[Blessed Mommy Of 5]

Will your DH/SO be staying overnight at the hospital with you?



My DH actually suggested that he could stay home with the kids overnight while I stay at the hospital alone

That hurt my feelings. There is absolutely no way I am going for that! DH has always stayed overnight at the hospital with me when we had our babies. Anyway, I have got to establish a babysitter for the kids and asap. We do not have anyone that can watch them. I am not even sure where to start as far as finding someone. DH does not think our 15 yr old is ready to watch her siblings overnight. They are 10, 11, 13, and 15. And my 13 yr old will be 14 on July 10. They are very mature for their age and I think they would do fine, but DH doesn't agree. They have stayed home while we have made trips to the store before but never any longer than maybe 2 hours if that.

[2Reasons2Smile]

Ethan my oldest was born around supper time and dh went home around 10 or 11pm to sleep I was in a semi private room and there was no where for him to sleep. Brennan was born at almost midnight and dh stayed till we were settled in our room this time a private one but he still came home once I was comfortable. So that said if we end up at the hospital from our homebirth not working out dh will probably come home but since we have a midwife as long as everything is ok baby and I will be coming home with him as well. I am trying to avoid a hospital stay.

With the ages of your kids and the fact your saying they are mature for their ages I would also feel ok with the oldest "watching" the younger ones for one night.

[morethanamom4]

I think I'd be okay leaving the older two home, but probably not to watch the younger two. However, that's just me.

DH will be staying with me at the hospital. But if for some reason our childcare doesn't work out, I wouldn't mind him going home with the girls.

[proudmomtoEthan]

Dh stayed with me and ds but he was our first. I do have someone to watch ds but I am going to let dh go home at night and see how I do. One of us needs good sleep before baby and I get home,lol.

I could totally change my mind when te time comes tho.

[jojo2bee]

DH will be staying with me. It's also our first baby so he better be staying with me.

[amf4976]

We are having the same conversation. I think we are going to let our oldest two be in charge and maybe depend on friends to come by for the busy times of the day and help out for an hour or so (like dinner time and bedtime).
I have always treasured the time Dh and I spend alone in the hospital with our newborn. With a large family, it's the only time we get before things get crazy. Usually he goes home the morning after baby is born to check things with the kids, make arrangements for that night, feed pets, cook for the kids ect. Then he comes back up to the hospital for the second night and stays with me. If necessary, he could stay home the second night but I really like him staying with me. We've been fortunate to have a family friend who came to stay for the last few babies.
This time though, our oldest kids will be 17 and 15- they are boys but they generally do a good job with their younger siblings. I'm really thinking of just letting the older kids be in charge and have DH come by to check on them a couple times and maybe have a couple family friends on standby to swing by and maybe help with busy times like getting the littles to bed and dinner time or such or maybe with getting the kids off to school in the morning if its during the school week....we aren't sure yet but I think that's the route we are going to go.

[3Sapphires]

no, We've never had that luxury. Even with our first, DH had to go home at night to care for the dogs and put in a half day at work. He would spend the afternoon with us, then go back home to let the dogs out.

This time, we aren't sure we are going to be able to secure a baby sitter, at all - even the day I am in labor/deliver, let alone the day or so afterward. Siblings can visit after 3 pm, so DH will probably get Adam off to school and then spend the day with Nate until Adam gets home, then come out to see us.

This is just something we are used to, he was never even able to take time off from work, he had to go back to work the day after I got home. Luckily with Nate, I was discharged on a saturday, so we had sunday together. But with Adam I was discharged monday night, and he went to work tuesday morning.

[amf4976]

Ami,
Have you considered looking to see if there are any post partum doulas in your area? Like with birth doulas, some of them may be in the certification phase of their training (meaning they've had the training but need the experience still to be certified). Sometimes doula's offer free services to get the needed experience. I wonder if you could find a post partum doula willing to be with your other kids while you are in labor/childbirth, either at your home or if you are not comfortable with that, even at the hospital in the waiting area. You could pack snacks, toys, movie ect. If they were in the waiting area, Dh could pop in and out to check on them (not optimal, I know, but better than Dh missing everything). Then after discharge, the post partum doula could come by the house to give you a hand with the older boys when DH is at work for those first couple days. I dunno...maybe worth a shot since you don't have family to depend on....

ETA...do you have neighbors with young children? Is it possbile to arrange to watch their little ones a couple times over the next few weeks so they can have a couple of date nights, in exhange for them being on call to watch yours when you deliver? Just a thought...I don't know how well you know your neighbors or if they are trustworthy....

[Starstrydergrrl]

It is easy for us, the men folk aren't allowed to sleep over in the hospital room lol. They can of course park off all night in the waiting room if they are so inclined. I guess it would be different if you went for a private suite but the medical aid (insurance) doesn't cover that. So I will probably be sharing with one other person unless the maternity ward is pretty empty that day.

Besides, I think Kenny will freak out if both of us stayed at the hospital with the baby and he had to stay with his aunt overnight.

[Rinchan]

Because this is our first, my husband will be staying with me at the hospital over night. When he whines about how comfortable his "bed" is, I'm going to remind him that I was the one who pushed out a baby.

[DaniM0820]

DH will definitely be with me overnight. The only time he will be allowed to leave is when my parents are visiting, and that won't be until after Jordan is born

Fortunately we live basically across the street from the hospital, so after labor is over and baby is out, DH will be able to go home, take care of the dogs, change, eat, etc then come back to me

[RunningMommyTo3]

Yes, DH has with all of our boys and will stay with me at night, too. I will be having a c-section, so I really need that extra help until I go home. I feel more comfortable having him there with me to help out, and he wants to be there!

[mommysoon]

I'm not sure. With DD1, he stayed the first night and I sent him home to get some decent rest the second night. With DD2, he stayed the entire time, with the exception of about two hours when he and our moms took DD1 out to eat.
This time, I really think it will depend on our childcare situation. If, for some reason, my mom can't spend the night, then I think he will probably stay the first night (I have several friends lined up to help) and then go get the girls and they will all hang out with me as long as the kids are allowed to stay.

[AmyT]

DH will be staying overnight with me. The kids will probably stay at MIL's house while we are in the hospital. We only live 5 minutes from the hospital (and so does MIL) so the kids will be allowed to come and visit, and DH will go home to let the pets in and out a couple times a day, but he will stay with me and baby overnight.

[Angelamomtomany]

DH will come home at night. Mostly for our 2 yr old. The only time he spent the night at the hospital was with our first.

[Kris2you]

Yes he will. I will be having a c-section, so I am definitely going to need his help. Our kiddos will be spending the the time I am in the hospital with my sister and their cousins. So they are beyond thrilled at the big "sleep over" that is going to happen lol. In the mornings, my sister will take my son and niece to school and then dh will come and get dd (2) so she can come see mama, daddy and baby brother. Thankfully dh is in the military, so while I am in the hospital he will be off and when we get home, he will start his paternity leave.

[amazing_love]

I would say your kids could probably manage pretty well at their age but if your DH feels more comfortable finding someone then i would think it would be fairly easy since there wouldn't be much work involved, mostly just supervising everything to make sure it goes smoothly. If it was me i'd probably prefer this just so i have that extra peace of mind but i'm also a control freak, haha!

Yes my DH will most likely be with me the entire time from labor until we bring Kylie home. Since we will be delivering at a birthing center the stay afterwards is not as long, it averages about 3-5 hours. Most everything will depend on the time of day i go into labor but if it happens at night then we will have a family member come over to watch him and pray it goes well since we've never done that before

Originally Posted by Starstrydergrrl

It is easy for us, the men folk aren't allowed to sleep over in the hospital room lol. They can of course park off all night in the waiting room if they are so inclined. I guess it would be different if you went for a private suite but the medical aid (insurance) doesn't cover that. So I will probably be sharing with one other person unless the maternity ward is pretty empty that day.

Seriously? This boggles my mind as i've never heard of men not being allowed to stay in the hospital rooms overnight. What is their reasoning? I can't seem to wrap my mind around it!

[Moldovandish]

I'd like for DH to stay with me, at least the first night, but I don't really trust anyone around here with DD's care more than him, so if everything goes well with labor an delivery and I can move around on my own, I'll send him home to take care of her. With her night terrors and such I'll be more at peace if he's with her. Otherwise I'm sure MIL wouldn't mind watching her for a night, but I'd be more worried if that's the case.

[Starstrydergrrl]

Different country so different rules I guess. lol honestly unless you have a private suite you are sharing with at least one other person. So the reasoning (I did phone and find out today) is that mommies and babies need rest, the nurses will happily take care of the baby in the nursery overnight if you want but under no circumstances is the father allowed to sleep over.

Of course up until the baby is born the father stays with the mom but once born the norm is for the dad to go home eventually. So once out of the birthing suite and into a more normal shared hospital environment slightly more regular hours apply.

She did say things work differently for the people willing to pay for a private suite. But since "upgrading" is almost $150 extra people don't all that often go for it. But it really comes down to that whole "shared" room thing, they are afraid one set of parents would disrupt another set etc.

[amazing_love]

Okay i guess that makes sense since you're sharing the room. I forget that different places have very different ways of doing things. Very interesting