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Forum: October 2012 Playroom

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  • 2 Post By doremi
  • 4 Post By yashobo

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  #1  
September 24th, 2012, 10:10 PM
AltMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Bay Area, California
Posts: 2,318
Just need to vent about a family member...

I have some pretty crazy family members who have no problem speaking their minds about EVERYTHING. I'm usually fine and can just brush it off as "that's just the way they are." But today one of my aunts made me so angry!

I announced Ares name at my shower over a week ago to all of our family and friends. Everyone had really nice things to say about his name! (Or were at least polite with their response) But this one aunt I have went on and on about how it was a ridiculous name that nobody will be able to pronounce or spell. Furthermore she is refusing to pronounce his name correctly when she talks about him now. She knows exactly how to say it, yet when I asked her why she was pronouncing it the way she was, she responded with " it sounds better this way & I think this is the CORRECT way to say it."

Ummm..excuse me? It is a NAME. It's not a word in the dictionary that has a certain way it needs to be pronounced. If I say that it is said like" air-eez", that IS how it is said. You don't get to tell me that is the wrong way to say it!!!!! I chose his name therefore I CHOSE the annunciation of it. What does she not get about that???! It's like a slap in the face to have someone tell you that you are saying your own child's name wrong. It took every bit of me to bite my tongue and not want to scratch her eyes out. She is saying his name like "Our-iss" and that is NOT his name. Even when I asked her politely to please pronounce it the right way and call him by his correct name, she refuses. ***!!

She also asked me about my birth plan. I told her about how I was going natural and it was really important to me. I told her how excited I was about my hypnobabies birth and how I felt really confident! She instantly laughed in my face! Basically saying how I won't be able to handle the pain and that I will be "BEGGING" for drugs. Umm.. NO. I won't be. I understand that it will be one of the biggest challenges I will face, but I am confident and am dead set against drugs unless an emergency arises. Why do other women seem like they always want to drag me down when I say I'm going natural? It's like people think I am the craziest/most naive person ever for even attempting it. I'm sorry that I have confidence in myself and my body... Jeez. I understand that a natural birth isn't for everyone, but for ME it is what is best. So why the hell can't people respect me about that? I may be young but I know what I am doing and am pretty sure I am more knowledgeable and have prepared way more than she ever has! So irritating.


And don't even get me started on all of the ***** she was saying about the fact that I am choosing not to circumcise my son.

She put me into a full blown rage! Ugh. I guess I can't discuss anything with my family members anymore. They are all so negative and rude! I'm tired of the judgement and condescending comments. I just want a little respect. Is that too much to ask????
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  #2  
September 24th, 2012, 10:45 PM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
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I TOTALLY got the same responses over choosing not to circ, and saying I wanted a natural birth when talking to my SIL while pregnant with Josiah. It was SO irritating!!!!!! As for the name thing, that is just plain RUDE! She should keep her opinions to herself! It is one thing to have a hard time learning the pronunciation of a name, it is another thing to flat out refuse to pronounce it right! My friend named her daughter Halle, pronounced Ha (as in hat)-lee. Her daughter is almost a year old, and her Mom (grandma to Halle) still has trouble pronouncing the name, because she is Norwegian, and in Norwegian it is always Hah-lay. Your aunt sounds like a real piece of work! I say name him AIR-EEZ, keep him intact, and have a drug free birth, just to spite her
mandattu_02 and kaylarayne like this.
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  #3  
September 24th, 2012, 10:49 PM
AltMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doremi View Post
I TOTALLY got the same responses over choosing not to circ, and saying I wanted a natural birth when talking to my SIL while pregnant with Josiah. It was SO irritating!!!!!! As for the name thing, that is just plain RUDE! She should keep her opinions to herself! It is one thing to have a hard time learning the pronunciation of a name, it is another thing to flat out refuse to pronounce it right! My friend named her daughter Halle, pronounced Ha (as in hat)-lee. Her daughter is almost a year old, and her Mom (grandma to Halle) still has trouble pronouncing the name, because she is Norwegian, and in Norwegian it is always Hah-lay. Your aunt sounds like a real piece of work! I say name him AIR-EEZ, keep him intact, and have a drug free birth, just to spite her

Oh I will! Was planning on it anyways though of course haha.

Besides Air-eez is the proper pronnounciation of the name. Not that it matters... Even it it was totally strange and incorrect, WHO CARES. It's nobody's business to tell me how to pronounce my son's name! So aggravating. I would never say anything like that to someone else having a child... I don't know where some people get the nerve!
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  #4  
September 25th, 2012, 03:06 AM
lovely.carlie's Avatar MaKinslie's Mommy
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I think the reason that people like to say that you'll be "begging for drugs" is because they themselves are jealous of the inner strength and calm that takes. Like I'm willing to go as far as I can with no pain meds, But I know that an epi isn't out I of the question for me. I have alot of respect for people who can have a natural birth while others are jealous!

As for your aunt and all that.. We have an in law who likes to tell my DSD that her names a spelling error (Fayth) I mean REALLY? and she still grumbles about me not choosing "a good Christian name" even though she is an atheist. What the hell? Lol. I say you ignore her as best you can that's what I do. And DH and I love the name Ares by the way he wanted that name if we had a boy, he's a total God of War nerd
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  #5  
September 25th, 2012, 05:19 AM
zubeldia's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I had a lot of this when I was pregnant with my son.. I just got inside of my peace bubble and ignored the negativity. You're a strong mama and having belief that you can and will do it is the biggest hurdle.

You're going to do great!
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  #6  
September 25th, 2012, 06:53 AM
yashobo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yeah, I think people like that thrive on ruffling others' feathers and the more she sees she can get to you, the more stunt like that she will pull. So, ignore her and let her know her opinion does not matter in the least. I can bet you, Ares himself will correct her in couple of years if she chooses to keep pronouncing his name wrongly. What the nerve!
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  #7  
September 25th, 2012, 07:06 AM
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I agree with Yashobo, people really do thrive on making negative comments to pregnant women. I don't know what it is about pregnancy that makes people think they have the right to make you feel like crap about your decisions. I got the same kind of crap about seeing a midwife instead of an obgyn, and wanting to do an out-of-hospital birth. People tried to "warn" me away from what I felt was the best decision for my son. You are the mom, and absolutely NO one has the right to tell you what his name should be or how to say it. She needs to suck it up and listen to you, and shut up. There is no reason for her to be so hateful, she should be supporting you. It is SO insulting to have someone hate the name you chose for your child, and rude to verbalize it! I had someone that repeatedly asked me what my son's middle name was going to be over and over again, like if they asked me enough times, it would change. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Try not to let it get to you, I know it's hard, I let EVERYTHING get to me right now, but in the end, you're not changing anything, so what she says doesn't hold any water.
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