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How long to wait to annouce a pregnancy - jewish perspective


Forum: Jewish Parenting

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  #1  
August 9th, 2009, 12:37 AM
Ima's Avatar
Ima Ima is offline
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Hey girls,

I was wondering how long you guys waited to tell immediate family, extended family, close friends and others about pregnancy?

In my situation most ppl close to me know i am TTCing. how do i keep it sufficienty 'secret' when i do fall pg (B'H) and how long should i wait to tell.........

also my mom knows my cycles so she would know when AF is due. I would want to tell her but she has a big mouth and would tell everyone (no matter what i begged her to not do). How would you handle that one????

any advice would be very welcome!!!!

thanks girls........
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  #2  
August 9th, 2009, 09:44 AM
Mom2DavidandAaron's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I actually didn't wait to tell immediate family. I did want to wait to tell extended family, but when I got pregnant with Aaron it was close to Rosh Hashana and when I got to the Yom Kippur post-fast meal at my grandma's everyone suddenly knew because my lovely family told everyone. I was actually pretty pissed
Now, I know some people wait three months before telling. That's originally what I wanted to do. I don't know if there's a religious reason for that, but the first three months are really the risky ones and in case, G-d forbid, something had gone wrong, I would've liked todeal with it without the world knowing, KWIM?

Now, even if your mom knows when your period is supposed to come, does she have to know if it came or not? You could not touch that subject and if she asks directly well, you could downright lie or you could just tell her that you will let her know when it happens.

Sharon
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  #3  
August 10th, 2009, 12:35 AM
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thanks Sharon. unfortunately my mom has a brain injury and is like a kid sometimes. she HAS to know everything and out of respect i TRY to give her what she needs. i think i will lie this time though (B'H I am preggy). DHs fam is out of town and we eould want to tell them face to face on the same night (mine first of course lol).... so praying it happens this month (we tried really hard). please put in an extra daven for me if you can (been waiting many years for this)...
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  #4  
August 11th, 2009, 08:05 PM
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Immediate family knew right away when I was pregnant with both Samantha and Jordyn. When I became pregnant with Ryan we were not trying and decided to wait to tell anyone. We waited till I was 13 weeks. Ryan was born sleeping at 22.5 weeks. When I became pregnant with Caden we decided not to wait.

My thought was I needed all the support I could get. I had lost his brother 7 months earlier. I had x-rays, cat-scans, heavy narcotics and surgery all while pregnant with Caden. Found out I was pg 1 week after surgery for kidney stones. I was a hysterical mess to say the least. My OB was wonderful, but I needed the love, support and strength of friends and family.

We do however, honor the Jewish thought on baby showers and wait until after the birth. In conjuction with the Bris or Naming we have had our "parties".
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  #5  
August 12th, 2009, 02:29 AM
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ok thanks girls for your perspectives. I spoke with DH last night about it and asked IF we are preggy when to tell. He said 6 - 8 weeks. My thoughts are to tell parents when we have been to the doctor to have it confirmed. i guess that is 6 - 8 weeks. I think, since i NEED to tell someone, i will tell my BFF. I need her support and DH will have to understand. I will wait to tell other family and close friends at 12 - 13 weeks (after the scan to see everyuthing is normal i guess)...

i hope this is my month girls.....
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  #6  
August 20th, 2009, 11:50 AM
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I told everyone but coworkers right away with Ethan. This time, we'll be telling immediate family only right away, extended family and friends at 12 weeks, and my coworkers whenever I go into labor, unless they figure it out themselves first.
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  #7  
August 24th, 2009, 10:42 PM
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Late on this, but I waited until I was in my second trimester, I told my mom and sister and that was it. I know there is much Jewish superstition around pregnancy and I tended to "follow the rules" so to speak
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  #8  
September 2nd, 2009, 02:52 PM
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I told immediate family right away and then waited to tell everyone else. We were waiting until after my BIL's wedding (I was 13 weeks) so as not to steal the spotlight.....
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  #9  
September 25th, 2009, 04:48 AM
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Rebecca!!!! I see you preggy (Ironic considering the conversation) LOl.....

Awesome.... Bsha Tovah sweety!!!!

Me not,,, sigh..... seeing a specialist on the 15th....... but keeping the faith!!!!
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  #10  
September 25th, 2009, 08:08 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Specialists are wonderful, that's how I got both my babies!!! Good luck!
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  #11  
September 26th, 2009, 01:34 PM
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We were planning on waiting until 12 weeks, the last time I had gotten pregnant that was the plan as well but unfortunately my father became ill and I miscarried the first pregnancy. The second pregnancy, I was going to wait, but like clockwork my father once again fell ill and ultimately passed while I was at the 7 week point. At that point, I had to tell my mom the night that he passed as we were a thousand miles away and I didn't want to drive that distance all alone.
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  #12  
February 1st, 2013, 04:21 PM
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Halachicly, you are supposed to wait to 5 months.... which seems like forever. I told my immediate family at 12/ 13 weeks, they are not religious at all. Most families have the members who like to "chat" so I'm not making an official announcement until month 5 to everyone, and at that time I can share the news of my up and coming blessing with my congregation. The reason we wait so long is because the Jewish belief states that a child in utero is a potential life, and we do not celebrate until it's grand entrance.

It is uncustomary to wish a mom-to-be "Mazel-Tov" (congratulations). So waiting longer to announce your up and coming bundle is ideal. For a boy we celebrate 8 days later and he is named at his Brit Milah (customary, ritualistic circumcision) whereby a girl baby is named at the temple as soon as possible, she has a customary baby naming service, I believe these can happen on Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays, but I am not certain.

Again, everyone chooses to tell at their own pace, but the above information is what I have learned from orthodox sources. So I guess it would depend on your level of religious background when to tell, and who to tell first...

I hope you find this information is helpful. B"H and may you have an easy pregnancy and labour.
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