ALWAYS on her side even if she is blatantly wrong. His family can never, ever, EVER do wrong. Ever. But his wife? Of course she's wrong when it comes to his family. Thankfully she's the only one in his family I can't stand, MIL makes remarks too, but she's not intending to be rude about them. Like the other night when Ava wouldn't sleep, he mentioned that Ava will usually at least fall asleep on my chest for awhile, and she like had a snarky laugh and you could tell she thought that was a horrible thing. So of course, DH pretended it didn't happen often. Yeah, right, except every night. Stand up to your mom, child.

- Oh, look, another one related to DH. Every time Ava cries, his reponse is "ooh, its been 4 hours, she's hungry!", and he shoves a bottle in her mouth. All of you BTDT moms can say it isn't possible, but I swear to you she's trained to eat on the dot 4 hours. We can give her less or more, and its still 4 hours on. the. dot. This includes night time. At this rate, she'll never sleep through the night. My nights really aren't horrible, she's a good sleeper for the most part between the feedings, but I'd be thrilled if she'd go 5 or more hours.

- Lastly, THIS LINE ON MY STOMACH! GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!

I think that's all of my vents for now. Basically, DH has really been annoying me lately, so this helps.
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  #11  
October 17th, 2012, 09:56 AM
mzshell13's Avatar Super Mommy
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Here goes:
-I know how my husband is with small babies. He tries (some of the time) but he has no idea what he's doing. I have to ask him to do everything. When I say did you change her diaper he goes "No, she didn't poop." Why on earth can't he get it through his head that you have to change wet diapers too. I don't get it. And it's not like he hasn't done this before. He's walking around saying how tired he is when he sleeps through M's feedings and sometimes stays in my son's room. I swear if he says I'm tired one more time I'm going to have to punch him

-Potty training sucks. Especially when you have a newborn. Especially when your son is smart enough to realize that if he pees all over the place enough times mommy will get tired and put a pullup back on him. I'm taking a break til after our vacation next week and then we're trying this again
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  #12  
October 17th, 2012, 09:57 AM
newmommysarah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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wow every 4 hours - that sounds like heaven! Noah is every 2 hours in the day and 3 hours at night.
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  #13  
October 17th, 2012, 10:17 AM
1fabulousfem's Avatar Mommy to Finn + 1!
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Ladies I have to vent but I'm preparing for David's birthday! I thought I was the only one going through this. I'll be sure to post when I have a minute!
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  #14  
October 17th, 2012, 10:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cylence View Post
I could write a book about what I'm fed up with...

I am royally fed up with:

- Dear hubby. Where did my amazing husband go? I'm pretty sure I mentioned my fear of how he would be after baby was here & I was right. Do you know he's never once ASKED to hold his own daughter? To cuddle with her? And when I make him take care of her, he acts like it's a HUGE deal! He's getting only SLIGHTLY better with paying her some attention. For the first month & a half, I'd ask him to watch her while I stepped out to smoke and he would continue playing his video games, not even glancing at her. I walked in once and she had spit up ALL over herself, her blanket... she was soaking... and he had no idea..... This is just the tip of the iceberg as to what he does that pisses me off.... I'm SO upset with how he has taken on fatherhood, I could cry.

- My body. I've never been this big in my life and it's affecting my self-esteem and ultimately my intamacy with my own husband. Body parts hurt that have never hurt (my knees, my back) and I just had to buy myself a size 22 jean. I am TRYING to remind myself that I'm still losing weight, but I see the stretch marks and the jeans that I can't even button and, again, I just want to break down and cry.
I'm so happy I'm not the only one with a hubby like that. I'm completely over it. I might as well be a single parent. I have to force him to hold her. He never picks her up on his own. He sees watching her as a chore. I'm F***ing fed up with it. This is HIS child!!!!! He says I'm the one that has to do everything because I'm the one not working right now. hello I haven't had a day off in over 2 freaking months. He gets to go to bed when he wants, eat when wants, play video games, watch tv, do everything I CAN"T do whenever he wants. I've cried so much over this. I've talked with him numerous times. Nothing changes. Why can't he come home and just once and offer to take care of her for the night while I give myself a break. He's never gotten up with her. I don't even know when is the last time is changed a diaper. The baby is colic and I get NO help from him. He just leaves the room when she cries. I'm angry all the time bc of him. I want him to step up and freaking be a good father. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #15  
October 17th, 2012, 10:44 AM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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Similar to Jacque and Cassie....I try and get DH to bond with Cameron, and the moment my back is turned, Cameron's in the swing. Or "he's gumming, he's hungry". The hardest thing is now when Kenny gets home from work, he'll come say 'hi' to him, and Cameron gets the HUGEST smile on his face and starts cooing. He LOVES his daddy...who does nothing with him.

DH's mom is driving me nuts. She calls every few days asking us to come see her. She lives over an hour away...its not just a pop over for a bit, its kind of an ordeal. Get in your car lady and come here.

Need to get rid of 45 more lbs...I feel like a cow and hate all the pictures of me and Cam.

We didn't get a nice family picture of the 3 of us this weekend
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  #16  
October 17th, 2012, 10:50 AM
Cylence's Avatar I'm a Toys 'R Us kid
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Quote:
Originally Posted by afwifey09 View Post
His family can never, ever, EVER do wrong. Ever. But his wife? Of course she's wrong when it comes to his family.
This. Oh MAN you are not alone in this. You habe no idea.


I'm so glad I'm not the only one... That's mostly why I haven't said anything because I kept seeing posts about how hubby's are doing so much for the babies, but mine.. I can't seem to pay to get him to act like that. He does nothing for her unless I make him do it. It's awful.
So it seems that hubby's are clueless when it comes to babies & the amount of work & responsibility they are, so.... how do we fix this?
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  #17  
October 17th, 2012, 11:28 AM
MosaicWife's Avatar Missa
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Wow. No way in hell would I put up with what you guys are putting up with from your SO's but I'm way more demanding and blunt. Bobby knows what is expect of him and he also knows if he didn't do it he'd get an earful.

I'm fed up with changing diapers, my daughter's diapers to be specific. I have an infant and a five year old who have to be in diapers. She is three and does NOT have to be in diapers. We've been so close to potty training and she was peeing in the potty no problem for three weeks but never ONCE pooped in the potty. I cleaned her crap out of her panties every freaking day for three weeks until I just gave up and put her back in diapers. But now I get so angry when she poops. I changed 8 poopy diapers a few days ago. EIGHT!! Three of them were hers! I'm so sick of it! I've been changing diapers for over five years! I'm just done...well no I'm not but I wish I was.
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  #18  
October 17th, 2012, 12:33 PM
afwifey09's Avatar proud momma to Ava Kay
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Like I said, I really don't think DH is trying to avoid helping me, I think he's just completely clueless on what to do and is intimated. Whenever he sees me interacting with her, I'll catch him trying the same thing later, so I know he's trying. I also think he just gets bored with flicking playmat toys around for her and talking to her. Sure, its not the most thrilling time of my day, but I love that she loves it. He has no problem changing her diaper, in fact, when he knows its too early to blame her being hungry, that's his first go to! Which just leads to another lecture, we can't go through that dang many diapers in one day! I just wish he didn't rely on the swing so much, I think the other problem is that he doesn't understand she needs stimulation.

Jessica, Ava is the same way.. huge gummy grin when she sees daddy come home in the mornings. I swear she gets more smiles than me and I'm the one holding her and playing with her all the time!

Sarah, Ava is formula fed, so she goes longer. 4 hours really isn't that long for formula, and its 100% fine during the day, I just wish she didn't have that internal food alarm at night and that she'd go longer.
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  #19  
October 17th, 2012, 12:48 PM
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I am fed up wth having to ask for Andrews help. He font wake up with her at all! And if I ask him to feed her ha props her up and puts a blanket under the bottle so he can ... wait for it... sit and watch tv! Who in the heck can't hold a baby and feed her while they do nothing.
I'm also fed up with my step mom telling me how to raise carli telling me that she is sleeping to much not eating an entire bottle.. I hate how she says CarlI is getting chubby the stupid nick names she gives her link hooch, because she is drooling.
Fed up with work being away from carli I want to be there with her all the time and it kills me that I can't.
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  #20  
October 17th, 2012, 12:49 PM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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im so glad i started this thread. sounds like a lot of us needed to blow for one reason or another. im so sorry to hear so many dhs are being so awful. i went thru this with my ex when my son was a baby. he didnt see why i needed a break when i was off work on mat leave and he was working. trying to explain that it was like a 24/7 job didnt work. i had to SHOW him. you ladies need to come up with some reason why you have to be away for a whole day - and night if possible. let him do a full day with baby and see how freakin easy it is. then you will probably find he will pull his weight a bit more. our compromise in the end was he would do daniels last feed of the day at 10.30ish, while i went to bed early on. then on friday night he would go to bed early and i would have a drink, listen to music and chat with friends on msn, and get a lie-in saturday. saturday night i returned the favour.

it sort of worked until i went back to work. he then continued to only do what hed been doing when i was off and couldnt understand why that peed me off. i had a professional, full time job that i couldnt just leave at work!!! then he wondered why i had to come out of teaching and take a pay cut doin admin work just so i wasnt so freakin worn out! men.

i am lucky with shaun for sure. atm, it helps that hes not working as we do half each. if that wasnt the case id have probably had to give up expressing by now as there just would not be time. we are still ok for money just now from my previous job.
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