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Help with non-Jewish hubby...


Forum: Jewish Parenting

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  #1  
September 15th, 2008, 08:48 AM
I'm Sam, Sadie's Mommy!!!
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Here!
Posts: 2,529
I am currently about 16w pregnant with our first (and only!) little one. We don't know the sex of the baby yet, but in a discussion this weekend, DH mentioned that he was not keen on having a bris if it's a little boy. He thinks it is much safer...etc. if the baby is circumcised in the hospital by a doctor. What do I do???? Nothing I said seemed to change his mind. He knows it's important to me and we are raising our child in a Jewish home (DH and his family are Christians, but don't go to church...). I don't know what I can say. I have gotten him to agree to talk to our Rabbi, but I don't know whatelse to do.

Any suggestions?
Thanks in advance,
Sam
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2 YEAR well visit 3-18-2011: 22.4lbs, 33.75".
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  #2  
September 16th, 2008, 10:18 AM
Bluebunnygirl1's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 10,133
Is there any possibility for a compromise? We have a hospital here that will do the circumcision with rabbi and family present.
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  #3  
September 17th, 2008, 06:15 PM
Mom2DavidandAaron's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Mexico City
Posts: 3,227
Actually, a circumcision performed by a qualified mohel is MUCH better than a hospital circumcision- in every aspect. In a hospital circumcisio, the baby is strapped down to a table, the procedure lasts about 10 minutes and many times, the parents aren't even allowed in. During a bris, the baby is held by a caring relative (usually a grandfather), a bris takes literally less than a minute (which makes it much less painful) and yo ucan be right there to bf afterwards, which also helps with pain. As a former med student and Jewish woman I've seen both types. I'd NEVER choose a hospital circumcision over a bris, and not only for the religious implications, but because in all honesty, mohels are more experienced, faster and gentler than doctor.
But don't take my word for it, show him this:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html...75BC0A961958260
http://www.jewishsf.com/content/2-0-/modul...splaystory.html

Here's also the website of Cantor Sherman, he performs what he calls "holistic circumcision". Thing is, many non-Jewish parents are realizing that you don't need a hospital to have a circumcision. And many prefer the home environment for many reasons: less traumatic for baby, baby more accesible to mom afterwards, and less risk of hospital related infections. He provides that service and I've met women who used him and they were very happy.
http://www.holisticircumcision.com/holistic.htm

Here's also a list of mohels that are also MDs. maybe you can find one in your area and you can still have a bris, and your DH can feel more at ease that the mohel is a doctor.
http://www.beritmila.org/downloads/noamDirectory.pdf

Sharon
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  #4  
September 21st, 2008, 05:41 AM
mamabeeto3's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 912
Hi,
While both my husband and I are both Jewish our son was in the NICU and released the 8th day. Our pediatrician is Jewish and has done circumcision before. We brought the kippot, mogen david, and did the bris/circumcision in the office. We later did a naming which was his celebration with all at the synagogue.

I have to agree about circumcision though - I have heard horror stories from others about the circumcisions their children had. Many said make sure you pull the skin back so it doesn't grow back together. Another had issues with the string?? I was like what the heck are they talking about. Caden had no foreskin left to pull back, no string/bell attached. We had to put some bactracin on him and in 7 days he was all good.

I hope you and your husband can come to an agreement.
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  #5  
September 25th, 2008, 09:39 AM
I'm Sam, Sadie's Mommy!!!
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Here!
Posts: 2,529
Thank you ladies. I appreciate the feedback! I have found a jewish doctor near here that does circumcisions for bris. I will ask DH about that option and see if the doctor would be willing to do it in his office...maybe that might make DH feel better about things...

I'll let you know what happens. We won't know the sex until our November scan so it's not too far off, I guess. Though I want to know now! LOL!

Thanks again!
Sam

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2 YEAR well visit 3-18-2011: 22.4lbs, 33.75".
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  #6  
October 27th, 2008, 07:57 AM
I'm Sam, Sadie's Mommy!!!
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Here!
Posts: 2,529
Crisis averted! It's a girl!!!!!!! We're looking forward to meeting Sadie in March!

Thank you for all of your help!!!!!
Sam
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2 YEAR well visit 3-18-2011: 22.4lbs, 33.75".
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