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Help! My girl does not want me to put her down!


Forum: October 2012 Playroom

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  #21  
January 8th, 2013, 10:59 AM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was just trying to help because it was obvious you didnt want the response to be that you should hold the baby all day when you were looking for other ways in order to get things done. Hope something works for you!
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  #22  
January 8th, 2013, 11:15 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah your definition of crying it out isn't the same as mine. Thanks for clarifying!
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  #23  
January 8th, 2013, 11:17 AM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thats why i said a couple of different times i dont walk away from him but i dont hold him all day. But I also dont run to him once he starts crying.
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  #24  
January 8th, 2013, 12:46 PM
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I'm like you Michelle. I am trying my best not to run to her every time she wimpers. She has gotten better at settling herself if she wakes up during a nap or at night. I really feel like a couple of times I've kept her from going back to sleep because I've picked her up. That being said, when she is full out crying, I'm gonna hold her. But once she falls to sleep, I lay her down in her RNP. I have a five year old to care for and dinner, clothes, and a full time job. It's all a balancing act. You have to find out what works best for you, and every day will be different!
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  #25  
January 8th, 2013, 01:02 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Completely agreed. ^^^ I didnt have a baby to stop feeding and cleaning myself. He has needs and sodp I and im sure we will not lose our bond because he wakes up from a nap while hos mommy is in the shower.
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  #26  
January 8th, 2013, 01:11 PM
ashley5's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sorry I think people take crying it out too literal. There's a difference of letting your baby cry a little while you're close by, as appose to them whailing for 30 minutes. At this age I believe when we say cry it out, it's letting them fuss for a couple of minutes. Will I drop what I'm doing every single time he fusses, no, but if he doesn't stop shortly yes I'll go over and attend to him. Is my way wrong, heck no it works for us. Do I think I'm doing permanent damage no of course not I love my baby. Do I think people that do hold their babies and drop everything wrong, no of course not it's what works for them. I think it's a little blown out of proportion.

Op just give it time and keep trying new soothing techniques.
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  #27  
January 8th, 2013, 01:25 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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I think the reason things get blown out of proportion is because of statements like this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by michellelove0502 View Post
i will let him cry it out because I dont have time to walk around with him all day. I woild try to pick her up less each day lol
Honestly it sounds like a poor baby is being ignored because Mom feels she has more important things to do. When I read that I thought to myself, "OMG she's ignoring her baby and then "lol"-ing about it! " Obviously Michelle has clarified herself and that's not what she meant, but when I read things like that it totally sets me on edge. Not being able to see someones facial expressions, hear their tone, and interact them while in a conversation makes understanding them really tough sometimes.
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  #28  
January 8th, 2013, 01:40 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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First and foremost I raise my child the way I raise MY child how dare you judge me and tell me what to do. I never once said i walk away from him and leave him alone in a room. I clearly said i try other methods such as the pacifier or the swing. His pediatrician suggested that I shouldnt be picking him up every second of his life so dont suggest to me what I should be doing with my 3 month old child who I love with every single part of me. You need a relaity check if you think the only way to parent is your way and holding your child 24/7 and not bathing yourself. I dont judge you for not having proper hygeine so do not judge me and tell me what i should do with my child when I am not harming him in any way shape or form.
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  #29  
January 8th, 2013, 01:45 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Whoa! I'm not telling you what to do at all...I'm just pointing out that when someone writes something online, it is really easy to misinterpret! I misinterpreted your first statement, and then through conversation, learned what you really meant. It's so easy to do that online, and that's why I think sometimes we have heated conversations. It's also why it pays to read a whole thread and not just skip around, because when you read the whole conversation, you learn a lot more about what people are saying.

I was trying to say that I learn from these conversations...that's all.
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  #30  
January 8th, 2013, 01:46 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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In that same exact post that you quoted I clearly said if he has a dry diaper and is fed and I am near him I do not rush to pick him up. No where did I say i have more important things to do. You should read clearly first before you jump down someones throat. I dont come on here for advice on how to be a mother or to be judged. I have seen people be criticized multiple times but I refuse to let that happen to me. I am very supportive for everyone and do not judge or criticize so do not do that to me.
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  #31  
January 8th, 2013, 01:47 PM
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And just for the record, I bathe myself every day
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  #32  
January 8th, 2013, 01:48 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sorry, I wasnt talking to you. I was talking to cuatx because you actually realized that I was misinterpreted. I dont appreciate a person telling me not to say I let my 3 month old cry it out when I gave examples as to what I do and it does not involve leaving him alone. So no, I am not making a bad parenting choice.
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  #33  
January 8th, 2013, 01:49 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Oh...thought you were mad at me Gosh, if we could just all get together and have these conversations in person, this would be SO much easier!
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Last edited by KMH; January 8th, 2013 at 01:52 PM.
  #34  
January 8th, 2013, 01:53 PM
abur's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Teeniemama, I feel like we have the same life! My hubs isn't in school, but he works his butt off to provide for us. And I too feel like a failure if dinner isn't on at night! You'll find something that works, promise. Hannah is the same way. She just loves her mama! I think being a SAHM does that to them? They know we are always at their beck and call and see us 99% of the time fulfilling their needs. Ove noticed when I give my MIL time with Hannah, she goes right to sleep. As soon as I get her back, she needs something! They know us so well just by our scent. I suggest trying everything you can to soothe her and you WILL find something that works for you! Good luck!
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  #35  
January 8th, 2013, 01:54 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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No, you actually realized that I didnt say that I abandon Jayden. I am just very angry right now and I always see other people getting attacked and I am not the kind of person who will let anyone talk to them that kind of way whether its online or in person. I am an amazing mother to Jayden and if the whole post would have been read we wouldnt have this issue. i had to explain myself over 5 times because everyone is so quick to judge. She was asking advice on how to be able to put her baby down so I gave my suggestions and thats that.
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  #36  
January 8th, 2013, 01:56 PM
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Ashley, I have been on JM long enough to hear about mothers letting 2 month olds cry for 30 minutes. May be hard to believe, but I guarantee that MANY people do it. There is a crackhead doctor somewhere out there informing parents that babies should be STTN by 15 lbs, I hear that one a lot on here. I know that's off the subject but I just wanted to explain that I'm not exaggerating. Whimpering a few minutes while you get out of the shower is different than for example making your baby cry for 30 minutes so they'll take a nap so that you can shower.
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  #37  
January 8th, 2013, 01:58 PM
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I think it would be impossible to abandon a baby that adorable...my goodness I just want to squish Jayden's cheeks! You're going to have to chase the girls away from him when he gets older
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  #38  
January 8th, 2013, 02:01 PM
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I think Michelle has made it more than obvious that she does not just leave her baby to just cry without being soothed in some way. I hate this fighting and I hate how people are ignoring what she is saying so you will have a scapegoat. Leave her alone.
  #39  
January 8th, 2013, 02:01 PM
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Kristen, that makes me physically ill.
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  #40  
January 8th, 2013, 02:04 PM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Lol thank you for making me smile in a very challenging mood.

Kristen - completely understandable but I would NEVER do that to my son. I may not pick him up every time he cries but I am always there with him helping him feel better. I dont have to wait for Jayden to take a nap to do what I need to get done becahse the boy practically sleeps all day. Like I said I dont have to carry Jayden around because hes rarely fussy unless its a growth spurt.

But in general not to anyone in particular I do not feel like judging someone is the right thing to do especially when I explained myself probably 5 times. There are people who do believe in letting their children cry, for example the movie meet the fockers was all about that. I may not believe that but its not child abuse and if someone else on this board believes in it then who am I to judge them.
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