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I need to vent. (long)**UPDATE**


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
January 28th, 2013, 03:02 PM
writerchick324's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,400
Background: We have a dog named Sampson. Tim brought him home when Elliott was about 8 weeks old.

We are broke. We really are. Seems that we keep getting big bill after bill-Tim had a ticket for passing a weigh station in a large truck $200, my ring $200, daycare $125, travelling through the holidays/christmas $200+...and recently a hospital bill for $300+. (we bring home about $2,000. $550 is rent, $420 is car payments, $165 is insurance, $50 is cell phone for tim-had to cancel mine-, $70 is internet/home phone due to no service on the island, $110 is electric, $260 in gas a month then there is our only 2 extra bills of $30 for legal coverage and $9 for Netflix. So we live penny to penny now)

We don't have money. Like I haven't bought groceries in over a month. It is sooooo frustrating. Luckily we have WIC and I can scrape a few dollars (like $20 this month) to get some things to help make meals out of freezer stuff we have and we have had enough in the cabinets to get by (so we aren't starving) but we are getting down there.

Now Sampson-he is annoying. I have told Tim that I don't like him anymore. Flat out. He is 5 months old and HUGE the size of a lab. (He is a mutt). He constantly walks in front of me, making me trip, stands in doorways so that I have to walk into him to get him to move, sits on my feet-like his butthole touching my feet because he doesn't like to sit on the floor, he is potty trained but the second we put him outside he runs off to all the neighbors and I have to chase him, he still will have accidents in the house RIGHT AFTER I take him outside, and most recently, he scratched the area his harness was, and tore through the skin. We are waiting to see how the cream and dressings we put on him do before taking him to the vet. I feel bad, I have empathy for an animal in pain. It's a nasty looking wound.

I am pissed though because we found out our returns were going to be just under $7,000. This would pay off the credit cards AND Tim's volvo, giving us an extra $300 in income every month. That would be used to buy food and save for a house since ours is really crappy that we are renting, drafty, and we recently have seen bees flying in the kitchen sporadically so there is a nest in the attic somewhere (all awesome for a baby).

If Sampson has to go to the vet, it will take a large chunk of our return. Of course I wouldn't give him away or anything but it would cause major resentment. I worked hard for that money (most of the return is mine) and for most of it to go to a dog that I don't even like would infuriate me. There are things we need, like food, a newer carseat, diapers, etc and I wanted to save for a treadmill since I am only down 20 out of 50 that I gained from my pregnancy and I have been dieting so exercise would be great. (I live in WA so it's rainy now).

I just needed to vent. I don't want 2-3k going to Sampson. Don't get me wrong, I don't want him in pain or anything, and I will take him if it doesn't get any better, but it doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. Plus, Elliott has been clingy these last two days. I can't get anything done. Every time I put him down he screams like I hurt his feelings and throws a HUGE fit where he wont stop crying until I pick him up again. I feel very overwhelmed right now. It's hard seeing Tim's family buying houses and cool gadgets when we can't even afford food and are living paycheck to paycheck. I was in line getting chicken breasts and WIC this morning and had to pay with 1)Cash I found in my wallet, 2)WIC check 3) EBT/Food Stamps card 4) .50 on my debit card. Wow. Looked awesome.

Sorry, this isn't a plea or pity party, I just needed to get this off my chest. I know other people have it worse than we do, but I am used to two full time incomes, so going down to one and 60 hours a month is tough. I am not used to being THIS poor. It's hard telling Tim because it makes me look lazy, ungrateful and horrible for not liking my own dog, especially since he is hurt. And Tim defends everything that I say. He says things like, "Well, if you liked Sampson and he could be in the house then I wouldn't have had to put the harness on him and put him outside..." or "Kimber, you go on facebook all day, I see all the notifications I get for stuff so what do you mean you don't get time off?" (He constitutes people commenting or liking stuff I post that he is tagged in as me being on facebook).

It's really getting to me. He has been so negative lately. "Why is there so much stuff piled under the sink?" And of course, it wouldn't be because he put anything there. It would be my fault. It's tough right now.


**UPDATE**

We took Sampson to the Pet Emergency center. There as no way I could manage to take him and Elliott with me in the car when we have no kennel or anything. I have watched Sampson stomp all over Elliott in his carseat before, and I wasn't about to try to drive by myself with all of that.

He ended up not needing stitches (surprise) and he does not have fleas but he does have a staph infection all over his body. We got some antibiotics and anti-inflammatory for him, plus a onsie for him to wear and a cone thing for his head. $375.

Not as bad as I thought it would be, but still did not want that amount. I put it on my Care Credit card and hope to pay it off with the tax return and not impact it too much. We still fought on the way home and are on completely different sides of the fence on this. It is going to have to be a agree-disagree topic because neither of us are budging and Tim refuses to acknowledge my feelings and why I would be upset over it. So drop it I will. ......But I am still mad!
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Elliott David: 9/13/12, 5:36pm, 8lbs15oz, 20 1/2" long!










Last edited by writerchick324; January 30th, 2013 at 10:41 AM.
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  #2  
January 28th, 2013, 05:45 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 781
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Hopefully things get better. I understand you resenting the dog. DH wanted a lab puppy so bad and I broke down and got one. DH is in the Navy and gone A LOT so I was always taking care of her... she chewed everything and was too hyper for me to handle when I have the kids to take care of. I was at my wits end and finally told DH we had to find her a new home. Honestly if it is causing strain in your relationship, you may want to find him a new home. Our dog was full lab and I gave her, along with all her belongings that we had bought (including a $80 cage) away to a good family. I interviewed people first so it wasn't like I was giving her away to whoever wanted a dog. As for working out, you may want to look at the YMCA. Most of them have an open door policy where you can say what you are comfortable paying monthly and they work with you. Most of the locations have a stay and play where you get 2 hours a day of free daycare included in your family membership. If (after your tax return and you lower a few bills) you can swing 30 to 50 a month it would be really good. You need time for you. You could get it while working out. We have an elliptical and I never use it... I would rather go to the gym because I don't have to worry about the kids needing me while I work out.

Anyways, hope things get better for you!
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  #3  
January 28th, 2013, 05:47 PM
Blessed Mommy Of 5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,056
I am so sorry, Kimber. I understand exactly where you are coming from. We are having money issues as well. We can afford our bills, but we have little extra money. It's tough. DH brought home 2 puppies a couple of months ago. One is a rottweiler and the other is a boxer. They have already gotten big. They get on my very last nerve. they still use the bathroom in the house at times and they misbehave! They ate vinyl tiling from the kitchen floor, scratched up a huge spot on the kitchen wall, chewed the table legs, they pull down laundry from hangers and off of the table when I leave it there after folding it. They don't listen. They have even tore open a bag of trash and got it everywhere. OMG, I do not like them at all. Not to mention they eat a lot of dog food. They go through a huge bag weekly.

I don't want them. Point blank. I can certainly understand why you wouldn't want all of that money to go to the vet. Geesh. Dogs are expensive enough as it is. Personally, I would not spend that kind of money on either of the dogs DH went and got. Maybe some people will think I am just mean for saying that; but we need our money and I just couldn't see that much money being spent that way. Especially on a dog I really don't even like or want.

I hope your dog heals fine so that you don't have to take him to the vet!!

**big hugs**
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  #4  
January 28th, 2013, 06:24 PM
smashley8's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,637
Geez, what is with men bringing home dogs so that their wives can take care of them? I know how stressful it is to have no money. All I can say is hang in there, money comes and goes but your happiness is most important! I would agree with Kim and say that if the dog is coming between you two, maybe it's time to find him another good home. That doesn't resolve what you will have to pay for vet bills now, but maybe finding him another home will bring you much needed relief and you can move on from the expenses. Hopefully it won't cost you much, if at all.
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  #5  
January 28th, 2013, 06:52 PM
2Reasons2Smile's Avatar Love my little family <3
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 19,398
Hugs we have been struggling a bit here too but not too bad yet could definitley be worse. We are praying for Evelyns child tax and universal child care benift to finally be put in place as the government has to back pay it which will help us a ton (canada thing)

My suggestion for the dog is get it a wire crate and get it crate trained. We got a puppy two days before christmas and I would have killed her by now if we didn't have her crate where I can lock her away so she leaves me and the kids alone and it has benefited so much in getting her house trained. (look on fb buy sell groups and craiglist find a used cheap one) I really hope his wound heals without you having to take him into a vet. To be honest the dog spends more time in her cage than out of it especially when its just me and the kids home.
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  #6  
January 28th, 2013, 08:29 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,605
I am with you in the struggling department if it is one bill it is another right now we just put 10 in the tank and are waiting till pay day things are tight I agree it could be worse bit it sucks while you are living paycheck to paycheck I have faith that things will get better there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am sorry about the dog I hope he does not have to go to the vet and I totally agree that if he is straining the relationship he should go.
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  #7  
January 28th, 2013, 09:26 PM
jojo2bee's Avatar Matthew's Mommy!
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 2,386
Im so sorry! I understand it being tight with money to, were going paycheck to paycheck with very little extra and everytime I turn around we get another bill, we have Matthews dr appts to pay for still plus 2 extra and hospital bills from when he was hospitalized with an pneumonia for a few days, gas in my car and now DH is having back issues (compressed disc) so thats a pain to. But I get it being hard right now, hopefully with mme working again it will help.

I also agree with Kim and if the doggy is getting in between your relationship maybe it is time to find him a new home.

Im so sorry and I hope things get better soon! I hope the cream works on doggy! *hugs*
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  #8  
January 29th, 2013, 05:20 AM
RunningMommyTo5's Avatar Marathoning Mom to 4!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 4,443
I agree with the other ladies. Your relationship and mental health is much more important than struggling with trying to like a dog that you may end up resenting. I hope he heals on his own and there will be no need for the vet! There are a few vets here that will take the dogs as an owner surrender, treat them at no cost, and rehome them. They get the care they need, they are taken care of and loved by the vet until they can find a new family for the dog. Is there any vets like this is your area should his need for treatment come about?

I also have to agree with Kim about the Y. We set aside the $40 a month for me to have my gym membership. We're tight on money, too, but this is a necessity for my mental health and well-being. You get the 2 hours a day of childcare, which sometimes for me, my early morning runs and then the gym time may be the only "me" time I get in a day.

I hope this all works out for you. Your frustration is definitely understandable.
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  #9  
January 29th, 2013, 05:48 AM
curlygirl77's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The UK
Posts: 1,142
You're not a bad person for disliking the dog, so don't feel bad. I also cannot stand our dog most of the time lol. I think if you decide to keep Sampson, some training would help you. Maybe your so could work since he was the one that got him. The things you describe, like sitting on your feet and standing in doorways,are him trying to assert his dominance over you. Trust me, you don't want a big domoneering dog and a crawling baby, bad combination. Get Sampson a crate. This was a lifesaver for us when we got our rescue dog. Just use it for short periods to strt, put something nice in the crate to eat and make it welcoming so he will go in. Don't lock him in at first, let him come and go and soon he will see it as his den and gladly go in. You can then sendhim in there when he gets too hyper or you need a break. Teach him house manners, like sit, lie down. Down let him barge into you or shoot through a doorway ahead of you. And get your so to give him a long walk every day, this really helps.

The fussiness stage is probably just a phase. I am going through something similar with micah. She will play happily as long as i am next to her but the minute i leave to get something done, waaaahhhhh! I know it's frustrating, but it will get better.

I can imagine how worried and frustrated you must be and i really hope things start to get better soon! <hugs>
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  #10  
January 29th, 2013, 06:52 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,641
If the cream doesnt work shave the area and put betadine on it. its not too expensive, we used it on the cats tail, and used to use it on reptiles too.

As for the potty training, I'm no help. We will NEVER EVER get a puppy, even after losing Katie. We still have 1 dog left, and MAYBE in the future we might get another elderly dog. One that someone doesn't want because they're not a fun puppy anymore. I'm not a big dog fan either, and I wouldn't deal with pee on the carpet.
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  #11  
January 29th, 2013, 11:48 AM
writerchick324's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,400
We did shave it and put Betadine on it first, then two different antifungals and then petroleum jelly, wrapped it and put shirts on him then taped his feet so he couldn't scratch the area. Couple hours worth of work last night. It was a pain.

Tim said we will look into getting a kennel with some of the money left over from the tax return. I think that's a good compromise. That way, I am not telling him that he must get rid of the dog (I hate making rules for him, it doesn't work for us, we normally just compromise so each person feels their needs are met) so that way we can hae him, but he can be outside when it's just Elliott and I.

I want to say that you ladies rock. It is SO reassuring to know that people can understand where I am coming from! My mom said she feels bad for the dog and that he shouldn't be here.

And Michelle, I am glad to know we are in the same boat, even if I am not too happy about it for you! I wouldn't want someone else to have to deal with it too! But it helps me feel not so alone out there, and it's nice to know I have many things in common with you ladies. I felt SO much better after reading your responses, I was kinda afraid I would get some flac back on it!

You guys had great suggestions. If it ends up not working out with the kennel, then I will put my foot down and say he needs a new home. I agree that my peace of mind and our relationship is far more important than the dog. And maybe we can go pick a dog out next time for a family dog, so it's not just Tim bringing one home. Maybe if I was part of it, and it was a smaller dog for our tiny place I would feel better about it. (He looks like he is part Rott part German Shepard).

But thank you ladies. I feel like a HUGE weight is off not from just venting but getting my feelings acknowledged. I knew I wouldn't get that anywhere else. **HUGS TO YOU ALL!***
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Elliott David: 9/13/12, 5:36pm, 8lbs15oz, 20 1/2" long!









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