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Forum: October 2012 Playroom

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  #1  
February 27th, 2013, 08:23 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It's become clear to me that I need to step down from co-hosting this board.

I'm hearing more about how people are afraid to post things here because they will not be supported, which means that I am not succeeding at my job. Ironically, a part of why I wanted to co-host was to support people in speaking their minds and sharing their points of views.

I don't think this group does well with balancing members sharing things and then other members sharing opposing feedback. It would be wonderful if we had an atmosphere where both sides were supported. I have seen some groups do a great job at this, but this mix of members seem to prefer a place where there are less opposing points of views and more approval and positive support. I hate that supposedly some members don't post here anymore because of it, and I hope that whoever takes my place can do a better job at fixing the atmosphere here. JM saved my sanity when I was a first time mom, and I don't want to take that away from other moms that need a safe place.

I don't think that a co-host needs to be totally impartial on every topic, but I do think within this particular group it does. And I am not willing to change my personality for the sake of this group. So I am handing the baton to someone else, who has more of a quiet and impartial personality who can better represent this group. My posting habits will not change at all, aside from me not doing the photo contest or the DITL game anymore. I will still be just as vocal as always. But hopefully having me as a normal member and not a co-host will help others feel more safe to share things.

Good luck to whoever decides to give it the next shot.
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  #2  
February 27th, 2013, 08:52 AM
KMH KMH is offline
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This makes me very sad

I understand, though
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  #3  
February 27th, 2013, 08:57 AM
cincy1luv's Avatar 1st time mommy
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I will speak for myself here! I think you do a great job!! You post alot, come up with great ideas, give GREAT feedback, and I do think you have a open mind to alot of things. I am a first time mom and I do come here and read alot and post because parenting does not come with a book and I look for your words and support you have to give. I may not agree so I do things the way I think is best for me and my family but over all I think you are great and somethings you say I believe and follow through with!! Thats what this site is about! Heck I have seen other people post and I just leave it be because I dont want to go back and forth and get things started. I so dont think you stepping down will change anything. I think you do a wonderful job!!!! I just know you from on here but if I was to meet you and hang out with the kids etc I think you would be one of those ladies I could get close to and learn alot from!!!

I do understand though!
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  #4  
February 27th, 2013, 09:12 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you cincy1luv, that means a lot to me.
And thank you cuatx and KMH.
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  #5  
February 27th, 2013, 09:17 AM
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Ok, I'm going to step up and say this because you have said numerous times that you want people to voice their opinions and tell it like it is. I appreciate all the advice you give. You feel very strongly about things and I like that you are passionate about things. That being said, you have hurt my feelings on several issues because I felt like you came across as your way being the only way. After reading numerous posts, I feel that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I tend to be a peace maker, which my hubby tells me I have to get stronger skin. Whether or not we agree on topics or delivery methods, I think you are a great mom and seem to have beautiful, happy, well-adjusted children. I wish you all the best, and I will miss your sassiness as co-host!
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  #6  
February 27th, 2013, 09:19 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry to see you stepping down. I think you've been doing a great job! It is so hard to be an impartial co-host. While I enjoyed my time as co-host for both Pregnancy Loss and the November 2012 DDC/PR, I realized that hosting is not for me either. I'm glad to see you'll be sticking around and still posting because I agree that sometimes the most supportive thing you can do for someone is not give them a pat on the back, but present an alternative way of thinking and it's up to them what they do with that information. However, wording in those situations is so important and I think we could all benefit from thinking a little bit more about how we say things.

I hope we can still do the photo contest and DITL because I've loved those!
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  #7  
February 27th, 2013, 09:26 AM
Jinnah
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Please don't stop doing the photo contest and DITL!!

I love your opinions, so you better keep posting! I do think as as co-host you have to bite your tongue at times, so if that's something you don't like doing, then I understand why you would not want to be co-host.
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  #8  
February 27th, 2013, 09:38 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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marybethsmom, thanks for being honest! You should definitely always say something when someone hurts your feelings! Sorry I made you feel badly! Wish you would have told me when it happened.

Jinnah, I am going to leave the board games up to the co-hosts to maintain if they want to. They take up a chunk of free time that I am not comfortable committing to right now with things feeling awkward and me knowing that certain members blame me.
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  #9  
February 27th, 2013, 09:45 AM
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I understand your reasoning for stepping down. I loved all the topics and games you posted!
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  #10  
February 27th, 2013, 09:45 AM
Jinnah
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristenpie View Post
marybethsmom, thanks for being honest! You should definitely always say something when someone hurts your feelings! Sorry I made you feel badly! Wish you would have told me when it happened.

Jinnah, I am going to leave the board games up to the co-hosts to maintain if they want to. They take up a chunk of free time that I am not comfortable committing to right now with things feeling awkward and me knowing that certain members blame me.
Kristen, am I missing something?? What are you being blamed for??
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  #11  
February 27th, 2013, 09:48 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For not promoting a supportive environment for our members, for making people feel unwelcome, etc.

I'm just not going to invest as much of my personal time to this playroom if I am no longer the co-host.
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  #12  
February 27th, 2013, 09:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Belita View Post
I agree that sometimes the most supportive thing you can do for someone is not give them a pat on the back, but present an alternative way of thinking and it's up to them what they do with that information.
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  #13  
February 27th, 2013, 09:56 AM
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I wasn't aware that you were being blamed, I think we all disagree with each other here and there but it's no one's fault. But I do understand.
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  #14  
February 27th, 2013, 10:09 AM
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I hope you do not feel like I was directing what I said towards you. You are not the person who calledne a b****. I do not feel like you are one of the people who create a hostile atmosphere because you usually do not chime in until a post is already completely out of hand. Although we do not agree on a lot, I do not think you have made the board negative.
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  #15  
February 27th, 2013, 10:15 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you Michelle, that means a lot!
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  #16  
February 27th, 2013, 10:26 AM
michellelove0502's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sure, I just wanted to clear that up. I think you bring a lot of creativity to this board and I still believe there are particular people who ruin that. I know I seem very stubborn but it just makes me sad to see so many people get their feelings hurt. I do not think you have caused that though.
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  #17  
February 27th, 2013, 10:33 AM
Jinnah
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Michelle is correct. It isn't you. I honestly think you bring a lot of fun to this board, and we are all going to miss it if you do step down. Can you reconsider?
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  #18  
February 27th, 2013, 10:53 AM
JillMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Kristen, you know I luv you. I'm sorry that you feel like you have to step down, but I totally understand too.
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  #19  
February 27th, 2013, 11:03 AM
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Kristen, I absolutely love you and I am so sad to see this post. I really wish you would reconsider I completely understand where you are coming from though. I wouldn't want to put so much time and effort into something that ended up having people make you feel as if you are the big bad wolf. You have a brutal honesty about you and that is what makes you such a darn good host.

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  #20  
February 27th, 2013, 11:18 AM
*AngieKH*'s Avatar Mom of 4
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I also am sad to see you step down. I haven't been posting a lot, but I do still try to read posts and get advice here, because there are always things to learn about being a parent. I don't always agree with everyone, but of course that's normal! I do appreciate getting other opinions and as long as people are not rude, I am fine with differing opinions. That's kinda the point of a large group of moms I think.
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