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Losing my mind *added last nights experience*


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
March 19th, 2013, 04:17 AM
aubers68's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I seriously don't know how much longer I can last. Summer will not sleep for me. Things seem to be getting worse and worse. I've seriously caught myself screaming at her bc I'm so tired. She stayed at my moms over the weekend and only woke up twice for her. I don't get it. All I know is I seriously feel like I can't last much longer. I'm so tempted to put her in her crib, shut the door and let her scream.



I know things won't change over night but we had yet another rough one. I took everyones advice and tried to up her bedtime. She started showing signs of being tired around 7:30. I changed her diaper, put some lotion on her and Pjs on. Nursed her. She fell asleep pretty quickly. I decided that I would try making this her bedtime as I obviously didn't want it to be a nap. She ended up sleeping until 9:45p and was WIDE awake when she woke up. I tried getting her back down by rocking and nursing her but she was up and ready to go. I kept her in the bedroom but did turn the TV on. This kid was ready to party. She stayed up until 12:45a!! Once getting her back down she slept with no issue until 2:45am. I tried letting her fuss a little but she wasn't having it. So I picked her up and nursed her. She was out almost instantly. She then slept until 3:35am and once again I ended up picking her up and rocking her. She finally went back to sleep at 4am and slept till about 5:30a. At 5:30a she only fussed a tad and then went back to sleep on her own until waking up again at 6:30a. This time I could not get her back down despite the fact she was sleeping just fine in my arms. Finally I gave in and let her sleep in my bed. I tried moving her towards the middle of the bed and she FREAKED. She wanted to be right next to me. After getting that all situated she slept until 8:45a. UGH!

I'm going to try to get her to take more naps today as she hasn't really been taking too many. She only took one 2hr nap yesterday (then again she didn't wake up until almost 11a yesterday since the night was so horrible)

Question.... what do you do to get your baby to nap if they aren't showing any signs of being tired?
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  #2  
March 19th, 2013, 05:18 AM
TKbunny's Avatar Elias's slave..err..Mommy
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I'm so sorry Aubrey I'm not sure why but Elias has nights where he'll wake every hour for most of the night as well. He goes in spells. I know how hard it is, and I feel for you, hon. But if you need to place her in her crib to scream it out for a bit while you cool off, then do it. I've had to before, and anyone who says they've never done it, not even once is either lying or the worlds most perfect parent. We all need to get some space once in a while for our own sanity. I've yelled at Bubs a time or two when I'm over tired. The good thing is they won't remember it and they forgive us, we just need to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes.

I wish I could tell you there's a magic button to make babies sleep well every night, but so far I haven't found it. Teething and growth spurts may be making her have rough nights. If your mom or someone else you trust will take her over night a few times a week, then do it so you can get your rest and reset your mind. This will all pass, hon. You can do this. You're a wonderful mother, don't ever think otherwise.
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  #3  
March 19th, 2013, 06:38 AM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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I had some improvements for a few nights, and now we're back to every 90 minutes-ish...except for before I go to bed, that seems to be his 4 hour stretch . It seems so much worse after having those teaser nights. And now he's in his crib instead of in bed with me so I am so much more tired since I have to fully wake up to tend to him.

It seems as though she's just up for comfort from you if she'll sleep for your mom. Does she take a paci at all? Perhaps popping one in might help her get back to sleep quickly? I know a friend of mine slept beside the crib for a bit to give comfort in the form of hand holding to help get her baby boy to sleep longer. One thing that helped us was a magic bag heated and wrapped in one of my scarfs. It only lasted a day in there since he was shoving his face into it and it made me nervous, but then I laid the scarf out and tucked the edges down, and he still rubs his face in the scarf and I think that helps him with his longer stretch.

I am sorry you're still dealing with this. I have yelled at him too (a 'what the hell can you possibly want?!?'), and on Friday night, after almost 2 hours of him being awake (its 1am and I'd been up since 5am with him and I can't sleep when he naps during the day as I need to clean my house), I needed a 5 minute break, and I just put him in his crib, walked out, and he was out cold. He didn't even cry. These little things give me hope.

Huge hugs coming your way from another sleep deprived mama.
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  #4  
March 19th, 2013, 06:48 AM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
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Rowan did this a couple of weeks ago. I was at my whits end. I DID yell at him. I'm also a yeller at all my kids though... it's my dirty little secret.

Then last week, I tried something new. His naps had been a little "off" so I figured, maybe he was trying to drop a nap. So I kept him up till lunch time and let him just have an afternoon nap. Then I put him down when he got tired that night, which was about 20 mins earlier than normal. I usually put him to bed, then I go to bed a few hours later. He always seems to wake up as soon as I go to bed and stay up for a while. So the day I changed his nap, I slept on the couch the baby monitor since his crib is in my room (to see how he would sleep without me going in and waking him up), and he slept till 6am the next morning. I've followed the same pattern for a week and he has done it 3 more times. The other times, he is just waking up to nurse once. I think that if we had the space, he would do great to sleep in his own room. Unfortunately, he is going to have to share when he moves out of our room. So for now, my husband and I are just sleeping on couches.

Anyhow- all that to say, it might be worth evaluating naps. I haven't been online as much so I don't know if you have already done that. But it made a huge difference for Rowan and I remember my other kids acting the same.

Teething also makes them sleep lighter as well.
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  #5  
March 19th, 2013, 06:58 AM
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Have you tried any kind of sleep training? It doesn't necessarily have to be CIO. It really helped M get back on track. Also, bedtime is important, too. Babies this age shouldn't go to bed any later 8pm (meaning asleep by 8pm). The ideal time is 7pm. It's trial and error, too. I finally found M's perfect time...and having a consistent bedtime routine every night is essential.

But, like the other ladies said...growth spurts, teeth, wonder weeks, etc. Make it hard. We still have random night if waking due to teeth...just went through a wonder week, too.

What's her bedtime and night routine right now?
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  #6  
March 19th, 2013, 08:55 AM
Mrs.Julie's Avatar Mommy to 3 Princesses
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This is of no help....but if youre stressed, her sleep and over all grouchiness will only get worse. Catch 22, eh? Thats probably why she slept better for someone else, your mum. She was relaxed so baby was as well. You sound just like me after my first. So I really know how it is. And it will get better! If you are yelling at baby, I would consider seeing a counselor or possibly even meds (hides!) Normally I wouldnt suggest meds but I think it could help. Sometimes I wish I had taken that route and not had to deal with the frustration.
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  #7  
March 19th, 2013, 09:02 AM
afwifey09's Avatar proud momma to Ava Kay
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I'm still right there with ya, Aubrey. Ava woke up at 1130 the other night...for the day. She was playing and cooing, but if I tried laying her back down...melt down. At 3am, I finally put her in her pnp and let her cry. She finally fell asleep after maybe 15 minutes, I was thrilled. Sleep lasted 15 minutes. I can now honestly say nothing works for Ava, including CIO. She'll sleep when she wants and I have to somehow survive until she starts sleeping well.
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  #8  
March 19th, 2013, 09:23 AM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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Wow Cassie, no idea it was that bad for you too! I've only dealt with the wide awake in the middle of the night to play, two or three times and it was horrible! I just have constant wake-ups for not even 5 minutes, he barely opens his eyes. He just does it 8 times in an 8 hr period which drives me bonkers. And it takes me longer to get back to sleep so I get no sleep.
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  #9  
March 19th, 2013, 09:56 AM
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I sympathise with you all, I really do. Michaela is very hit and miss. We alternate sleeping in with her overnight and we both seem to get our share of good nights and terrible ones. I think teething has a lot to do with it.

I've lost my temper with her when I've been tired as well and spoken unkindly to her. A step away from shouting. I'm sure it's normal. We all need rest, and none of us are perfect. I wouldn't say you need counselling/meds if it's JUST situational and due to sleep deprivation, but if you feel there's anything more to it Aubrey then perhaps a chat with your doctor would be a good idea. I definitely think it's a good idea to get help sometimes so that you can get a good rest. We all need it.

Thinking of you. Xxx.
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  #10  
March 19th, 2013, 10:01 AM
aubers68's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Her bed time lately has been about 930. She's a night owl. It used to be 10:30/11 but we have slowly managed to get her to go down at 930. She usually falls asleep nursing and then I put her down in her rock n play. I've tried numerous times the pack n play or crib and I'm not kidding when I say she throws an all out fit. Which I don't get because she naps in the pack n play at my moms just perfectly. She usually has a 3 hour stretch then will wake up every hour, just about on the hour. But lately it's been horrible. She doesn't really get a 3 hour stretch anymore but she has gone right to waking up every hour. I will pick her up when she starts crying and half the time she will fall asleep almost instantly in my arms, and others she will dream nurse for about 5-10 minutes before going back down. And the biggest problem we are having at the moment is when I try to put her back down she wakes up about a minute after laying her down. I've tried letting her fuss but it has turned into full blown crying and then her being wide awake. So typically I've just been picking her right up and starting all over before laying her down again.


I don't know how I can reevaluate her naps because we have no real schedule time wise. I know she naps a few hours after waking and then once in the afternoon and then once around early evening. I've tried turning her last nap into her bedtime but it just didn't work. I've tried keeping her up and not letting her get that late nap and she turns into a huge brat lol (just super fussy).


I know this will all pass but I just wish it was sooner! LOL
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  #11  
March 19th, 2013, 10:12 AM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
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I think it's much easier for us to change up naps because there's always something to distract Rowan around here. It really does sounds like she's not getting enough sleep. I would try to work it out to one long nap after lunch and move bedtime to 7-8 (most pediatricians will say to put your kids to bed any time they show fatigue after 6:30- we've only had to do that on busy days). Tossing in a bed time routine really helps babies get used to going to bed too.

And another little trick- my kids hate being put to bed around this age. So I won't lay them down. I just leave them sitting up in their crib and I play with toys with them until they get interested in something. Then I just step away.
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  #12  
March 19th, 2013, 10:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~~Que~~ View Post

And another little trick- my kids hate being put to bed around this age. So I won't lay them down. I just leave them sitting up in their crib and I play with toys with them until they get interested in something. Then I just step away.
Does he eventually just lay down to sleep? Or does he cry to sleep?
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  #13  
March 19th, 2013, 11:00 AM
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Okay, what time is her last nap? She should not be napping any later than 4-4:30pm (meaning she needs to be awake by then from last nap). Also, definitely watch for her nap cues, but typically, the 1st nap will be 2 hours after getting up for the day, then 2.5 hours between waking from the other naps.

So, I would work on getting her naps down first, then try bedtime around 7:30pm. I highly rec SleepEasy solutions. It has different methods, too.sounds like she's way overtired...which is causing the excessive wakings, scream fits, etc.

Also, if you don't already, do bath, feeding, book, cuddle every night before bedtime. And no loud or light up toys 30 min before bedtime, either.
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  #14  
March 19th, 2013, 12:20 PM
Mrs.Julie's Avatar Mommy to 3 Princesses
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EEEk, I hope you dont think I was admonishing you for yelling at baby. I dont think you should take meds for that...it came off a bit wrong and I guess I took the "losing mind" thing literally. I just meant if this is really really hard for you and youre miserable, theres nothing wrong for seeking help. I see now I took it a bit too literally and you are doing just fine. Im silly
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  #15  
March 19th, 2013, 12:47 PM
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Hugs to you from another sleep deprived mommy. Except my two take turns waking up during the night, never at the same time. And neither one wants daddy :/

Sounds like she's comfort nursing. She's gotten used to falling asleep with a boob in her mouth, and wants it to stay there. That's how my son was. He'd sleep like a dream at my parents and wake every 1.5 hrs with me. After 2 months of this, I finally got fed up one night and refused to nurse him after a certain hr, I think it was like 2 am. I'd comfort him any other way possible, but I knew he wasn't hungry since he'd been comfort nursing for hrs before. The first few nights were hell, but finally he caved in and just fell asleep in my arms. I slowly eliminated each nighttime nursing session until it was down to 1, and then none.
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  #16  
March 19th, 2013, 01:09 PM
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We had such a great sleeping pattern for him, and he would go to bed by 8:00pm. But since the time change last week, his routine is all over the place .... arggghhh!
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  #17  
March 19th, 2013, 01:18 PM
therevslady's Avatar Built for Birth
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Originally Posted by mama4life View Post
Does he eventually just lay down to sleep? Or does he cry to sleep?
I will hear him playing on the monitor, then he just gets quiet. I spied on him once before, and he just grabbed his paci and turned over onto his belly and went to sleep.
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  #18  
March 19th, 2013, 02:19 PM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
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I'm watching a programme about sleep training, if I see anything else on it other than what ladies have already said, I will let you know.
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  #19  
March 19th, 2013, 05:53 PM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
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http://www.mummyology.co.uk/2012/08/...ont-sleep.html

Came across this...not sure if its been shared on here since I know I've come across it before. No specific advice in it, but might help you pinpoint what is bothering her since she used to be a decent sleeper.
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  #20  
March 19th, 2013, 06:48 PM
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It's driving me crazy too but nothing like what you're describing.

Millie does 8 am wake, 10 am nap, 1 pm nap, 7:30 pm bed, 11 pm feed, 4 am feed.

I checked my son's baby book and he started sleeping through the night at 8 months and didn't sleep the full 12 hours through the night until 9 months. So I'm pretty much waiting until then before I start any hard core training.

On the CIO thing, Cassie - you made me LOL - i think it takes more than 15 mins of trying

I generally have shied away from it - with my son, I wanted to give him 9 months before I tried sleep training and he magically started sleeping through the night as soon as (literally the day) I bought the "No Cry Sleep Solution". So I'm trying to give her 9 months too.

You're not alone!! But if I were where you are.....I would seirously be considering some sleep training. People live and die by different books, I think they all probably work fine - just being consistent is the trick. People in Atlanta love love love the "Moms on Call" books (the authors live in Atlanta and do house calls). I think I have every book known to man because I read them all while pregnant with my son, if you want me to mail any to you! Two of my employees at work did CIO and while controversial, they each said it took 2 nights, they never looked back and their children are both very smart, outgoing, normal - no anxiety, no killed brain cells, etc.

Big hugs and good luck!!
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