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How are things going with the DH/SO?


Forum: October 2012 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By GiaTortilla
  • 1 Post By LoverlyJules
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  #1  
October 2nd, 2012, 10:49 PM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: USA
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I'll admit, since the contractions have been more regular and I am on edge, things haven't been great between DH and I. We're solid, don't get me wrong, but there has been a lot of snipering going on lately! Particularly surrounding disciplining issues with Josiah. He and I have different approaches, neither right or wrong. What works for DH when he is with Josiah is not what works for me when I am with Josiah, and we tend to try to impose each other's "styles" on each other. This has been ESPECIALLY irritating to me the past couple of weeks when he is saying, "Don't give him a warning, put him in timeout", as I'm disciplining while working through a major contraction. Um, sorry, not physically capable of dragging my 4 year old into timeout at the moment!!! I think we're both feeling stressed about the finances and just the whole welcoming of another person into our family too, so that all adds up. All in all though, DH has been extremely helpful, supportive, and is there for me when I really need him to be. How are the rest of you doing in the relationship department? I think the weeks leading up to birth and the couple of weeks after are the hardest on the relationship!
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  #2  
October 2nd, 2012, 11:37 PM
GiaTortilla's Avatar FTM to a princess
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Location: Los Angeles, CA
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He's on his last finger nail, but he's hanging in there I've been a little snappy as well, so I totally understand that part especially with contractions! He's still hurt that I'd rather snuggle my pillow more so than him, but I accepted the ring didn't I? That should be enough lol. I feel really guilty sometimes like now, when he left for work about an hour ago, I hate feel like I'm relying on him for everything. I don't want him to burn himself out on work, but I can't really do anything about it. That's what makes me believe that even if I want to, I probably will not be a SAHM. It's just not easy now that we actually pay our own rent. Even though he doesn't mind and has been really amazing since day one, I still feel bad.

He's also a nervous wreck, but he hides it well (; I can tell he's getting more nervous, he'll text me before I go to sleep to make sure I'm not sitting in my own puddle of water he really doesn't want to miss the big moment obviously. Guess it wasn't really nice of me to pretend it did a couple days ago he's good though, thankfully. Drinking a couple more Monsters, but good. I count my lucky stars for him.

Sorry for the ramble, couldn't help myself
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  #3  
October 3rd, 2012, 03:44 AM
abur's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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DH and I are actually the closest we have been in a while and are not taking these last momens together for granted at all. I'm secretly hoping she stays put until Friday so we can go see a matinee movie He is starting to get nervous and it is really cute...

But we have definitely been cutting up together like we used to and I'm super happy I love that guy!
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  #4  
October 3rd, 2012, 03:45 AM
bryan and nina's Avatar Love being a mommy!
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That's really sweet Gia; it sounds like you two have a wonderful relationship!!

Things between Bryan and I have been ok really. I can tell he is getting stressed and anxious about Emmy's arrival but he also hides it well. I do wish he would want to spend some more 1 on 1 time with me right now; like last night for example, he got home (did give me a kiss though! ) and went into his hobby room to work on a heli for an hour or so. I know he is trying to get as much heli time in now as possible, and that's fine because once she is here, I have a feeling there won't be much time for that anymore... And we did go on a walk together afterward, which was nice!
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  #5  
October 3rd, 2012, 04:09 AM
LoverlyJules's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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DH and I have been doing well. He's been really supportive of me and how I've been feeling. I do think it's partly because I've been feeling pretty good, so there haven't been that many complaints. That means he's more apt to comfort me when I do feel not so great.

I think he's really excited. He will sometimes say something to the baby or rub my belly. He's looking forward to us figuring out our family dynamic and making things work for us.

Love him!
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  #6  
October 3rd, 2012, 05:27 AM
Lindre's Avatar Daydreaming mommy!
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The first time around DH was really distancing himself. He'd work 10-12 hour shifts, come home and play video games. He wasn't very "hands on" with our daughter for the first year of her life either-he'd take her maybe 2 hours every 2 weeks, and I ended up becoming increasingly resentful. For a while I did not think we'd make it. He did not handle the stress very well.
Then he became laid off and over the course of a few months I think he got a new found appreciation for what it's like for me to run a house, take care of a kid and take care of a large yard. Gradually he's been taking over more and more around here, he's become very involved as a father (He's actually pretty amazing now and takes her a good portion of every day) and he's been much more involved with this pregnancy.
We've struggled since he lost his job 9 months ago, but in a way I think it's been a major blessing. I can tell he's starting to get stressed out, but I know he'll handle it way better this time. I've been going kookoo crazy the last week and started getting super snippy, and he's handled it like a pro. It's great to be able to say he's been a wonderful support to me this time around
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  #7  
October 3rd, 2012, 06:46 AM
Summerdays12's Avatar Erin&Aaron's1st!
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My hubby is doing really really great with everything. Last night he said "I'm just so ready for our little guy to be here..I just want to play with him so bad". It was really cute to hear that in person rather than just reading it in an email. Although, it will be a while before he can actually play with him but he's just so excited for all the milestones that he skipped ahead to the baby being old enough to play lol.
I can't wait to see him with our son..he's going to be such a perfect daddy to him!
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  #8  
October 3rd, 2012, 08:25 AM
Peytonsmomma
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ohhhh i could cry! he is so helpful, but we are having a hard time with his daughter, the only time he has snipped at me was the other night when we went to the hospital and i snipped at him and he said "rarrr" like a cat meow like a smart a**, anyways i told him he had better not say that to me again seeing how i have been contracting all day. other than that he wakes up all hours of the night checking to see how i am doing etc
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  #9  
October 3rd, 2012, 08:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoverlyJules View Post
DH and I have been doing well. He's been really supportive of me and how I've been feeling. I do think it's partly because I've been feeling pretty good, so there haven't been that many complaints. That means he's more apt to comfort me when I do feel not so great.

I think he's really excited. He will sometimes say something to the baby or rub my belly. He's looking forward to us figuring out our family dynamic and making things work for us.

Love him!
I'm with Jessica

DH is very supportive, but at the same time my pregnancy really didn't have many downs at all. He's starting to get a little nervous about getting everything together. But since I keep saying I don't feel like Savina is coming anytime soon, he also understands he's got some time.

He's very much in love with our girl already too. He interacts with her so much, pretty much ever since he was able to see and feel her kicks and moves. It's so cute watching him and listening to him talking to her.
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  #10  
October 3rd, 2012, 09:06 AM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Things are really good here. Maybe because my DH is very used to the cranky/end of pregnancy stage and he knows it will pass as soon as the baby is born! He's so helpful with the kids and being very patient when I'm grouchy and miserable. I'm really trying hard *not* to wear him down with my complaining, because I'm so grateful for him.

At the end of pregnancy, it seems like everyone in the world grates on my last nerve...except DH.
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  #11  
October 3rd, 2012, 09:35 AM
zubeldia's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Things are mostly fine, though honestly I wish he'd show up more. We'e been together almost 18 years so we definitely have a pattern. He's very unhappy in his job and that dominates a lot of our life, which is really sad to me because he misses seeing what he does have (which is a great son, another one on the way, a beautiful house, and a wife who makes most of the money ). He's in school and doing an internship and we've made some significant sacrifices so he can do this and I don't feel the same level of support back. Don't get me wrong, he is a lovely guy but I'm usually incredibly independent and not very 'needy' and right now I could do with someone looking after me a little bit. It can feel a bit lonely, especially as our families are overseas.
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  #12  
October 3rd, 2012, 10:54 AM
delaney24's Avatar Super Mommy
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DH is being great, and very cute. I am still in shock at how supportive he's been over me wanting a natural childbirth, but not going to complain!! He is usually ALL FOR technology, medicines, etc, but he is so on board with me doing this naturally, it's awesome. He has read so many books & watched so many *graphic* natural childbirth videos (usually he is very squeamish so this is a big deal) & keeps slipping affirmations into daily conversation haha. It seems a bit artificial...like he will come home, kiss me, and say "I am so proud of everything you're doing to support this baby"...but again, not going to complain!

When I had the bloody show the other day he did freak out a little bit though, but I kind of knew he'd be like that when he thought something was happening. To be fair, there was a LOT, but he ran around the bedroom saying "what do I do?! I'm going to text the doula...shall I text the doula?!". Bless. So perhaps he won't be the calmest rock during labor, but he is trying his best
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  #13  
October 3rd, 2012, 12:18 PM
JillN31's Avatar Veteran
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We're good, but we've been down this road twice before. We struggled a lot more during my second pregnancy. We moved, he hurt his back, he changed jobs....there was a lot going on that year. My DH isn't very doting, but I'm not very needy either so it works out. As we are approaching the finals days, I can tell that we are both on edge. Welcoming a new person into your family kind of throws everything off until everyone adjusts to the new normal.
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