Going crazy

Rinchan · #1 July 11th, 2012, 04:05 PM

Some venting here.

Back in may, the company I worked for shut down. I also quit another job where I was working because they wouldn't take any safety concerns that I had seriously. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal because my husband and I for the most part live frugally and are finances were fine. I also wanted to stay at home at least for the first six months after the baby arrives and I figured I could use these next few months to prepare for the baby.

Well I'm going crazy. There are days when I have very little human contact. And I've been getting bored. I look for things to clean or fix up but sometimes there is nothing. So I go online and read some mommy blogs, and of course, some of those make me feel guilty for some of my choices. I wonder if I need to buy myself something nice but I don't want to needlessly spend money or gas.

Lately, my husband has had to work late because they have to get some machine finished by the end of July. There have been nights where he hasn't gotten home until after midnight, which can sometimes mean an entire day of no human contact.

My friend and I go out on Tuesday nights because the theater is cheap. But there are four other nights when I want to go crazy. I sometimes see my other friends but they all have steady jobs and are often too tired to hang out after work.

My mom is often no help. She promises to do stuff with me but then something always comes up. Either one of her friend's needs her and she can never say no to anyone. If I bring this up or complain she tells me to stop being selfish.

I'm worried that this is all leading to prenatal depression. I find my self worrying during the day about all the things that I could be doing wrong during the pregnancy including some minor not very big deal things.

We don't have cable right now and are just using netflix. We didn't want to spend the money but I'm wondering if having it installed would help out because it would sort of be a connection to the rest of the world.

For anyone that is a stay at home mom, do you ever have this problem? How do you combat this? Should I plan on looking for a job soon after the baby is born? Do you think I should seek help?

3Sapphires · #2 July 11th, 2012, 05:05 PM

I think it is normal to go stir crazy - I have been a SAHM for 6 years and some days are really hard. I don't get to talk to anyone, or go anywhere.

And I get insanely jealous of DH who gets to get out of the house all day, and usually has activities planned on weekends.

No adult interaction is very difficult. *hugs*

Blessed Mommy Of 5 · #3 July 11th, 2012, 05:08 PM

**hugs** I'm sorry! I often feel like I have little or no contact with other adults. I do have my children here, and they are a lot of fun, but it is totally different from having adult conversations. DH works 3rd shift and sleeps during the day. He naps a lot in the evenings as well and we just don't get a lot of together time. I rely on our group a lot for support and the feeling of having contact with other adults. I love this group and it has helped me a lot!!! I wish I had more suggestions for you. Maybe after baby is born you could join a local mommy group. They often get together for socialization and fun!! Plus the babies get "play dates"

WNDYERC08 · #4 July 11th, 2012, 05:35 PM

Hugs I am sorry you are going through this. I am starting to go a little crazy being with kids 24 7 and with the summer dh does alot of overtime so sometimes we dont see him for days. We got rid of cable but we have a roku box. That might be something for you if you dont want to pay for cable every month. If you think it would help talk to someone. Hope this get better soon.

amf4976 · #5 July 11th, 2012, 05:38 PM

yes, I do feel like that sometimes. I LOVE being at home with my kids and wouldn't trade it but sometimes I wish I could have more adult interaction that didn't include a ton of kids interupting every second and needing something every minute.
I feel strongly about being home with them, so I wouldn't change it. I've always felt (for me) that I didn't have my kids in order for them to spend the majority of their waking hours being cared for by someone else, at least not until they started school, so DH works as much as he needs to rather than us both working, plus with so many daycare wouldn't be cost efficient at all and I'd probably lose money working rather than making anything! Still sometimes I feel that a part time job would be a good compromise so DH could work while I was at home and then we could switch. I guess it would suck on family time but it sort of does already right now anyhow....

My husband is currently working three jobs (only three for a month, then back to two...one is a summer school position which is pretty short term). That means he leaves at 6:30a.m and returns around 9:00pm and still has paperwork and IEP stuff to do after that and some on the weekends too. I feel very overwhelmed with all ten kids on my own, but I know he is sacrificing so much for us right now, that I can't complain.
For me the biggest drawbacks to being at home alone with the kids are that the days can get very monotonous. I keep the house clean, keep up with the laundry, keep the kids well fed and bathed but sometimes it seems like just an endless rote routine that just replays over and over. It's tough to get out and do things with friends b/c the few friends I would ever hang out with are 1)my neighbor but she has 6 of her own, so when we hang out that makes 16 kids. It makes it sort of tough to have a decent conversation! Neither of us have much extra money and both of us have hubbys who are working like crazy so it sort of makes us both feel guilty and wasteful to spend money going out. I feel like the whole point of DH working this much is to get us into a better financial position by the end of the year, so I don't want to be wasteful with the money he makes. The other friend I do occasionally go out with is actually my midwife but as you can imagine between my kids and her work schedule, it's tough to coordinate sometimes. We have taken to the habit of making my prenatal visit her very last appt on Tuesday's and then I actually don't go in until about an hour past the appt time. That gives her a chance to catch up with all her patients and then we do my prenatal and go grab some dinner somewhere cheap and easy. I only do it once a month or so but it is so nice and so needed.
I also find that as much as I love spending time with the kids, my patience runs thin by the end of the night and I'm just ready to be done well before my tasks for the night are complete. I try to take breaks and come on JM when I feel like I'm getting stressed out but it just seems like there is always something that needs done or a child who needs something urgently. LIke right now, Sydney is sititng at the foot of my bed whining b/c she can't swaddle her baby doll and wants me to do it for her.

proudmomtoEthan · #6 July 11th, 2012, 06:16 PM

I have not worked since I was 20 and it can make you stir crazy. I have not found the solution to help either. Once I had ds it gave me extra stuff to do but didn't take away the feeling of going crazy being home all day.

Dh is a computer nerd and spends most his time on there, so I still lack adult talk some days.

I think it is normal to feel the way you do. Maybe do a week day date with dh when possible?

Rinchan · #7 July 11th, 2012, 11:33 PM

I love this place. Earlier in my pregnancy I was posting on another mommy site and in one of my threads I described that I was stressed out because I was pregnant after a loss. So many women jumped on my and scolded me on how I was hurting my unborn child. And needless to say, that did not help my stress levels!

I love that this place is much less judgemental!