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Forum: October 2012 Playroom

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  #21  
December 14th, 2012, 02:45 PM
Jinnah
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All of the co-sleeping websites I have read, say that older children and babies under one year should not share a bed. Just wanted to put that information out there, but obviously, I'm not God.
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  #22  
December 14th, 2012, 04:17 PM
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The concern is big kid rolling on to baby. Impossible if they are separated by 2 adults.
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  #23  
December 15th, 2012, 06:40 AM
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I think cuatx said this, if you want them to have bm that long put it in a cup, As far as co sleeping that is not for our family. I don't feel comfortable it scares me. Plus I like having my time and I feel that is the only time I have to myself. Everyone has their opinion and that is what makes the world go around.
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  #24  
December 15th, 2012, 07:53 AM
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Ditto Rach!
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  #25  
December 15th, 2012, 08:28 AM
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i dunno cuatx. sometimes even now i wish ruby were bottle fed. does that mean its time to wean because im not happy? no.

the rest of what you said is your opinion. i am not one to give social more clout than mother nature. that's my opinion too i guess.
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  #26  
December 15th, 2012, 10:30 AM
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Sounds as though I am an extreme parent Frankly the kind of representation on Dr. Phil of attachment parenting drives me crackers. It's also incredibly insulting. I would not have imagined myself breastfeeding a preschooler but my oldest son weaned at 3 - on his own. If I hadn't been pregnant then he might have very well breastfed for at least another year. Baby led weaning is common across the world. That something is against a social norm is difficult for most people, and may seem 'unnatural', but i'm amazed by the things that do seem natural but which are of course human-made convention (drinking another animal's milk, for instance. The irony that we're grossed out by older kids drinking breastmilk but not grossed out by them drinking milk from a cow is never lost on me).

As for cosleeping. We just started to all share the family bed and we have adults separating the boys... I wouldn't have them share bed space but this is working well.

The most crazy-making thing for me is the question of attachment and dependence. First, there is NOTHING dependent about an infant. They rely on us for EVERYTHING, including soothing. Scientific research shows that baby's do not have the capacity to soothe themselves (very increased stress response), and that when stressed without being soothed that their central nervous system develops differently (later in life kids left to cry it out, for instance, develop an over stimulated stress response which puts them at greater risk for almost all chronic diseases). Critically, though, being an attentive, gentle parent arguably produces humans who are healthily attached later in life. The idea behind attachment parenting is to forge a very strong and safe connection between a child and caregiver which is internalized by the child, engendering confidence and a strong sense of self. It is NOT to make them dependent.. but INTERdependent.

My very attached 3 year old is incredibly flexible, independent, and friendly. He never, ever cries when I leave him at school, and is more than happy for me to leave him at friends' house and with sitters.

Sure, he doesn't want to sleep on his own, and my strong sense is that he very much benefits from being close at night.

Attachment parenting is not easy, it's difficult to do for many reasons, but I wouldn't and couldn't parent differently. I find representations such as those on Dr. Phil to be pretty offensive.
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  #27  
December 15th, 2012, 11:29 AM
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zubelidia, i love you!
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  #28  
December 15th, 2012, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristenpie View Post
zubelidia, i love you!
I'm going to ditto that!
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  #29  
December 15th, 2012, 03:08 PM
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^^Me too!!
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  #30  
December 15th, 2012, 03:54 PM
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^^^ me three, very well put!
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  #31  
December 15th, 2012, 03:56 PM
LucilleTwo's Avatar Andrea, mama to L & E
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I'm not sure what's worse; believing that nursing a toddler is done solely to "meet the mother's unmet emotional needs" or saying it knowing full well that there are many mothers in our group who have practiced extended breastfeeding (also known simply as breastfeeding.)
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Last edited by LucilleTwo; December 15th, 2012 at 03:58 PM.
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  #32  
December 15th, 2012, 04:15 PM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think this article is great, and that ALL of you should read it, please.

InCultureParent | Breastfeeding in the Land of Genghis Khan
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  #33  
December 15th, 2012, 05:51 PM
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Interesting article. I wouldn't personally be comfortable breastfeeding beyond maybe 2 years old ... But 2each their own.
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  #34  
December 15th, 2012, 08:57 PM
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Kristen, I first saw that article about a year ago, and have never forgotten it. So eye opening!
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  #35  
December 16th, 2012, 09:42 PM
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I think what's great here is that everyone cares very much about their babies and kids, no matter how long they are breastfeeding or where the babies are sleeping!
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