I had an elective induction scheduled for Valentine's Day
♥, about 4 days shy of my due date. I went in at 5:15 that morning, and I was already 2 cm. Within minutes of the pit drip being started, I started having good contractions. I asked for the epi very soon after to be able to not have to feel the REAL pain after they broke my water.
This is where the epidural nightmare started. It's a whole other story, but let me just say that out of the two anesthesiologists that I got, I had my least favorite doing my epidural. I was already passing out from some phenergan in my IV so I didn't really notice that my legs were NOT getting any kind of heavy. Woke up 30 minutes later in full blown labor.
Anesthesiologist comes back, shoves more medicine into me, decides he needs a redo. "This is very unusual. There is no indication it is not working... You seem stoic enough."
"Dude, I've broken bones without making a peep. There's another. Check the monitor. Actually, you know what? I don't see this going good places. Where's my doctor? I think I need that cesarean."
So he takes off the bandage. My back feels like it was just waxed. Redoes the epidural. Both legs get heavy, pain vanishes. A nurse comes in a few minutes later and makes the brilliant suggestion that I need to be on my left side. Roll over, all of the sudden I hardly feel my left side, but I am definitely feeling my right! "Epidural failed. Can you call the guy back? No really. There's one, check the monitor! No, not pressure. It's a sharp pain. Yes, it really hurts..."
Anesthesiologist comes back. "Roll to your right for a bit. Here's more medicine... Tell me if you feel the next one. OK... Do you feel the next one? Was it better? No? How about this one? OK, sit up." Rips off the bandage, starts poking me again.
My legs go completely numb at this point, so much that I can't move them. But guess what wasn't numb? All of my privates and uterus. I convinced myself this was just the "pressure" they said wouldn't disappear. Only this pressure is getting worse and achy and sharp. Numbness in my legs quickly wore off. I keep calling the nurse complaining about pressure. "Let's go, the kid's ready!"
So the third time I complain about the pressure they go ahead and set up the room. "She's still pretty high, Arwen, you might have to work to get her down." One push later she was entering the birth canal, and I decided I needed some morphine. The doctor didn't think I was feeling pain. She thought I was misunderstanding pressure. Holy crap. How do women want to do this more than once naturally?
Got to feel everything you read about, ring of fire, etc. Felt the head emerge, felt the body slither out, and I screamed my head off the entire time. Everyone kept telling me I was "doing so good! Pushpushpushpushpush! There she is! Awww! A double chin!"
I told them to clean her up, "James, don't you dare take a picture of her covered in gore," (too late...)
I was sitting up for the birth, like almost in a squat position. This position does not make it easier to give birth IMHO! Since I was sitting up, I got to watch my doctor work on me. Placenta didn't want to come out so she was mashing on me. Ow. I asked to see it when she was done, and she promised I could. She decided to leave it for a while since it was stubborn, and got to cleaning me up. Felt like a snake dangling out my vajayjay.
I see her reach for the stitches. "Aww, dang, I need stitches?! Can I have a shot of something first?" At this point, they still don't understand that I was feeling pain so when she started, she said, "Oh, you're feeling the stitches. That epidural really did wear off! This isn't bad, just a second degree tear." A nurse asked where. "In the vagina."
"Really?!"
"It's not bad."
Just 7 stitches. I counted. Then she cleans up more, reaches for the needle and thread again. "Finishing up?"
"No... there's a small tear on the labia. Not even a tear, just an abrasion."
"How did THAT rip?!"
"lol It's not bad."
Just another 3 stitches. I counted! Cleans more, reaches for the stitches AGAIN. "REALLY?!" Just 1 stitch this time. Ouch. More mashing on my tummy. Ouch! One big contraction, placenta thumps out looking like a piece of raw liver stuck to a bag. "Gross!!! Oh, the bag part is at least prettier. I like that Winter had the room with the view." Then I kid you not, my doctor fisted me. "Holy crap, what are you doing?"
"Getting the clots out. All done!" Thumps an ice pack down. "She's so beautiful! Congratulations! I love her double chin! I saw it as soon as she came out. You did so good!" (She must not have been in the same room I delivered in...lol) More pleasantries were exchanged, and they all cleared out to let us do bonding.
"Honey, I never thought my doctor would fist me before we got far enough into our marriage to experiment."
"I saw your vagina. It looks like a massacre. I thought you were going to go super saiyan."
"Me, too! I thought for sure I'd come out of this blonde with a monkey tail! My hands are completely numb. Can you put her face to my boob for me?"
My hands had swollen up so badly during labor. I couldn't touch the sides of my fingertips to each other. Everything was swollen. I'm still peeing like a pregnant woman because I am getting rid of swelling. lol I walked myself to my recovery room. Bonding with her is a lot slower than with Alice. She's doing great with nursing, though. She hates diaper changes and baths.
I got a bathtub in the room! Took a bath about 5 minutes of walking myself in there.
♥
Name: Winter Rose
DOB: 2/14/12
Time: 6:42 P.M.
Length: 20"
Weight: 7 lbs 13 oz
Head: 13.75"
Scores: 9 & 9
Blood Type: O- (poor baby has that Rh factor to deal with!)
Nurses and orderlies kept coming by because they were talking about her being "so pretty." I still see a little old man kinda resembling my FIL. lol My anesthesiologist didn't know the final epi failed. He came by talking about "hearing me being nice and comfortable finally." lol I told him he did nothing wrong. My epidural failed with my daughter as well. Took for about 45 minutes and wore off. I now know that it didn't COMPLETELY wear off before delivery. I can definitely tell the difference of those two births. lol
If you actually managed to hang in through this whole thing, thanks for reading!
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