[AltMommy]

Not to exclude anyone who has had a medicated or c-section birth.. There's no shame in that and sometimes it's necessary. My beliefs are just very strong that my body knows what it's doing and it's best for me and for baby if I do it 100 percent natural. In my mind.. Medicine is absolutely not even an option unless there is something EXTREMELY wrong.

So my question to you natural birth mommas; Have you gotten a lot of ****, or been mocked for your choice? I have been and it's really been making me SO angry. Since when have women lost complete faith in their bodies and decided that it's stupid or immature for wanting to do it on my own? Women have literally LAUGHED in my face. And told me how ridiculous I am for wanting to do it that way. And that I have no idea what i'm talking about and there's no way I will be able to handle it. I feel so utterly disrespected. Since when do they know my mental and physical capabilities??! As if because i'm young my threshold or capacity for pain or knowledge is somehow far less than theirs. I've been studying midwifery and everything to do with birth for years. I've always been interested and I do know what I'm talking about. It just really upsets me when people put me down for my beliefs.It's almost like someone making fun of my religion. That's just how important this is to me. My body and my baby mean everything and I WILL do this on my own.

I just don't know how to deal with the negative and mean comments I receive on the DAILY.

[mommacache]

I'm sorry you receive so many negative comments. The first time I was pregnant and told people we were planning a homebirth some of my relatives were a little hesitant and asked why (out of curiosity) but I explained the education of midwives and how well trained they are. As far as doing it without meds I had a few people say that meds really helped them, but I also had quite a few friends that said that they wanted birth naturally too. Luckily I had a MIL that had 7 natural births (in hospital) and breastfed for at least a year with each so I had support. I think my dad worried a little, but he had been born at home (his head was out by the time the Dr. arrived). MY FIL was really relaxed about it ("women have been giving birth for thousands of years-they're bodies know how to do it").

For those I thought wouldn't be supportive I just didn't tell them. I didn't tell my mom my plans (she had had a really terrible birth experience with me in the hospital, so that's her experience with birth). Afterwards I showed her the birth pics and we talked about it. I think it went pretty well.

After having one med-free birth the next time nobody blinks an eye. This time around (3rd) I am amazed at the support and positive comments I get-even from people that hadn't known about my previous births.

Hang in there and try to surround yourself with supportive people.

[BabyLover]

I'm sorry you're getting such negative responses from people. I haven't had a natural birth myself, but I've had friends who have - and friends who wanted to have a natural birth, but for whatever reason didn't. I never say anything negative. I try to encourage and support them. Every mother envisions the birth of her child differently, and who am I to tell them they can't have the experience they're hoping for?

[bostoncreampie]

That sucks. I don't get negative comments but I do think my inlaws were very skeptical since my SIL tried and did not have a NCB. I used hypnosis and got a few strange looks. But after delivering a 10.9 lb baby with a
15 inch head and shoulders AND hand up by his head using hypnosis to keep things easy and painless, I've earned pretty big respect so people don't dare question me anymore. I am tiny and people have a hard time accepting that I did it.
Don't sweat it, just have your NCB and everyone will be walking around with feet in their mouths.

[AltMommy]

Thanks guys, I know it shouldn't be about proving anyone wrong.. But at this point I kinda can't wait to do just that.

At least MY family supports me completely with this. But once again the boyfriend's family has been disrespectful and intolerable with their comments. Good thing i'm getting the hell out of here! Haha

[**Jenn**]

Just ignore everyone, I know its hard but you just have to tune them out. I got some comments when I was pregnant with my oldest but I didn't let it get to me. Its my body, my baby, and my birth so what they think doesn't matter. I also got to know who to discuss my plans with and who not to. I did hypnobirthing and I got some comments and sideways glances about that. There's also no pleasing some people. I've had people give me crap for wanting to go naturally and then when I did it say "Oh well you must have had an easy birth. If you had MY birth you never would have been able to do it." How on earth they could possibly know that is beyond me. You can only know how your own births feel.

I've never gotten medication or interventions and my plan is to make it number 4 in October.

[bostoncreampie]

Oh it will be the best feeling when you do it and prove everyone wrong. I know it's not anyone's reason for wanting a NCB but when you do and get to go back and tell everyone that you DID IT, it feels so good. I love the fact that I defied the bullsh i t "small framed women can't deliver big babies" MYTH. It feels **** good.

[Mrs.Paradise]

yeah *** them! Im sure my sisters will all be doing some eye rolling when/if I tell them I want to do a home birth... but I really dont CARE what they think!!! Im sure they will tell me that Im not going to be able to do it... so thats why I dont really want to tell them... lol I dont need the negativity that they will bring! good luck! as long as you do what you feel is BEST FOR YOU AND BABY then thats ALL that matters!!!

[Boston.Corgi]

Most of my friends have been supportive of me doing a NCB, the only big detractor has been my mom. Nothing super negative, mostly a bunch of eye rolling and a general "mmhmmm, I'll remember you said you didn't want drugs when you're begging for an epidural like everybody else" attitude. I have countered any doubt that might have given me by reading Ina May Gaskin's "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth". The first half of the book is just positive NCB stories (a good chunk of them home births). It's a nice positive affirmative that I CAN do this, that LOTS of people do, and that not everybody has this terrible agonizing experience during labor.

[Teeniemama]

Don't worry about the negative commenters. Besides, it's no one else's business how you plan to give birth, anyway! I find that people tend to think "their" way is always the best way, whatever way that is. Just ignore them and do your thing. ( :

[hiddentrinity]

I understand the frustration. It seems everyone has ideas on how you should do things. I say screw them do what you feel is right.

My mother was forced to have a c-section with me, I was two weeks late and they could not induce labor. That is my only worry with my pregnancy is something going wrong at birth.

My MIL is fine with natural birth but says take the drugs as soon and as often as you can. Her comment is 'it is okay if the baby is a little stoned coming out.' She also doesn't believe in breast feeding, she uses formula so the baby will sleep through the night sooner. I love love her dearly but sometimes I just laugh and shake my head.

[Pleione]

My family is fairly skeptical about me doing it the natural way but also supportive. Some people just seem to have this perception about birth being only ONE definite way. They're in shock when they learn that there is -- gasp -- other methods!

I'm very excited about my birth. I'm going to use hypnobirthing, labor and deliver in the water, and do it all at a birth center. Everything that is not the traditional hospital delivery. Do I have skeptics? Yes. Do I care? Not much. This is something I've been wanting to do before I was pregnant. This is for me and my baby.

[Kansascity kitty]

I say it's your body and your choice. I personally will never do it again but thats do to the fact I have like fast food take out labors way to fast with not a chance to even take a breath. My contractions do not have any space between them unless you count a mere 2 seconds because they hump each other! I am sure there are ways in other situations with not such an aggressive labor to be able to go drug free. As far as natural to me that me a vaginal birth period. Hope everything works out the way you'd like it to, just remain optimistic. As far as the AARP people telling you there is no way tell them if they have nothing good say to keep the crap that is falling out of their mouths to themselves and that putting it nicely.

[ShutterBabe]

I didn't go in last time planning on a natural birth. But since I've had one now, I'll probably do it again. I don't get any negative comments (sorry you do!!) I just get a LOT of surprised looks because everyone knows how pain and I get along

[Kansascity kitty]

Originally Posted by kristenpie

Oh it will be the best feeling when you do it and prove everyone wrong. I know it's not anyone's reason for wanting a NCB but when you do and get to go back and tell everyone that you DID IT, it feels so good. I love the fact that I defied the bullsh i t "small framed women can't deliver big babies" MYTH. It feels **** good.

I too hate that your so small there is no way you can get that baby pushed out! My ob's have all said that larger women have the harder times having vaginal births because there really isn't much more room for the hips to move.

[mommyand3]

I didn't have meds with 2 outta the 3 of my kids. It was the best experience after the fact although the last one was pretty horrible for pain. I really am pushing to not even have an IV this time until after if needed for antibiotics or anything that MIGHT happen. If I can get away with it, I will. I also plan to sign myself out at exactly the 24 hour mark if the baby and I am doing well. Last time I was there for 3 days because of stupid reasons and I will not do that again. Woman were designed to birth babies and it's not a medical thing unless it needs to be. That's my thoughts. I was also confined to a bed the last time and it was HORRIBLE. I'll go in when I can't take the pain anymore and the contractions are close...otherwise birthing at home till the last minute!

[zubeldia]

I had more passive aggressive comments when pregnant with DS. I, too, used hypnosis (hypnobabies) and it was fab! But my family - especially one of my sisters and mum, were incredibly dismissive and basically said, 'you wait, you'll be screaming for meds'. I 'laughed' along with them and then quietly vowed to do get through it. I also am so tired of the message that women don't know how to birth a baby and that we're really encouraged to think of birth as a medical event. It does such a great disservice. I'm also discouraged that we don't hear the very negative effects of pain meds... there are always effects beyond the benefits and yet we never ever talk about that.

Gah!

[bryan and nina]

I've never been through labor but my plan is a natural (water) birth at the birth center. I have gotten some concerned looks so far and a lot of questioning about "what if something goes wrong?"... My mom has 3 kids and went through 3 scary (and dangerous) births so she is pretty concerned about that but I've been trying to reassure her. If I do need a c-section, the hospital is only 2 miles away...

I hope we all get the drug free births we are aiming for! And this is yet another great reason for the forum-- support, even if our beliefs are a little "unconventional".

[**Jenn**]

Also you'll find that everyone and their mother will just love to tell you their birth "horror" story. It seems everyone had a worse experience than the person before them. You can stop them in their tracks by just telling "Only positive birth stories please, my baby is listening."

[zubeldia]

Jenn, SO TRUE! I used to say to people, "sorry, I'm in my peace bubble, I can't hear those stories" (it's a hypnobabies thing!).

Nina, I loved the tub! My Dr., last time, wasn't able to catch a baby in the water (she's a great friend which is why she was my birth Dr!) but this time i'm going with a midwife group who do a lot of water births. I can't tell you how excited I am! It's at a hosptial - where I had my son - but it's more like a birthing center - and actually it's in a separate building away from the main hospital. I can;t wait!