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Not enjoying the pregnancy.


Forum: October 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
May 5th, 2012, 10:00 PM
LucilleTwo's Avatar Andrea, mama to L & E
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,011
Anyone else feel unattached or that you aren't enjoying the pregnancy? I am so worried that something is going to go wrong that I feel like I'm not allowing myself to be happy. DH and I hardly ever talk about the baby and I don't even want to think about making any major purchases. I honestly feel like having losses has taken the joy out of what should be an exciting time. I am so utterly grateful to be pregnant but I'm afraid of getting attached.
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  #2  
May 5th, 2012, 10:15 PM
Lindre's Avatar Daydreaming mommy!
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 27
Aww, sorry you're feeling that way :/ I can kind of relate as I've had a few losses myself. There's always that voice in my head wondering if there's anything wrong, and I've convinced myself I'm not even pregnant anymore more than once. Maybe it is a way of protecting myself in case something were to happen again, but I do my best not to listen to it and think positive thoughts. I haven't really gotten that attached yet, but I do find buying a little something, giving him/her a nickname helps. I felt the same way with my daughter up until the anatomy scan. Finally seeing a healthy bouncing little baby eliminated my fears and I was able to get attached after that. I hope your worries are eased soon and you can allow yourself to get attached because this is supposed to be an exciting time!
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  #3  
May 6th, 2012, 05:21 AM
Kansascity kitty's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: NOVA
Posts: 7,998
I go back and forth if it weren't for me going to the specialist every two weeks I would go absolutely nutso worried every second about the girls getting TTTS. Hugs I understand but try not to let it hinder you enjoy each day you have your lo ( I actually think this way and thank god each day their with me).
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  #4  
May 6th, 2012, 05:35 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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This is my very first pregnancy and I sort of feel the same way as you. I'm so worried something will go wrong...I've refused to buy ANYTHING so far...not even a little onsie because I'm so afraid it will jinx me. Each time I go to the doctor everything seems fine...but I still worry. I try not to let it get to me, and I talk to the baby every day so I'm definitely already attached but I'm a worrier by nature. Try not to let it get to you even though I definitely know how hard that is. I will probably start buying stuff after the gender scan; which probably won't be 'til 21 weeks for me...
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  #5  
May 6th, 2012, 06:13 AM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: NJ
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I do know how you feel. I do feel very unattached. Our loss was our first baby and I feel like that robbed me of that carefree, super excited feeling that a lot of women get to have when they're pregnant. I worry constantly. I have my gender scan on Tuesday and I'm scared to death the baby won't be alive. While there is no real reason to think everything isn't just fine, I can't help it. It does get better for me once I start feeling good, regular movement. hugs
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  #6  
May 6th, 2012, 06:34 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I always have a really hard time enjoying the pregnancy until I know the sex, which is why we have always found out. I need that.
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  #7  
May 6th, 2012, 08:00 AM
starsandstripes's Avatar October 2012 DDC co-host
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I know exactly what you are talking about. I'm so scared to buy anything...which is why she only has like MAYBE 3 or 4 outfits right now and that's because my mom has bought two of them. lol. I WANT so bad to be able to really put my whole self into and be soooo excited about this pregnancy and this little girl, but I'm scared to death! We had an 18 week loss...so this has been a very tough week for both myself and my husband. I've been trying to keep my mind off of it and I've been trying to force myself NOT to drag out the doppler every 10 minutes, but it's been very difficult. I do feel the same way that you do. Having a loss really puts perspective on pregnancy. It makes you KNOW that bad things CAN and do happen and they can most definitely happen to you too....a reality that I was blissfully unaware of before our loss. **sigh**. ((((((hugs)))))) Hang in there and try not to get too worried! I figure that our excitement and ability to purchase things will happen when WE are ready....and if it happens after we see their sweet little faces in our arms then so what. It's not the end of the world to have to shop after the baby is born My worry is that this entire pregnancy will go by (our last) and that I'll not enjoy a second of it....and that I'll regret that once she's here. I'm sure you feel the same way. I'm sorry...I wish NONE of us ever had to experience something as devastating as the loss of a pregnancy (((((hug)))))))
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  #8  
May 6th, 2012, 08:23 AM
LoverlyJules's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
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I'm there with you. My first pregnancy was a loss. The first u/s I ever had was the one where the baby was not moving and there was no heartbeat. Even though I've heard the HB 3 different times, I need the confirmation of SEEING a healthy baby! I'm hoping my u/s will help, but that's not until 6/13!!
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  #9  
May 6th, 2012, 11:47 AM
mommaof4andhalf's Avatar Mighty Midget Minion Mom
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,595
I'm there as well. With all the funky blood tests and the doctors scaring the tar out of me, I still don't want to allow myself to fully be happy. I'm so afraid they will take it away from me. It's a sad way to be. I'm starting to get more attached,but, there is obvious trepidation there. Hang in there!!!! I'm sure it will pass as our little ones grow. <3
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  #10  
May 7th, 2012, 07:39 PM
Nicole1108's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 245
Im so sorry you're feeling this way. I wouldn't say I feel unattached - but Im definitely not enjoying this pregnancy at all! Which makes me feel sooooooooooooo GUILTY!! I thank God every day for my lil blessing - but everything that comes along with it has been so awful! This one has been 10 times worse than my first one. Maybe once you know the gender - that might help. Or talk to your Dr about how you are feeling..they might be able to offer some insight as well. Just remember you are not alone in feeling this way! Stay positive! <3
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