[smashley8]

BTDT moms, what do you do for each holiday to ensure that it's fair for both your and husband's family?

First time moms, do you have a plan for holidays yet?

I know that this is something we need to start thinking about now. We already had some drama last year at Thanksgiving and a baby wasn't involved then... so it's even more necessary come September!

[3Sapphires]

before kids and before my family moved away we would alternate thanksgivings, then do Christmas Eve with his family and Christmas Day with mine. Easter was never a holiday that we did much on.

my family moved 900 miles away, so uh, they don't get much holiday time.

We continued to do Christmas eve with his family, but I started hosting thanksgiving for my best friend's family.

Now that I am in the choir at church, and my inlaws refuse to have chrsitmas dinner earlier in the day, we don't see them at all for Christmas.

WE try to see them a few weeks after Chrsitmas, but I'm at the point of not really caring anymore. They don't show up or send gifts for the boys birthdays, so why should I put any effort in to them.

[morethanamom4]

We usually do Thanksgiving with Dh's family, but this last year we did it at home just us. Christmas we usually have a big family thing with DH's extended family the weekend before Christmas, and then a small one with just his parents and siblings either that night or the weekend after Christmas. We do Christmas Eve with my dad and that side of the family (reallllly small because my dad doesn't have much family). Then we're home Christmas morning until early afternoon. We go to my mom's/gram's after that for a big family dinner and come home that night after we do a yankee swap.

There's always family drama at my mom's house with her siblings or my cousins and we try to leave before it gets to that point lol.

[MrsTiffy]

It will be fair because we aren't going to anyone's house. Lol. We never go visit for the holidays. They all know if they want to see us for the holidays then they will have to come to us. They all live in Indiana and we live in Florida, so it isn't exactly easy to go visit.

[Repti.Mom]

Easy, DH has no parents. I've never even met them, so we don't visit them. Never will.

[InnocentDevil]

Thanksgiving is at my house. We invite both sides of the family. Everyone gets along and we have plenty of room.

We spend Christmas Eve with my father's side of the family. and Christmas Day (in the evening) with Tristan's family. We get together with my mom's side the week before or after Christmas.

[Mrs_Crystal_K]

We have ZERO contact with DH's psycho family, so we don't have to worry about splitting holiday time haha

My mom hosts all the big holidays at her house; Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.

Christmas Eve is always homemade pizza at mom's.

Christmas morning I'll make a yummy breakfast at home for DH and I and yummy formula for Isaac (we won't have my step-daughter on Christmas day this year). Then we'll open presents and just relax. Christmas dinner will be at mom's.

[Sprinkle 2010]

I used to host Thanksgiving for both families at our house. The first few years it was really fun. I even somehow managed to have everyone into town 2 weeks after DD1 was born. Never again! It really wasn't that bad, but feel like DH and MIL thought it was completely normal that I should be hosting 11 people for the extended weekend 2 weeks post partum.

Christmas we divide up. Luckily both families live a few miles apart. We do DH family on the 23rd/24th, then get to spend Christmas Eve/ morning with my family. This year much will depend on where we are living. If we end up having to move several hours away I may want to stay home! Lol! But I know that won't fly!

[MJTKNT]

Well, I don't talk to my dad- so we don't worry about trying to figure things out with him.

My mom lives 30 miles from us, and we see all of my family pretty often, so usually we arrange time with DH's family when DH can get vacation time, and we'll do a meal or something with my family when DH isn't on vacation. It works out as everyone's pretty understanding and flexible.

[Mommy to 3 boys]

Thanksgiving is usually done at our house and so any family that wants to come, can. DH's parents never visit so this year we have said we will go to my parents house (which they are super excited about). For Christmas, we wont go anywhere until the kids are older and have made a deal that no family is allowed to be here Christmas morning because that is our time with the kids. Certain holidays aren't big with the family so it doesn't matter where we are. For the past two years we went to FL for Easter but that was just how it worked out... we don't go because of DH's parents or for Easter, we go for Disney and we have to work around school breaks. DH actually said that next time we go to FL, we might not see his parents at all... although he was mad at them at the time so we will see if that happens lol.

[Blue_Twinkles]

I moved down here 6 years ago to be with my DH (then boyfriend) so I have absolutely no family around here. His family is huge and they all love me and accepted me. We see many of DH's family members on a regular basis. My family lives 3 hours away, is extremely small and when we go to visit, we will see my mom, sister and her son, grandfather, and once in a great moon - my paternal grandmother. No one on my side of the family does holidays anymore. My sister spends her holidays with her husbands family and I do the same. My mom prefers to spend her holidays with her partner. It used to bother me but I got over it. I've embraced DH's family and they are big on tradition and holidays so we always have a blast with them. So there is no conflict for us between families and holidays. I still try to make it for one or two days during the holidays to see my family but if I just can't make it, it's not a big deal.

[Lyz]

ugh...holidays! Both of our parents are divorced and remarried so it gets to be hectic.

Thanksgiving is at my house and we invite both sides of the family (usually end up with 30-35 people here). It's fun

Christmas Eve we go to church and then to my FILs for dinner and gifts. Christmas morning is at my MILs, then to my dads house, then my sister hosts Christmas dinner at her house where my mom is (thankfully my dads house is 2 streets over and my sister is 4 houses away).

Once Jackson is 2, we are not going to go anywhere Christmas morning and enjoying our kids opening presents and playing with them. If family wants to come over in the late morning, that's fine but I'm about over running around!!

[Blessed Mommy Of 5]

We always do holidays at our house. The only family we live near now is DH's mother. She is invited to our house and if she doesn't make it, we stop by her house for a little while.

[2Reasons2Smile]

Even before kids we would switch back and forth example 2005 christmas day with my family 2006 christmas day with dh's family etc.. now dh's family is not concerned on having holidays right on the specific day so we tend to end up with my family and do something in or around the holiday for dh's family. Part of why dh's family is not as concerned is mil passed away nov 2008 and she was the reason we made sure to spend holidays with her now that she has passed on fil is not as strict nor is my sil.

[DaniM0820]

We do not talk to DH's family other than his grandmother. His parents live in Arizona and we live in PA; his g-ma is in Missouri, so the only ones we could see are my side of the family.

My grandmother and mom's side of the family does Thanksgiving. Christmas Eve/Day is at my parents' house, though after Jordan is a little older and able to enjoy opening presents and whatnot, we will not be going anywhere on Christmas Day. I always loved that we stayed home on Christmas when I was younger, I would hate to have my kids open their gifts and then have to take them to someone else's house where they can't even play with them. My parents will definitely be invited to our house Christmas morning, though.

We have our "family" Christmas with my mom's side of the family New Years weekend. Easter is also with my mom's side of the family. My dad's side of the family lives 6+ hours away so we don't do holidays with them (especially since they get awful snow storms in the winter), but we do go visit every summer.

[smashley8]

My husband will be working on Thanksgiving this year so I will probably skip my original idea of hosting at our house and just go wherever my family is having theirs. He's also working on Christmas but he doesn't go in until later and he has the 2 days off before, so we will probably do Christmas Eve with his family, Christmas morning at our house and then I'll head to my mom's with the baby for a few days. With his schedule I think we're probably just gonna have to wing it except for when he has the holiday off, we'll plan ahead so nobody can whine... lol.

[LovesTheRain]

Both of our families live in town, so we have to go to both sides on Thanksgiving and Christmas. We usually do lunch with one; dinner with the other, and then switch the next holiday. Lunch with the other one; dinner with the other. It's very busy, lots of traveling back and forth, and we're very full and tired by the time we get back home. I would LOVE to host at my new house, so everyone can come to us. We'll finally have the room to be able to do it, and I think it would be so much fun! Maybe not this year, but definitely next.

[karenwalter]

We do Thanksgiving with DH's side and Christmas with mine. We agreed on this before we got married so it made it easy.

On Christmas I think we are going to try to have more time at home by ourselves this coming year. It ends up being too much running around and isn't enjoyable. I wnt to have some of our own traditions with our kids and our own little family too. Luckily my parents are pretty flexible.

[YumPickles]

Since your baby will be a newborn, and you are new (exhausted) parents, you have a great advantage here if you want to take it. You can tell your families that, as this is your first round of holidays with your baby, they are welcome to stop by your house, but you won't be making trips out. Most reasonable family members will understand.

[momma_d]

Last year we went to CA for Christmas and I don't even want to do that again, I felt like DD got ripped bc we had to get small presents we could travel with

So this year, I've already told Brian that I'm not going anywhere on the actual holidays, and if his mom wants to see us she can come here and visit or pay for us to come before or after Christmas if she wants us there, because frankly I don't want to go anywhere, nor do I feel like paying for a trip I don't even want to take! LOL

My family has always been layed back about it, my parents are divorced so I avoid going home for holidays like it's the plague bc I hate having to divide up my time bc my dad can't be civil around my mom and it's really uncomfortable.