We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to email@example.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
I am in dire need of honest advice. I am absolutely at the end of my rope and burned out. Olivia is 7 months old now and really has never been a great sleeper except for the babymoon period right after she was born. As I mentioned before, I am pretty much a single parent, My husband is not involved in parenting much because he works 6-7 days a week. (2pm-3am M-F and 12-7 Sat and or Sun) I have been a SAHM for a month now and have tried desperately to get a routine going. It has failed miserably. Olivia has been all over the place with her sleeping. I'm not so much looking to her STTN yet (that would be awesome but also uncomfortable as I BF) but sleep at all would be amazing.
She has STTN probably about 2 weeks worth of nights off and on since she was born. I couldn't get her to nap during the day until fairly recently, about a month or so ago. Lately she has not been going down for bed until 10pm or later and will sleep until 3am and be up until 5 or 6 am (WANTING TO PLAY ) and will fall asleep for an hour or so then be up for the day with NO naps during the day.
I have tried the ferber method a month or so ago., and I really wasn't comfortable with it. I thought I could still nurse her to sleep just fine as she would sleep most if not through the night. Then it started tapering down to about 5-6 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. I don't see any evidence of teething and she isn't cranky. People comment constantly about how I have such a good baby. She's extremely mellow.
I don't have support from DH as he is gone most the time so CIO seems scary (and CRUEL) but I don't know what else to do. Olivia absolutely NEEDS more than 6 hours a sleep a day. I absolutely NEED at least a couple hours to myself a day, or a nap once and a while too!
I have established a bed time routine that has started at 7pm since about a month ago. It used to be done by 7:30 and she was in bed the first week or so. Now it is taking 4 HOURS to get her wound down for bed. The only thing that has marginally worked lately is nursing her. FOR 4 HOURS STRAIGHT. I think she's overly tired but I let her CIO for naps only to have her stop crying and start squealing and playing for an hour or so anyway.
I am frustrated, I am exhausted, and I don't know if I am being hypersensitive. Is it bad to let her CIO? I am worried I will teach her to fear her crib and I picture her all alone in her crib being scared in the middle of the night thinking I won't come to her if she cries.
How do you get your LO's to sleep and what time do they go to sleep? Any advice for me?
First off, lots of Mommies do the CIO method. I am not one of them. I just cannot stand to hear Kyah cry for a second. There is just no way I could let her CIO. However, it is a method that works for some people; it doesn't make you a bad Mommy! If you can handle it, then by all means do it so you can rest.
Kyah is a night owl. Lol. Seriously, she stays up late. Usually she goes to sleep about midnight. Sometimes that varies an hour either way. Just depends. Sometimes she is up until 3 am (that would be on the weekends when Dh wakes her up, or just doesn't let her sleep, GRRR).
Anyway, our routine consists of a warm bubble bath. Then get her jammies on. Then let her play for about 30 minutes or so while I get DH things ready for work (he works 3rd shift). Then about 11:00 I start off nursing her. That is often enough to put her to sleep. If it doesn't work, then I bounce her lightly in a rocking chair. Lol, yes bounce not rock (she doesn't allow the rocking unless she is pretty much asleep. Then I lay her in bed beside me (we co-sleep). At that point, I am pretty much stuck. If I so much as try to get up she wakes right up. I have to stay right beside her until morning. Not usually a problem because she usually puts me asleep, lol. I lay there thinking as soon as she is fully asleep I will attempt to get up and get on my laptop or play on my phone and end up falling asleep before that happens. I leave our fan on in my bedroom every night for the soft noise it provides. Without that on she wont sleep either.
So, I am probably not of much help. As you can see we sort of have a situation ourselves.
I'm curious....do you co-sleep? If you ever become desperate for sleep, you might try it for a night or two just to get some much needed rest. She will probably sleep soundly beside you.
Do you give her a warm bath as part of her bedtime routine? That always helps put baby to sleep.
Have you tried white noise? Maybe try leaving on a fan.
Hmmm....That's about all of the ideas I have right now!
That's just the thing with the CIO method we tried. (Ferber) I don't know who cried more, me or Olivia. I can't stand to let her cry. I have always been afraid to co-sleep with her. I'm afraid I will smother her. How do you keep Kyah from rolling off the bed? Olivia is a roller so I would be so afraid she would roll off and get hurt. I haven't done much research into co-sleeping. When she was a small baby, we would nap occasionally in bed together. I have tried to soothe her in our bed but she seems to get upset.
Sounds like we are kinda in the same boat michelle! lol. Olivia is a night owl too. I dont think she sleeps very well that way. (She'll skip naps during the day and wake up ridiculously early. Sometimes 5am!)
Yep our bedtime routine does include a bath. I bathe her and nurse her and she falls asleep while nursing. I used to be able to just lay her down in her crib right away and she would sleep for about 5 hours before waking up for milk. Now, the moment I lay her down, she snaps wide awake and it's back to nursing. This often repeats for up to 4 hours. Olivia LOVES baths. I love giving them to her. It's such fun.
She does have a fan in her room, it helps I think. We live in a very old building (it used to be the town's grocery store actually) and it has wood floors which are the creakiest squeakiest floors I have ever encountered. So pretty much after she goes to bed I am confined to the couch or my bedroom. ha!
I guess it seems like what used to work no longer does. aye aye aye..
Addie Grey has never been a good night time sleeper either, but she is a great napper. So, at least she does do that well. But, at night, she sometimes wakes up every 90 minutes all night long. I've tried cosleeping. In the beginning, it worked awesome. But, now, if I lay her beside me, she wakes up and starts 'talking' to me and rubbing my face. I think she likes her own 'space' now. I can't let her CIO either. I can't handle her crying for even a second during the day much less at night when we are both tired. We start our bedtime routine around 6:30-7 if we're at home and she's normally in bed by 7:30. IF she is going to go a long stretch for the night, it's always the first stretch. So, if she wakes up after an hour, I know I'm in for a long night. Last night, she slept for 4 hours the first stretch and the night before that it was a 5 hour stretch. Once she wakes up the first time, it's normally every 2 hours (or less) after that for the rest of the night. I'm a teacher and I also have 2 other children besides Addie Grey, so I'm basically a walking zombie. My DH does help during the night when I ask him to by giving her a bottle of expressed milk. But, I don't do that every night because I'm terrified my milk will dry up. Since we are apart all day, I feel like her nursing all night is what keeps my supply up (I do pump at work obviously). Anyway, not much help here, but wanted you to know you aren't alone in your exhaustion. However, your baby definitely needs more than 6 hours in a 24 hour period. At this point, she is most definitely over tired and it gets really difficult to get them settled once you are at that point. I was using an ocean sound in Addie Grey's room, but two nights ago, I started using a floor box fan and I put it as loud as it will go. That's been the two nights that we had a 4 and a 5 hour stretch, so maybe the loud white noise helped keep her asleep. It's so hard. But, I went through the same thing with my older two and now they are awesome sleepers, so I keep telling myself that it's just for a season. It WILL get better.
There's my book! Ha!
Matthew has become the same way recently to but I have found a tooth bud pokeing out this morning. He has always been a great sleeper and would STTN since he was like 3 weeks old. I haveno Iidea what his issue is now (minus the recent teething).
I would suggest the same as Michelle, warm bath with lavender (Johnson Johnson baby bedtime bath and lotion) works great. Try the co sleeping to I know that helps Matthew get back to sleep. I put him down in his crib and when he wakes up I bring him to bed with me and nurse him as he wants for a few more hours.
The white noise thing helps somethimes to. I would say as hard as it is to come up with a bedtime routine, do the same thing every night and see if that helps.
That sounds rough! Micah has never sttn and my dh works all the time too, so i feel your pain. I cosleep because honestly, i am just too lazy to keep getting out of bed during the night, haha. My first ds was the only one i tried any kind of sleep training with and i did cio because i thouht it's what i 'had' to do. My other four kids have slept with me as babies and even thouh they woke up every few hours i never really felt sleep deprived because i can quickly nurse them back to sleep without getting up. I know cosleeping isn't for everyone though.
Like i said, i did cio with my first ds and he is now 13 and not scarred by the experience . You have to be firm and consistent though, and it may take up to a week before they start sleeping better. Kyle took about 4 nights if i remember right.
It doesn't make it any better, but between 6-8 months of age most kiddos have a growth spurt and start waking more again. Also keep in mind it wont be like this forever! The other ladies had more advise than me obviously! lol
Sam's sleep has also been messed up recently. I think it is the rolling over and scooting he has learned how to do. However, I did do CIO with him and I do think it helped. It was pretty miserable during, but it was worth it because he started sleeping 8-9 hours each night. It took about 7 nights before he went down without crying. The longest he ever cried was about 20-30 minutes. I'm not sure I could have done it if he went longer than that. I also feel like the baby whisperer EASY routine helped when I was staying home--you can google and find forums for those books that help.