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So this will be my journal since I dont want another ddc. Maddie has already called dibbs as my ddb so sorry all other ladies....lol. nahh ill be keeping you all as updated as possible. Nausea has hit me like a ton of bricks the past week. I started out not having any and my mom swore up and down I was having a boy because of that...coming from the woman who thought she had the flu when she was actually pregnant with my little brother. Lol still no dr yet but will be going to one soon.
I was just looking at a post a lady in another PR had posted about being upset over the fact that she failed at breastfeeding. It threw me back to when Athena was born because I remember so well how I felt. I wanted to breastfeed her and I had so many problems, between my breasts getting sore and cracked, and then my supply decreasing because I wasn't pumping/breastfeeding as often as I should've due to the problems, and it although I know the important thing is that Athena is healthy and she's getting the nutrition she needs (even if the pediatrician disagrees because she's a small child), it makes me want so badly to try again with this next baby.
I have my concerns about it, but I feel like it's not going to be the same situation...hopefully. I'm praying my little girl/boy is going to be born healthy...no NICU stay, no feeding tube...I'm praying that I'll be able to breastfeed from the beginning and that I can just go with it. I remember right after Athena was born, she had the most perfect little latch. She just automatically knew what to do, and I held her in my arms and just couldn't take my eyes off of her. I was so proud and I really looked forward to that connection. And then they took her for her bath and then to the NICU without even telling me she was going there. I didn't see Eric or Athena for about 3 hrs before the nurse came in to tell me what was going on.
I couldn't even hold my baby for the first couple days. I couldn't pick her up and try to feed her myself. She had to take the breastmilk/formula through a feeding tube that went through her nose. The first chance I had to breastfeed, she had the most difficult time latching. I tried to keep up with the pumping, and then ran into all of my problems.
I'd give anything for it to be different this time. I want so badly for it to happen with this baby. I'm thankful that the formula was there and that I was able to get that for her, but I need to be able to breastfeed my next baby.
Sometimes it's easier the 2nd time around because you have more experience plus you can look back and see what you would change or things that might help this time. I wasn't able to bf #1 but I have #2, 3 & 4. With #2 I knew what to do different. For the first weeks it was very difficult getting Luke (#4) to latch and to nurse good. If he had been my 1st it might not have worked. Since I had experience, I knew what I needed to do and stuck with it.
You will do great. You always have us for support and hey, if it doesn't work, don't beat yourself up.
Sarah, my milk just never came in with Daniel and I was upset with myself about it for a long time. With Michaela, I gave it another go, and we had the same latching issues, but I was able to pump and get an ample supply, and I made it to three months before I had to take meds to right my sleeping issues. It's definitely possible for it to be entirely different with another baby.
Today I'm feeling a little blah. I'm tired, and I've been getting those cramps like I got with Athena. The nausea hasn't been as bad since I had that 1 day of being really sick. Honestly, I just don't feel like doing anything right now. I'm thinking about just going back to bed, but Athena has been such a crab this morning that I don't know if I will have time to just go back to bed. She ate at 7 this morning...1 jar of food and 1 8oz bottle (her usual), and then she had her play time, I put her down for a nap which she really didn't sleep, I got her back up and tried to feed her again at 11, which she fought so I checked her diaper, let her play, and put her back down because she was fussy. She still didn't want to sleep. Eric got up with her, tried to feed her at 12, she still fought it but he kept trying to feed her because sometimes if she's really hungry she will fuss through the feeding. He finally gave up, was walking to the kitchen and she projectile vomitted EVERYTHING onto the dining room carpet! I was pissed, Eric took it personal, and then we basically put her back in bed after a while, because we couldn't do anything else for her. She's passed out now but like I said, I don't know for how long. I might still go lay down and if she gets up I will put her in her jumper. Thank the LORD I don't have to work the next couple of days!