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Rough first couple of days!


Forum: October 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
October 27th, 2012, 03:57 AM
bryan and nina's Avatar Love being a mommy!
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Well things aren't quite working out as perfectly as I had hoped but isn't that the case so often?!
The most pressing issue is her lack of desire to nurse. She just wants to sleep or in the rare instance that I can get her latched on, she takes maybe two pulls and then detatches, almost like she got a bad taste or something. Then she gets frustrated... Does my milk taste bad?? lol. I know I am producing some, not sure how much is "normal" but this morning in desperation I pumped, got maybe 1.5 oz (I didn't really pay attention to how much I got) and I spoon fed her some of it. She took that pretty well but I don't want to make a habit of it. Is it ok that I did that though?? She literally has hardly had any food in her belly since she has been born so I feel like maybe if she gets some nutrients, she will perk up more and show more of a desire to nurse?!
I called a lactation consultant yesterday and left a message (she said she was out of town thursday and friday) but I am not sure if she will call today, since it's saturday? I have another (more expensive ) one's number and I will call her today if I don't hear from the first one by lunch time or so. We need help!

The second issue is that she does NOT like to sleep in the arm's reach. I can get her to fall asleep in my arms but as soon as I lay her in there, she wakes up and starts screaming her head off. Around 1am today I gave up and put her in bed next to me. Yup, I thought for sure I wouldn't start that but if you need sleep so badly, you do whatever it takes to get a few hours. She slept like a dream! I'm just worried because I know it's not safe and I don't want to start that habit! Maybe once we get the BFing figured out we can start addressing that.

My husband has been AWESOME! I mean, I just can't believe how awesome he is doing. He is a total natural, which honestly kind of surprised me because in our 8+ years together, he has never held a baby. But I guess it's different when it's your own. He loves holding her, did skin to skin all morning today and talks to her... He's sooo supportive to me, rubs my back when I get upset in the middle of the night because she won't latch and has been very helpful around the house! I'm falling in love all over again!

I'll take and post some pics today! So far I've mostly just gotten pics on my phone, but I'll break out the camera today!
We have to go to the birth center at noon so I can get my RH shot, since Emmy is positive so I will see if they have a minute to look at her latching difficulties.

Hope everyone has a great weekend! Love you girls!
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  #2  
October 27th, 2012, 04:21 AM
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Sorry it's been rough. Hopefully the LC can help. We are also having trouble gettin Madalyn to sleep anywhere but in our arms ... It takes time.

I hear ya about DH being great. It's SO helpful!

Good luck!
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  #3  
October 27th, 2012, 04:22 AM
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First of all congrats! As for your latching concerns, mine did the same thing. I really can't give you advice as she still does it and I am
Pumping every 2-3 hours, and feeding her in a bottle + formula. I wish you luck.

As far as sleepy baby in arms , I've got that same issue haha. Anytime we put her to sleep in arms and place her in bassinet she cries. Pick
Her up - she sleeps. If it gets bad enough where both of us has had no sleep (like tonight) I would lay her in her bassinet and let herself cry to sleep (only 15-20 mins at max of her doing that. Sadly tonight didn't work wel for me). You can also try rocking her to sleep and give it about 5-10 mins after she passes out to put her in her crib.

Another thing, I'm not sure how you're doing it, but when hoding her try to cover her in a blanket and then rock her to sleep or whatever it is you do. Also on her crib/bassinet you can lay over a receiving blanket on top (they still get air) and the total darkness will also put them to sleep.

However this is what has (kind of lol) worked for us over the last week and a half that she's been born/home. It is very tiring. I, myself have actually cried and had a melt down while holding her and by trying to breast feed and made her even more aggravated where she cried back.

Hope it gets better for you!!
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Last edited by Zukin; October 27th, 2012 at 04:25 AM.
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  #4  
October 27th, 2012, 04:49 AM
bryan and nina's Avatar Love being a mommy!
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Thank you Christi!!! Those are some great tips!
Jessica, thanks as well. I'm just afraid to make a habit out of it, but when you are desperate for sleep... well, it's hard not to.
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  #5  
October 27th, 2012, 05:16 AM
ellinj0206's Avatar Mom to Alexandra Jane
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Nina,

First things first, you are doing an amazing job as mommy and don't forget that. Like you, my hubby has been super supportive and awesome and I kind of forget to give myself any credit for being a pretty darn good mommy!

Like you, breast feeding hasn't been working out perfectly for me especially given that we started her on formula to address some major weight/eating concerns they had at the hospital. This kind of started me off at a bit of a disadvantage to getting things going. I've been nursing her and pumping, but only get a few tablespoons out of each breast...I envy 1.5oz!! From what I understand, BFing can be a real adjustment to get used to, but don't give up and stay confident. You're providing your little one with amazing nutrients and immunity that just can't come out of formula. I've noticed even though I don't produce tons of milk, little Alexandra also loves what I now call "mommy and me time" and I can tell having her at my breast is really soothing for her.

Things will get better as your little one adjusts to their new environment and you get into a routine and rhythm. Remember this is as new to your LO (ok even more so) as it is to us and we're all adjusting, especially us first time moms! And oh yeah, dare I say our hormones taking a huge dive doesn't help, either!!

You're doing great, momma!!
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  #6  
October 27th, 2012, 05:19 AM
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Oh Nina, there are so many things I swore I'd never do as a parent that I have and will do. The first couple of months with a newborn are all about survival!
My second son wouldn't sleep in the co-sleeper until he was two months old. I slept in the recliner with him for those two months because I was too afraid to put him in bed with me. Currently sleeping in the recliner with Colin because he won't sleep in the co-sleeper either. I have a four year old and two year old to take care of as well and mama needs her sleep!
It is virtually impossible to spoil a baby less than 3 months old so I wouldn't worry too much about it becoming a habit at this point. Hopefully, it's just something that gets you through the first few weeks until she settles more at night. I think co-sleeping can absolutely be safe as long as neither parent drinks alcohol or does drugs, the linens are tight-fitting, and you block off any area where she could get her head trapped between the mattress and bed frame. I don't put our babies in bed because my husband is a big dude and a heavy sleeper so the recliner it is.
As for your latch issue, have you tried pumping a little first? I have two thoughts 1. She is giving up too fast because it takes a little bit to get the milk to come out. or 2. She's popping off because the milk is coming out too fast. In either case, if you pump for a minute or two first, it may help her.

Good luck Nina. The first few days can be rough but soon you will both get into a good routine and these troubles will be a distant memory.
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  #7  
October 27th, 2012, 05:48 AM
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Nina, you're a super mummy! I think that pumping and feeding her some milk is fine and will give her some energy to wake up and nurse. It's VERY common for babies to be very sleepy... some things you can try: change her before feeding her so that she's more awake. Don't wrap her too warmly when nursing as she'll get too comfy Stroke, in circles, her hands or feet - as it can sometimes stimulate them to suckle. You're smart to call the lactation woman. You could also see if there's a LLL meeting in your area as you can get some help for free

Second, it's FINE that she's in your bed. There are ways to co-sleep safely. You don't smoke, you're not obese, and I'm guessing that neither of you are on any problematic medications that could cause excess drowsiness (all of these are risk factors). Keep spare pillows away from E and blankets farther down the bed. You'll find that you sleep around her and that you're VERY aware of her.

I cosleep with Charlie and frankly I think he'd be fine in his Moses basket but the skin to skin time is so good for baby and mama and I will say that I'm getting some great sleep with him next to me. He basically wakes to eat, and because he's right there and I'm aware of him, I wake up and feed him before he's too hungry so he doesn't even cry.

I rememebr the first few days with my first son were brutal, but I learnt that every phase goes so quickly and this will pass - even while you feel you're going out of your mind. Lots of hugs, mama.
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  #8  
October 27th, 2012, 06:07 AM
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I have no advice for you since I'm still playing the waiting game myself, but I just wanted to say that I know you'll figure out what works for her soon. You're a great mommy already, hang in there!
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  #9  
October 27th, 2012, 06:08 AM
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Aww Nina I feel for you! Michael will not sleep easily in his bed either. We are up off and on all night, and then magically, once morning comes, he sleeps all day. Little booger snot! I have had some latch issues as well, but eventually he stays on and feeds. Just keep trying, keep your head up, I know how much some of this can suck but you can do it!!!!
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  #10  
October 27th, 2012, 06:35 AM
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We had feeding issues too, at first. My midwife said not to worry if baby doesn't get anything the first couple of days. They are born with extra fat that sustains them for a while. It gives you both time to figure out BF. To pick up on what Jill suggested: I kind of agree. I had a feeling it was similar with Savina, especially since I had to use the nipple shields, which make it harder for her to suck out enough, plus my supply wasn't so great at first. I would massage down the milk while Savina was sucking. I think that helped. She does just fine now that I have a really good milk supply.
Spoon feeding is totally all right. My LC suggested cup feeding when I couldn't get her to latch. As long as you stay away from the bottle, it will not impact your chances to get her on the breast.

Good luck!!

You saw the pedi already, right? How'd that go?

another thought: were you doing the placenta pills? I am and I think they really help!
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Last edited by Lav; October 27th, 2012 at 06:43 AM.
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  #11  
October 27th, 2012, 06:42 AM
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oh and the other thing I forgot to mention: don't worry about the cosleeper. We have the snuggle nest, which we put right between us in our bed, and yet I hardly ever use it. It's so much easier with her on me during the night. I get so much more sleep because of it. When she stirs for hunger, I latch her on and fall back to sleep. And when she's done, she sleeps soundly on my chest. She's not going anywhere. Not only am I way aware of her, even in my sleep, but I also use my body pillow for nursing, which provides us with an extra barrier. It works out great, and I'm loving the constant contact to my baby!
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  #12  
October 27th, 2012, 07:09 AM
bryan and nina's Avatar Love being a mommy!
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Thank you SO much for the reassurance!!! I know lots of us are facing latch issues and I REALLY appreciate you guys taking the time to reassure me in this; just reading those words helps and makes me feel a little more confident.

Jill, what you brought up is what I was thinking; it takes a while for the milk/ colostrum to start coming out so maybe she is frustrated by that! This morning when I pumped some out, it took probably 20-30 seconds after the let-down mode stopped for things to really start flowing instead of just a drop coming out, and when I put her on the breast after I had pumped it some, she did seem more willing to stay on longer.
We just had another nursing session and she seemed just a little bit stronger and more eager! Hopefully that trend will continue. It's such a learning curve.

Yeah Elli we had the pedi appointment yesterday and it went pretty good. She wants us to come in next week for a weigh-in, probably Wednesday, so she can make sure she isn't continuing to lose too much weight. She also said she doesn't expect them to be back at their birth weight until about 2 weeks of age. We liked her a lot; she seems concerned about important things but relaxed about others, that we feel relaxed about as well, like our dog licking her. She asked if we had pets and said it was great that we did since they have studies now showing that kids growing up with pets are generally a bit heartier. So we are really happy with her!

The LC hasn't called back so I may call the more expensive one to see if I can get a hold of her... I think either way it would be a good idea to have her come to the house and observe.

Oh and no, I'm not doing the placenta pills... I am eating my lact cookies though and I am starting mother's milk tea.
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  #13  
October 27th, 2012, 07:11 AM
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Congrats Nina! I don't know if you remember me but I was in the TTC rooms with you. My son is now 6 months old and I am still BFing him. I wanted to chime in.

Our first few weeks were ROUGH, not just with BFing but just adjusting to a new baby in the house. Remember that your hormones are ALL over the place with a new baby so it makes it even more difficult at first. Plus, this is a BRAND NEW experiance for you both so it will take some time for you to both figure it out.

First of all, AWESOME that you are seeing an LC. I have one that I saw a few times and she did wonders for us. Second, remember that newborns tummies are very tiny so they don't need much milk at first. My milk didn't even come in for 3 days and all he got was colostrum (sp?). It is AMAZING that you are able to pump 1.5 ounces. I couldn't do that for weeks.

As for latch, it took both of us some time to figure that out. It is normal. The LC should be able to watch you and tell you if you are doing anything wrong or give you some tips. My LC told me to try nursing skin to skin, and rubbing his back to keep him from sleeping. Nursing is comforting for them so it makes them drowsy and sleepy.

As for sleeping in your bed, the outside world is so new to a newborn. Everything is bright and loud! It takes some time for them to get used to it. Being near you is comforting to her. After all, she was inside you for 9 months! It is totally normal for a newborn to want to be near their mommy. And yes, you will do ANYTHING for a few hours of sleep. I SOOO remember that.

Just remember, it does get better. I PROMISE. There were some days that I thought it wouldn't. But it does. BFing, sleeping, everything. I hope it will make you feel better to know that everything you are going through is normal and soon, you will have a routine that will work for you all.

Feel free to PM me if you have questions or find me on Facebook. I am sending you my info in a PM. Good luck and congrats again!
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  #14  
October 27th, 2012, 07:19 AM
jlstebbins's Avatar *Super*Mega*Mommy*
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Congrats to you and DH!!

And im sorry she isnt sleeping. We totally had the same problem. Coleson slept in the bassinet at the hospital and we got home and wouldnt have anything to do with it. I (outta desperation) put in on my tummy, with my head propped up with 2 pillows, and he slept for like 2 hours at a time that way. I felt guilty b/c of the habit it could cause and the safety risks involved. My friend let me borrow her fisher price rock and play and he has been sleeping in it ever since at night.

Welcome baby with a Fisher-Price Newborn Rock 'n Play Sleeper at Walmart.com. Save money. Live better.

It is a bit reclined so he loves it, instead of him being flat on his back. It is worth a shot if you think you would like to try it. You could always take it back if it wasnt working or keep it for later on down the road. Good luck!!

I hope you get some good advice from the LC and hope she latches soon. As long as she has poopy diapers and pee pee diapers she is fine.
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  #15  
October 27th, 2012, 08:31 AM
Summerdays12's Avatar Erin&Aaron's1st!
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You're doing everything right! She will get the hang of BF'ing. My little guy was sooooooooo hard to wake up to eat and once he was on.. poof back in dream land. He still does this. I contacted my LC when he was a week old and she said it is hard work for new babies to Bf and it's tiring for them. She also said they suck and stop and that's totally normal. My baby will not sleep in his pack n' play lol. He does not like to be flat. He sleeps in a rock n' play sleeper. It hugs and craddles him. I do have to say that he has slept a few nights in bed with us just because that's what he needed. Back to BF'ing....this has been the most challenging thing that I have ever done. I see my little guys face and I know I'm doing the best for him. There are days I want to give up but I don't. Hang in there and I hope you get to talk to an LC soon. One more thing. I was talking to my LC yesterday just because I feel like my baby may not be getting enough milk and maybe his latch is not mastered yet. She mentioned that baby massage helps in the issues I may be having (latch etc.).
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  #16  
October 27th, 2012, 08:51 AM
Peytonsmomma
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You have to remember there is no right or wrong way to be a parent so dont beat yourself up, if she eats your milk better off a bottle go that route, you also have to remember she heard your sounds for 9 months i have the sheep off bru that plays rain sounds, the mamma bear from there is excellent to! Theron slept with us the past three weeks just last night i put him in the rock n play sleeper as that is what he naps in and he slept amazing!!!! Bottom liine do what works best for you!
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  #17  
October 27th, 2012, 09:00 AM
Summerdays12's Avatar Erin&Aaron's1st!
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I also have a little gadget that plays sounds.. rain, heartbeat, ocean, etc. I leave it on all night so it's not totally quiet in the room. I have the Sound Spa Lullaby from Target but I have not used it yet as the one we have is working so well.
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  #18  
October 27th, 2012, 10:44 AM
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The best advice I ever read was "the best sleeping arrangement is the one where everyone gets the most sleep." If that means in bed with you, then that's where she belongs
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  #19  
October 27th, 2012, 10:50 AM
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I third the Rock n Play sleeper. Meghan wouldn't sleep one minute in the hospital isolette, but loves that. Also, do you have a Miracle Blanket? It truly has been awesome. Hang in there! We had a rough night too last night, so I'm an emotional wreck this morning. Good days and bad days. Hang in there, you are an amazing mom!!
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  #20  
October 27th, 2012, 10:57 AM
Peytonsmomma
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marysbeth~ whats the miracle blanket?
theron has been a great sleeper but this week he got his manhood chopped and the third week growing spurt and i think hes allergic to tylenol, any amount that i give him he projectile vomits it ( my daughter was allergic to meds also) so its been a rough week with sleep and pain
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