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I am a mess *update post 13*


Forum: October 2012 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By Mrs.Paradise
  • 1 Post By bryan and nina
  • 1 Post By KMH
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  #1  
February 15th, 2012, 11:24 AM
KMH KMH is offline
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I'm tempted to not even type this, but I'm secretly hoping that someone else is as crazy as I am so I don't feel so bad.

As you know, I have had some spotting over the weekend. I have not had any red blood since Saturday, just old brown leftovers. I still have all my pregnancy symptoms, so that is a little comforting.

I have been peeing on sticks still (just internet cheapies) and I swear this morning's test looked slightly lighter than yesterdays. I know logically that there are a thousand reasons for this (urine not as concentrated, different batch of tests, these are crappy tests, etc) but I freaked out anyway.

I NEEDED some FRERs. So I drove to the grocery store only to find out that they were out of HPTs. All of them. Completely empty shelves Having already left the house in a rush and feeling crazier than ever, I drove to Walgreens and bought two boxes of FRERs. On the way home, DD tells me she is hungry, so in my rush to get home and POAS, we stop at Taco Bell to grab some lunch.

Once home, I portion out some chicken soft taco for the little one and go pee on a stick. Test line is darker than the control line as expected.

So, after driving 35 miles, spending $35, feeding my child a crappy lunch, and wasting time...I have proven absolutely nothing to myself (except that I'm a lunatic). That silly test doesn't tell me if I have a healthy bean. It doesn't tell me if I'm going to miscarry. It doesn't tell me if the bleeding last weekend was a bad sign. Nothing. I feel half-crazy and like a bad Mom...why can't I just relax and wait until the ultrasound on Friday? That is the only way to know anything for sure.

If you have made it this far, thanks for reading. Please send me some sanity-dust if you have any available. I cannot wait until Friday morning so I have a little clarity about what is going on in my uterus...this "in-limbo" situation is going to do me in!
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Last edited by KMH; February 15th, 2012 at 02:36 PM.
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  #2  
February 15th, 2012, 11:31 AM
yashobo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Though better said than done, please stop stressing yourself. Not good for bean and not good for you. Little bean will be fine and since the spotting was not red I am sure there is nothing to worry about. Hugs to you though, I actually chuckled at the thought of you finding the HPTs all gone Friday is just 2 days away; hang in there. Hugs.
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  #3  
February 15th, 2012, 11:37 AM
Mrs.Paradise's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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awwwwww sweetie! Im sending as much "sanity dust" as I can!!!








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  #4  
February 15th, 2012, 11:38 AM
bryan and nina's Avatar Love being a mommy!
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Oh Melissa! I know how you feel girl... I still get on a "need to poas" crazy where I get more tests and pee on them... I am so frazzled about our bean; and I have another week and 2 days until our appointment!!
POAS makes me feel better and I know seeing the line made you feel better to! Don't worry about feeding Claire taco bell; it could be worse!!

I have been thinking about you all week; I followed the tail end of your IVF story and was ecstatic when I found out we were in the same DDC!! I want your bean to stick so badly!!
Try to take it easy tonight and maybe watch a movie to take your mind off of things?
I will anxiously be awaiting your appointment on Friday; I can't wait to read that everything looks great!!

What's freaking me out is I have a lack of bad symptoms. Nothing other than slight nausea. The worst I am dealing with is fatigue. That's how it was with my last pregnancy; I was all excited that I didn't have any sickness and then I miscarried.

Hopefully in 2 weeks from now, after our first appointments, a lot of us will be able to breathe a little easier! The first few weeks are so nerve wrecking!!

Lots of hugs to you!!!
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  #5  
February 15th, 2012, 12:13 PM
mommacache's Avatar Super Mommy
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I think we all get a little crazy when we're pregnant. But, please, don't work yourself so much. Breathe in breathe out.

I do have to say that your story was pretty humorous.
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  #6  
February 15th, 2012, 12:16 PM
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I am a major POAS addict. I did one this morning, freaked myself because it is lighter even though I am still having all of my pg symptoms.

And then got into an argument with my husband because he said the wrong thing when I needed his support.

I completely understand what you are going through!!!
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  #7  
February 15th, 2012, 12:18 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommacache View Post
I do have to say that your story was pretty humorous.
I'm glad it is good for a laugh...hopefully I can laugh at it before too long

I am a very, VERY logical person. I'm an accountant, for crying out loud...looking at things logically is what I DO. For some reason, though, I just fall apart when it comes to pregnancy/fertility. It makes no sense!

Thank you all for reading, comforting and not judging...I know if I told DH he would really question my sanity, so it is nice to get some virtual hugs from you girls.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaxonsMom2010 View Post
I am a major POAS addict. I did one this morning, freaked myself because it is lighter even though I am still having all of my pg symptoms.
I hope we can both regain our sanity soon...thanks for your understanding!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bryan and nina View Post
Oh Melissa! I know how you feel girl... I still get on a "need to poas" crazy where I get more tests and pee on them... I am so frazzled about our bean; and I have another week and 2 days until our appointment!!
POAS makes me feel better and I know seeing the line made you feel better to!
Thank you I hope the time flies so that you can see your healthy little bean.
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  #8  
February 15th, 2012, 12:29 PM
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I hope the time goes by quickly until you are reassured by the ultrasound. I know it's hard, but try not to stress. Don't worry about doing what you need to do to feel better about things. Hope you can relax soon.
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  #9  
February 15th, 2012, 01:49 PM
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I feel you on the lack of sanity, so you are not alone. I am still freaking out and my OB wont see me until I am 12 weeks so I still have a looooong way to go.
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  #10  
February 15th, 2012, 01:58 PM
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It'll be Friday before you know it, try to hang in there! For what its worth, I don't think you're crazy. Spotting and any kind of bleeding is scary. With my second son I spotted and lightly bled off and on the first 8 weeks, it was nerve wracking to say the least. I have a very hard time with the first trimester anyway because of our loss. It's hard. We all have those insanity moments. At the very least I hope the test reassured you even just a little bit for now. HUGS

And now I really want Taco Bell. lol
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  #11  
February 15th, 2012, 02:03 PM
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I hope the time goes fast for you! I know exactly how you feel, worrying about the spotting. After two losses, I worry about every little thing with this pregnancy. Good luck!
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  #12  
February 15th, 2012, 02:07 PM
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FXd that after Friday your stress level will be way down .
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  #13  
February 15th, 2012, 02:35 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Well, here's a good update I was frustrated that some of my tests didn't look as dark as I thought they should. I was using really concentrated urine and I didn't understand why this would be unless my HCG was going down...a scary thought.

Well, this afternoon I remembered reading about how HCG can be too high to make a pregnancy test work...and that someone else diluted their urine and the tests showed up darker. I decided to try it myself. I peed in a cup about 1/3 full and tested with the first test. Then I filled the cup with water, mixed it up, and took the second test. The diluted test was actually a darker test

I think after seeing these results I can calm down a little and stop obsessing over the tests. They aren't scientifically perfect and they don't really tell you anything about the health of the baby...they just freak you out.

I'm going to try and put the rest of my tests away and just relax. Nina, I'm going to take your idea and watch a movie tonight when Claire goes to bed. DH is working late, so I'm going to find something girly that he wouldn't like, and just try to breathe.

Thank you girls so much for your encouragement and understanding...it has helped a LOT today

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  #14  
February 15th, 2012, 02:44 PM
bryan and nina's Avatar Love being a mommy!
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Wow, that is cool!! I remember another girl just doing the same thing a few days ago.... Hopefully this helps you relax a little. The spotting has ceased, right?

Girl, I wish we could watch a movie together; DH and I just had a fight and now he is in his "hobby room" working on the darn helicopters. (He flies RC helis and that is ALL he wants to do, all day. lol)
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  #15  
February 15th, 2012, 02:49 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Yep, Nina...no more spotting! Saturday was the day I had the red spotting, but since then it has been all brown, old stuff that is just clearing itself out. Today I really haven't even had that, so I don't know why I can't just R E L A X

Oh, I'd love to watch a movie with you! We could have some mock-tails and just pretend our first-trimester worries didn't exist.

Don't get me started on men and their hobbies. Ugh.
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  #16  
February 15th, 2012, 03:03 PM
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So glad you're feeling at least somewhat better about everything!
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  #17  
February 15th, 2012, 03:36 PM
Mrs.Paradise's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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YAY! Im glad your feeling a little bit better about things... at least to get you through until Friday!
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  #18  
February 15th, 2012, 04:44 PM
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speaking from personal experience(s).... The "what ifs" will drive you crazy.

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