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Breastfeeding past one year...(vent)


Forum: July, August & September 2012 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By Jessimaaka
  • 2 Post By Sherry777
  • 3 Post By Blessed Mommy Of 5

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  #1  
September 23rd, 2013, 03:43 PM
Blessed Mommy Of 5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,056
Kyah turned one year old Sept 14. I am now being pressured to wean her. I admit, I haven't made much of an effort to wean her at this point. Unless you count offering her a sippy of whole milk a few times, which each time she wants nothing to do with it. My dh has made quite a few comments about how I really need to start weaning her, and how it shouldn't be too hard. He thinks I can just stop nursing her cold turkey, and offer her only cows milk and table food. I told him there is no way I would do that to her, and im sure she would starve. He had the nerve to say she will eat when she gets hungry enough. Im positive he did not think about what he said before saying that. She is our sweet baby girl, not an animal or pet. Our older kids have made several comments about how she shouldn't still be breastfeeding. They are kids, they don't know, so I try not to get upset about their comments. My husband's comments really upset me though. Kyah is a healthy baby that is thriving from breastfeeding, why should I try to make her stop? I love the closeness I get with her while nursing, I would miss that so much. Why is it even such a big deal to wean a baby at one year old? She doesn't eat enough regular food for me to even feel comfortable trying to wean her right now. The majority of her nutrition comes from nursing. Im really upset about this whole weaning situation. I nurse Kyah privately, no one evensees it unless they come in our bedroom, which only dh does while im nursing her. I just really do not think it's anyones business, they are my boobs. I dont want to hear comments about how she is too old now or too big now. No, imo she is not too old or too big. Who the heck decided one year old is the magic number to wean a baby!? Am I alone on this? Is anyone else getting comments about nursing past one year old?
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  #2  
September 23rd, 2013, 05:46 PM
Mom to Madeline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 3,201
Whether or not you wean is your decision and do what you're comfortable with...no judgments here. But, I bet when you do wean, she will pick up the amount of solids she eats and she will eventually take the whole milk.

While it's not easy, I'd suggest slowly cutting back the number of feedings when you're ready to wean and give a replacement of whole milk for each session you wean. But, if you do this, you can't give in and BF if she refuses to drink the milk.

Best of luck in whatever you decide. I'm sure it's not an easy decision!
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  #3  
September 23rd, 2013, 06:37 PM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Show him the benefits of what you are providing to her, I like kellymom. http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

It is recommended by I believe WHO to go to 2 years.

Sherry (Sherry777) has tons of info on this...hopefully she checks in!

And she may start dropping feeds on her own...Cam did, we're down to basically 2 sometimes 3 times overnight, he dropped his before bed feed this week (well, this is day 4 of him not interested), and he dropped his first thing in the morning session about 3 weeks ago.
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  #4  
September 23rd, 2013, 07:36 PM
MosaicWife's Avatar Missa
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4,738
He sounds like he needs educating so gently explain your reasons and the WHO recommendations. If he's still being rude ask him why he feels that way. If he's still being rude then tell him it's none if his business. Paxton is almost 14 months old and still BF. he's cut back significantly in the past month, only nursing before his naps and at night but I have no plans to wean. He'll wean when he's ready.
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  #5  
September 23rd, 2013, 08:55 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: MO
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Yeah, today dh told me that I needed to start weaning him. Not cold turkey but gradually. That he was getting too big to bf. This is my 3rd baby to bf. I don't think I need him telling me when or how to wean! I could have smacked him! I don't know why dh is worrying about it. He never said a word when I bf dd's #2&3. I don't know if it is because Luke is a boy or because he is bigger than his sisters at this age by 5lb or what.

I don't bf in private at home. If we have company I will cover up (sometimes). If I am out in public I will find an out of the way place and cover up (sometimes). At home with my dh & kids, no.

Luke is 13 months old tomorrow and I have no plans to actively try weaning until after Christmas (maybe). He will be 16 months by then. We will see how it goes. He has just started drinking milk from a sippy cup. It is still pretty sporadic so bf is his main source of liquid. I've noticed that during the past 2 wks he has cut back on bf'ing on his own.
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  #6  
September 24th, 2013, 04:37 AM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I wish we could have gone till 15 months like my other kids... I would take your time, she is healthy and happy.
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  #7  
September 24th, 2013, 04:46 AM
MosaicWife's Avatar Missa
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Location: Virginia
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I don't know why some guys think they have a say in something like that but I've definitely heard this story a lot. I don't know if they feel embarrassed, or left out, or something. DH has been pretty great in saying that he knows it's important and it's not forever and one day we'll be "back to normal" so he can wait. But that's because we haven't been able to leave the kids and we co-sleep. But really it's not anybody's decision but the mother and child.
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  #8  
September 24th, 2013, 07:10 AM
Sherry777's Avatar Blessed Mommy
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Location: Memphis, TN
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I am so sorry that you are having to defend the fact that you are breastfeeding. You are not only providing the only perfect food for your baby, but you are giving her life-long immunities and are strengthening her entire immune system. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until at least the age of two!

First of all, stopping abruptly could cause emotional damage to her. It is not just about food; it is about the mother-daughter connection, that bond, that closeness and her need for you. She nurses for comfort and love, not just nourishment. To just cut that off without warning and without it being her choice could really impact her negatively. Explain that to your husband. Surely, he wants the best for her as well.

As far as whole milk, there are so many harmful and dangerous things in it. Unless you buy raw milk from a farm or organic milk that has not been ultra-pasteurized, that milk contains dangerous growth hormones and antibiotics. Also, there is an acceptable level of blood and pus allowed by the FDA in milk. Seriously, your husband wants that for her instead of your perfect milk? He needs more information and research before he tries to force you to wean. It sounds to me like he is making an uninformed decision.

Some people find it unacceptable or even sexual to breastfeed past a certain age. That is narrow-minded thinking. Stand your ground.

I plan to wean when Pippa wants to wean, even if she is 3. I get comments from co-workers, my parents, and even strangers. However, those things do not impact me. I know what is best. Stand your ground!
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  #9  
September 24th, 2013, 09:22 AM
acmd03's Avatar Lincoln's Mommy
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I weaned around 12 months, but that was just what was right for us, so I don't know how it feels to get those comments. I do think a lot of men only see breastfeeding as nutrition. They don't understand the emotional connection it brings, especially when the baby is exclusively breastfed so he would have had few, if any, opportunities to feed the baby himself. I had to explain to my hubby several times while I was breastfeeding why it was important to me to keep going, even though I hated it.

As for the cow's milk, my son didn't want anything to do with it at first, either. He loved drinking water, but wouldn't touch milk. Apparently breast milk is on the sweet side while cow's milk isn't, so it's a big change when they're used to breast milk. When we weaned, I had to make sure he had a lot of other sources of calcium for a few weeks until he eventually started drinking it (and LOVES it now!). When the time is right for you to wean, you'll figure out how to get her interested in the things she'll need.
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  #10  
September 25th, 2013, 02:24 PM
Blessed Mommy Of 5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,056
Thank you so much for the support and advice ladies! I really appreciate it. I decided to go ahead and talk to dh about how bm is best for baby and even though she is one year old, she is still greatly benefiting from it. He wasn't all that impressed and still feels like she needs to be on cow's milk. But, he did agree not to make any more comments or try to push me into weaning for now. She will wean herself when she is ready, and that's what I have decided.

Thank you all again! It's nice to have positive support
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  #11  
September 25th, 2013, 11:54 PM
jojo2bee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Colorado
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I'm glad you talked to DH and he won't make comments anymore. Kyah is a beautiful healthy baby girl and if your both not ready to wean then that's that! I wish you the best hun and remember your doing what's best for you and your sweet little girl!
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  #12  
September 30th, 2013, 12:23 PM
curlygirl77's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The UK
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Everything that Sherry said!

I plan on breastfeeding Micah as long as she wants. I don't give a flying rat's patoot what anyone else says
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