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  #1  
January 2nd, 2006, 08:18 AM
Llamamama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Salem, MA
Posts: 4,091
For those of you in interfaith marriages...

How much does your partner participate?
How do you handle holidays with the kids?
How do you make it work?

Just curious! We're having our first and we just have so many questions.
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  #2  
January 2nd, 2006, 08:39 AM
Katzchen
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My husband and I are having our first as well, and I was wondering the same things!

As far as religious participation, my husband does not go to services (but I have not in a while either) but does observe Chanukah, Pesach, and Rosh Hashanah with me.

As far as holidays, our children will celebrate all of the Jewish holidays, but have a secular christmas celebration at my dh's parents home. They aren't religious, and their christmas is completely about Santa Claus, not Christ so I hope our son won't be too confused.

I am anxious to hear how others make this work!
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  #3  
January 2nd, 2006, 03:56 PM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,422
Hi girls, well we have done this. My husband does go to the childrens sevices during the High Holy Days.(usually because the kids participate) I am horrible about the Sabbath. I really should be better. The kids go to religious school and My 8 yr old will start Hebrew school next year. We have Passover in our home with 5-6 other families (usually non-jewish) and have a blast. We read the kids Haggadah. I did not do a bris only because I did not really understand them. I have learned a ton moving to the north and am so enjoying being in a great Jewish community. Our Rabbi is female and she is wonderful at including my husband, she really goes out of her way. which makes all the difference in the world. I would love to talk more about this. Oh yeah we have a truely "Santa Claus " celebration also. And we do Channukah. It is a present feast which is a ton of fun. Last year my dh did have some neg things happen , but it was all cleared up very fast. That is a whole other conversation. B
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  #4  
January 2nd, 2006, 06:40 PM
Llamamama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Salem, MA
Posts: 4,091
We're actually meeting with a Rabbi this Thursday to talk about some of this stuff.

My DH is very open to participating with me and the Rabbi we'll be speaking to is really wonderful about interfaith partnerships. We really have high hopes for our first meeting with him this week.

I spent most of my life being a non-religious, but tradition heavy Jew. Make sense? As I get older and now have a child on the way, I feel like I want to participate more.

DH is not a very religious man but is very supportive of me and whatever I feel like I want to do. His family isnt very religious and like Katzchen mentioned, they also celebrate xmas which is more about the gifts and the food and santa than it is about religion. We just spent xmas with them and I dont remember once hearing "Jesus". I'll tell you what they DID do for me. MIL went out. Bought a menorah and candles, a dreidel and chocolate gelt! We got my family on the speakerphone and we lit the first nights candle together. It was very sweet and inclusive. I was very moved that they thought about all of this for me.
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My boys are beautiful and look forward to meeting the new member of our family

@LizPW on Twitter or find me on my blog
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  #5  
January 2nd, 2006, 08:26 PM
Westywoman5's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 320
How much does your partner participate? My husband doesn't attend services with me(he goes to his own church and is an active member as well as Emily) but does observe holidays although I'll admit the girls and my own attendance has been bad these days.

How do you handle holidays with the kids? Like the other have said we still do a very secular Christmas celebration that has nothing to do with Christ but more with the tree and Santa(when they were younger) along with celebrating Chanukah.

How do you make it work? We talked a lot in the beginning. We were able to agree that the girls would be raised Jewish until they were old enough to decide and Emily did decide to join her fathers church after going with him a good bit and going through a confirmation process. Otherwise alot of discussion and compromise.

Hopefully that helped a little. I'd say more but I have two babies doing some karate on my organs.
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  #6  
January 6th, 2006, 04:05 AM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,422
It is amazing to me how well we women adjust. I love hearing about the stories and am really looking forward to everyone sharing. Thanks B
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