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Gah! This poor baby isn't getting enough sleep!


Forum: October 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
January 16th, 2013, 12:12 AM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
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Okay, so having a VERY active 4 year old who wants my attention all the time has been making me extremely grumpy lately. Why? Because he KEEPS WAKING UP THE BABY!! Sometimes on accident, but more often on purpose. I'll be holding Jamison, and Josiah will come into the room, see Jamison is sleeping, and STOMP his foot as hard as he can on the floor and grin, or walk past the bassinet where Jamison is sleeping and push the music button, or blow in his face. GAH!!! If he does one of those things and manages NOT to wake the baby up, and I try to discipline him, then his all out temper tantrum on the way to "time out" is what wakes the baby up. I can't win. I mean, the upswing is that Jamison is sleeping really well at night, but I know he needs more sleep during the day than he is getting. Sometimes I just wish I could have him be my "only" like Josiah was, and could cater to his every need... but man, it is different when they are not your firstborn.
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  #2  
January 16th, 2013, 12:28 AM
yashobo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Same experience here Hugs. That's why I am so happy she is starting school. Luyando slept so well during the day when dd1 was in school on tuesday
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  #3  
January 16th, 2013, 12:36 AM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow I cannot believe he does things like that. I have a 4 year old niece and she tells me to be quiet when the baby is sleeping. Hopefully whatever punishment you gives him works because I would not be able to tolerate that!
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  #4  
January 16th, 2013, 01:41 AM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
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He has been a strong willed child from birth, and is going through an especially defiant stage right now that is DEFINITELY testing our patience! And believe me, we've tried it all with him. He loves to yank our chain, even if it means timeouts, loss of privileges, etc. We even had one episode where he opted to have us box up all of his toys (not joking, every.single. one) and take them away for two days rather than do what we were asking him to do. Don't get me wrong, he is not a devil child... he can be incredibly sweet and well behaved (and IS at school!). But when he chooses to be naughty, he puts 100% of his effort into it!
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  #5  
January 16th, 2013, 01:46 AM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow lol well hopefully this stage ends soon!!
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  #6  
January 16th, 2013, 01:56 AM
KatherineD's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ugh! Mine do too, but not on purpose. Girls are LOUD!

I have a spirited child, so maybe a suggestion of what I would do with her. When discipling him, try to remain as calm as possible a d very matter of factory put him in time out. And do so immediately, even if it means Jamison has to cry for a short bit. Also, is Josiah getting enough 1 on 1 time with you? Make it a point to spend some extra time with him so maybe that'll curb some of the behavior issues. I wouldn't be able to put up with that for long. I'd probably go crazy, lol!
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  #7  
January 16th, 2013, 02:59 AM
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Girls are loud. The funny thing with Reed is that he sleeps better with choas around than quite. Lol. I put hin in his room and he wakes up. I let him sleep in the living room and he snozes away.

I sure hope he gets past thia stage for you!
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  #8  
January 16th, 2013, 04:21 AM
bryan and nina's Avatar Love being a mommy!
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Gosh I'm sorry Sarah! That sounds incredibly frustrating!! Hopefully this phase passes soon!!
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  #9  
January 16th, 2013, 05:22 AM
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I think boys in general can be not as caring or motherly like as little girls. When we first brough Hunter home from the hospital Ava went through a stage like that, just very defient in general. I'd tell her to do something, she'd say no, or just be a little stinker. Our probably was I had been traveling and away so much that she missed me, then I had Hunter and he was getting all my attention. So I set up some quality one on one time with her while Hunter was sleeping, just holding her in my lap, playing with her hair, and then running in circles around the house. The whole stage for her lasted a couple of weeks.

she's not as old as your son, and from what i've heard is they can be even bigger stinkers when they hit age 3/4, not looking forward to that.

hmmmm does he like "helping" with the baby? like changing diapers, picking out clothes to wear? It's just an annoying stage, but stay strong! they can be the sweetest little kids, but then have a devilish grin when they are doing something naughty and staring right at you, lol I understand especially with a strong willed child it can be even more interesting. I found with Ava she didn't like being put in her room, on her bed, with the door shut in timeout. I tried the corner but that didn't have the same effect.

Good luck, and just think this too shall pass.
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  #10  
January 16th, 2013, 06:17 AM
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yikes! I have a feeling that's how Michael will be with our next child...lol!
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  #11  
January 16th, 2013, 08:52 AM
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You're not alone! I think everyone I know with two more has gone through this!
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  #12  
January 16th, 2013, 09:13 AM
jlstebbins's Avatar *Super*Mega*Mommy*
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YEP...your not alone. My 8 year old is old enough though that he knows better and will get into serious trouble if he wakes up Coleson on purpose. But with a 4 year old, its totally different. They are just testing you and are seeing how you react. And Josiah looks like just the sweetest kid!! (Cutie)!! Its just a phase and it will pass! It may take awhile, but it cant last forever, thats the good news!
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  #13  
January 16th, 2013, 09:15 AM
Summerdays12's Avatar Erin&Aaron's1st!
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I agree with the 1-1 time with Josiah. He seems to be seeking attention even if that means by him having negative behavior. Have you tried ignoring the negative behavior and only give him the 'extra' attention for when he does something really good? Maybe the only 'extra' attention he is getting from you is when he stomps his feet, blows in the baby's face, etc. He is definitely getting a reaction out of you and that's what he probably wants. Ignoring the negative behavior isn't a fast "fix-it" to the problem but if you stick to that for a while it just may work. For example- Josiah stomps his feet near the baby and he wakes up. Try not to say whatever it is you usually say to him or do what you usually do because it seems not to be working. He is outsmarting you lol. Throw him off and ignore it. Stay calm get the baby then just redirect Josiah to something else. But don't let him think that behavior is good either. Don't smile at him, but don't let him get that reaction he is looking for. Just focus on praising him A LOT for all of the wonderful things that he does..let him know that he will get a reaction out (for good behavior) of you and he will satisfy that need for extra attention that way. Also, when the baby is asleep and you just know Josiah is up to something (about to wake the baby) redirect him before he does it. I know that can be tiring being his shadow so you can catch him before he does the negative behavior but that may work too. I hope this all makes sense. I taught Headstart (3 and 4 year olds) for 13 years and we were not allowed to give time-outs so this is how we handled the children who were defiant. It was a lot of work but we were usually successful using this method.
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  #14  
January 16th, 2013, 11:10 AM
marinewife01's Avatar Super Mommy
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My 5 year old is the same way, he is always getting in his face and messing with him and I have to tell him over and over to leave the baby alone that he is sleeping!
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  #15  
January 16th, 2013, 11:16 AM
jlstebbins's Avatar *Super*Mega*Mommy*
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Cuatx- I agree 100%!! Thats a great idea!
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  #16  
January 16th, 2013, 12:09 PM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cuatx View Post
Instead of discipline, have you tried redirection followed with positive attention? New babies take up a lot of our time, and he's probably feeling a bit left out... and as they say "Negative attention is better than no attention." When he does that, he is getting one-on-one time with you instantly, and is holding your attention with his tantrum, which to him is better than nothing.
IMO try completely ignoring what he does and when you see him going to do this, immediately intervene and say "Hey, can you go get me a book/toy/etc to play with you?" If you see have time to see him blow in his face or push the button, you have time to be proactive! OR, before he's even asleep, tell him "As soon as Jamison is asleep, we're going to do ____ together so we need to be quiet so I can spend that time with you."

I started with telling my son from day one "If you wake your brother while he's napping, I have less time to spend with you alone." It worked great, he loves the time he gets just with me, and he tries very hard to be quiet when baby is sleeping.

It sucks but it might need a different approach
Your words are my exact words every day. And I don't agree with the first sentence about always having time to be proactive. He is intentionally doing these things as quickly as he can, and very rarely lets on that he is plotting to do them. He usually is being super sweet and then all the sudden punches the bassinet button and runs, or is cuddling with me and then blows in the baby's face. He isn't patient enough for the as soon as Jamison is asleep line... if the baby isn't out in about 2 minutes, he's done. He is getting much better about entertaining himself on his own, which I am grateful for! It is a huge step for him since he was used to having 100% of my attention all the time. We are keeping a star chart with four "goals" for the day on it, and I give a report to Daddy when he gets home from work about whether or not he gets the stars for the day. This worked for about a week, and is starting not to work. So, we'll keep loving on him, and doing our very best to be good parents And yes, I am trying very hard to give him one on one time.
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  #17  
January 16th, 2013, 01:40 PM
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Riley has woken Eve up a couple of times. Oh, man, does that make Mama mad! He wakes her up, then asks me to come play. I tell him that I could play with him if Eve was sleeping, but he woke her up and now I can't. It's attention seeking behavior for him. Luckily he's only done it a couple of times.
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  #18  
January 16th, 2013, 07:56 PM
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You're definitely not alone! Both of mine do this too. The 6 year old and the 17 month old! Like its their JOB! :hugs:
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  #19  
January 16th, 2013, 09:15 PM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Mine do it but not on purpose. They all just want to love and hold her and touch her, even when she's sleeping. My boys are 5 and 7 so they're quiet and leave her be when she's asleep. Lila's not quite 3 so she doesn't quite get that yet. Its the main reason I hold Ailish while she sleeps. She gets good sleep and she's up and away from the overly loving hands of her sister. I know most people wouldn't want to do that but I've always held my kids when they sleep and just because she's the fourth doesn't mean I don't still want to do that with her. I've gotten exceptionally good at doing just about everything one handed--from helping Lila on the potty, to folding laundry, to making dinner. haha
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  #20  
January 16th, 2013, 11:08 PM
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cuatx~ i love what you said! it actually works!


my daughter is extremely hyper starting at 5am lol but i will say that when its nap time, she will tell me to shush, but i can tell when she needs mommy time she will not leave me alone and constantly clingy, so i take her in the kitchen and let her cook with me or we watch the lorax together, she loves it when i let her work out with me...even just that tiny little things help make a difference, if it still isnt working i talk to her like i would a adult and ask her why she is pouting or upset and she will usually give me a answer and then i switch her attention, she does get impatient every morning bc she wants more to eat at breakfast so i tell her to wait until after i feed brother and she stops what she is doing...good luck!!
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