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Yesterday I had not 1 but 3 people say something to me on facebook about my posts. And while 2 of them upset me I was able to blow them off because they were men. However, the last person was one of my really good friends. I don't talk to her too often but I consider her a good friend, we were super close in highschool, she actually was the one to introduce me to my husband. Anyhow, she posted a picture on her facebook of a browser that apparently takes pictures of babies and changes them into a picture of a cat or dog and claimed "this is the best invention ever". I was hit hard considering her boyfriend was one of the men to make a comment. So I commented, "So you don't want to see pictures of Summer anymore? lol". I kind of regretted commenting so I deleted it. Well, she must have gotten a notification or something because she seen it and PMed me. Saying "It was more of a joke then anything... But since we are on the topic, I understand that being a mom is overwhelming and it's hard.. But you complain way to much about summer not sleeping and what not, I love u, but you need to limit it.. It makes you sound unappreciative, I know you are happy but I don't see it sometimes." I seriously thought I was going to cry. Basically I explained to her she could delete me then because I have people on my facebook I go to for support, people who want to see my pictures and people who care enough to read about my sleep issues lately. There was a little more of the convo but basically nothing productive so I deleted her and her boyfriend. THEN she ran to twitter writing that "My fb page is no longer toxic. Hello, adult life, Good bye, my teenage years.. #realtalk" I didn't realize that being married with a home of my own and a child was toxic and considered part of the teenage years. I'm so blown away. I'm slowly getting over it because I KNOW a real/true friend would care and maybe even comment asking me if I was ok and hanging in there, but she obviously doesn't. AND what I don't get, and mentioned to her, why is it ok for people to post about something repeatedly (in her case about hockey, which i hate) but when I post about my child or pictures it's "too much". I swear... people without kids... I hope their day comes, and I hope no one is there for them since they were such an ***** to their friends when they couldn't relate.
Sorry to hear that...
Facebook is a very touchy thing and information sometimes does not come across the way that is was intended...
Her post did read as though it was endearing... But also she is not married with kids to know how we feel... But us JM's are here for you because we can relate! HUGS!
It's just different times and stages of life that she hasn't come across "Yet"...
Since I live so far away from family and my dearest friends, FB is the primary way I share pics/videos of Jack with them. I do realize that not everyone who is "friends" with me on FB wants to see as much about mommyhood and babies as I do, but I figure they can just filter their newsfeed to not include my posts. I do the same to people who annoy me with their constant posts about politics or religion or memes or whatever. That way, no one's feelings get hurt, and I don't have to be annoyed every time I log onto FB.
Perhaps one day your friend will have a family of her own and will realize that she shouldn't have been so insensitive.
I found after I had Daniel that some friends without kids fell away, but those who didn't I know are true, true friends.
And anyway WE all want to read all your updates so sod her!
What parents with babies don't complain sometimes about how hard and confusing it can be to raise them, how tired they are and fed up with baby being up in the night??? It's NORMAL! It doesn't mean we don't love and appreciate our babies - of course we do!! Having children fulfils one need, but we have other needs to.
Don't take a thing to heart that she said, Aubrey. You're a lovely mommy to Summer! Having not been in this situation herself she cannot possibly know how you feel.
Yeah I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Screw her. She doesn't matter. She obviously needs to do some growing up so don't worry about it. I don't think you complain a lot at all. I have people that I deleted because of complaining so I'm a trigger finger when it comes to whining. The way I feel about it is that if I'm supposed to sit here and read "Missing him. Can't believe he treated me this way. Broke my heart." "*** you! If you don't want to spend time with your girlfriend then I don't care! I'm going to go find myself a real man!' " Love this man so much! He is my one true soulmate!" every freaking day FROM THE SAME PERSON then they can darn well suffer through my pictures. At least my kid is cute. And so is yours. Plus like Adrienne said most of my friends are far away and this is how I stay in touch. Your actual friends and family love seeing your pictures and understand that sometimes you're struggling. Who cares about the people who don't? There's a hide button. They'll get over it. I'm glad you de-friended them. You don't need that.
I've had friends like that through the years. When I had my first, it was back in the friendster/livejournal days. Then there was Myspace. I had hate coming at me then for posting anything "too positive" or "too negative" blah blah blah. I simply learned that it was not my responsibility to make myself accountable for other people's likes/dislikes/insecurities. I simply made sure that the things I post were things I would be willing to share in a room full of those 500 people.
Funny thing is now, those people are friends with me again on facebook and asking me for advice.
I love that you all get it! I'm pretty much over it. There's a small part of me that is bummed to have lost a good friend... but who wants a friend like that anyhow. And since we hardly hung out or even talked is making it easier
Honestly, she thinks running to Twitter and posting some stupid crap like that makes her more grown up? I'd have added, "Good-bye high school years...hello Jr. High!" because seriously, talk about petty childish games.
She obviously doesn't understand how FB works if she's too tech challenged to figure out how to limit what she sees on her feeds. I don't even use FB (and this is one of the many reasons why) and I could manage a feed just fine if need be.
I say let her go. I'm sure there are plenty of people on her own 'friends list' that find her doubly annoying for her lack of tact
Screw her. It's hard not to have hurt feelings though. She's the one missing out. When she has kids of her own maybe she'll understand.
I have some friends that constantly post sayings & other things. I don't always have time or care to read all of that so I just ignore it, skim through & filter it. No big deal. Why people have to be jerks about it is beyond me. I'm glad you unfriended them.
Awww. I am sorry that a friend was so insensitive. I too use FB to post tons of pics of my kids, all of my family live in either Michigan or in Florida so the only way they see my kids grow is through the pictures I post on FB, and I will also post status about how tired I am from lack of sleep or the joys of being a mom. I say shame on her for being like that, she will one day regret it when she has kids of her own!
I'm pretty shocked, I guess most my friends have kids so they understand and the few who don't love my kids and love hearing about them. I'd delete her, she has no idea what it's like to be a new Mother and really her condescending know it all tone was pathetic. You're a wonderful Mummy, you don't complain too much either. Keep posting how you see fits on your Facebook and cut out the negative people.
Emma, girlfriend of Loz, future step-mama to J (15) and K (10), Mama to Jaelah (8), Oliver (5), Mianna (4) and Harper (2), WTTC our first together, in 2015.