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this is a photo that was recently shared and directed towards me on Facebook because the person thought I would enjoy it. since im not hiding my pregnancy most people who even look at my statuses know im pregnant.. The title was "like if you think this is cute" and it was by one of those new things that are popping up that do nothing but share pictures or demotivational posters for other people to share it had 499,718 likes and over 9,000 shares.
Um is it just me or is that a picture of a super premature baby probably so much so that it would have a hard time surviving. I mean i dont know much about babys iv never had one yet but those feet are about the same size as that adults thumbnail and i defiantly didnt see any baby shoes at walmart in that size.
One who in there right mind would post a picture telling everyone to like the likely riddled with difficulty childhood facing a baby with a probably vary low likelihood of surviving. and then actually get 499,718 likes and counting. And 2 What kind of person would send it to a girl in the middle of a at least simi complicated pregnancy and say hey i thought this would brighten up your day. Do that many people actually not know whats going on in this picture? Am I completely off base here?
I didnt want to respond to her untill i got some other opinions but right now im honestly kind of pissed. I feel like she was mocking me i mean even without the babys body in the picture think scale that kids like maby 1lb tops and probably fits entirely in that hand. How is that anything but heartbreaking. maby if it had a survival story or something but it didnt it says hey look at me im so cute. Thats not cute its traumatic for the parents and the child and i feel like she was saying its my future. Maby im just super hormonaly reading in to things but this woman has had children b4 for chris sake shes a grandmother already Im pretty sure she knows thats not what they looked like.
eh, in all honesty.. i think your being very overdramatic here.. i have a preemie, not a micro preemie but was born very early at 34 weeks... if i had a micro preemie.. i would be HIGHLY offended if someone said that his/her pictures were disturbing..
have you ever heard of the saying "a person's a person no matter how small" by Dr Seuss... regardless if this child was born at even 16 weeks.. he/she is beautiful none the less and is cute, and is the in the least bit of disturbing.. what the child has to go through, is yes heartbreaking.. but that picture ITSELF, is not disturbing.. the picture to me.. if anything says life is an amazing thing.. it surely doesnt say "Im disturbing, be horrified by my disgustingly itty bitty feet and toes"
with the amount of mothers we have here on JM, and the amount of micro preemies that we have.. i sure hope none of those mothers stumble across this post.. im just going to stop there and leave it at that ..
I wasnt trying to say that the baby was I whould never say that. if my child is preemie i would probably beat someone of they tried to make fun of them but i also would want people to understand that its complected and difficult and the entire post blatantly ignores any of that.
On top of that the way it was introduced to me was along the lines of look at how happy your future will be when the person knows I have a decent chance of having a preemie. I dont think anyone would wish for that but the way the whole thing was set up it seemed exactly like she was wishing for me to have a preemie and she was doing it because they are so much cuter when they are tiny Thats what i meant was disturbing.
Did you consider that maybe the person who sent it to you didn't even think along those lines? I mean have you really told everyone you know you might have a preemie (and you don't even know that for sure yet anyway)?
Sure this baby is tiny but it's a beautiful picture full of the love of a mother for her newborn -- could it be that's all your friend wanted to convey?
I highly doubt anyone is wishing you'd have a preemie.
It is also possible that the baby isn't even that premature... I don't know. I'm not an expert by any means, I think that she might not even have thought of it in that way.
It is a beautiful picture regardless because that mother loves her child no matter how small.
no everyone doesnt know I actually havent even posted it on this board yet Only she knows becuse she was specifically asking about my er visit and my chances. I was told at the ER that i only have a 50% chance of going full term 25 of miscarriage 25 it will be preemie. I understand that that can change as things progress and im hoping it does. I suppose it is much to early that I should be so worried about that
and entirly possible that since she does know she was only trying to encourage me. I guess i was only so sensitive about it because Shes the only person i expect to know its a sensitive subject to me right now.
i defiantly didn't mean to be offensive to anyone else I guess i wasn't thinking just as much. I just dont know who to turn to when i get upset you girls have always been so helpful before that it seemed natural I never really thought that what I was saying could be construed as just as hurtful. I apologize if I have offended anyone I defiantly didn't mean to I guess I was just busy being self centered.
I saw that on FB at one point too... I love that picture. I don't think whoever is liking it is being insensitive - I too think it's more about the love than anything else. When I lost Daniel, I took some pictures of him, but now I wish I had taken more. This pic reminds me of the immense love I have for him. I don't think you are being self-centered... Things just affect people differently & without an experience to back up your thoughts, I can understand how this might possibly make you feel the way it did. I think your friend was trying to be supportive hun
__________________ Thank you Katie (.:Shortcake:.) for my beautiful siggy!!
I gave birth to my son at 30 weeks. He was 4 lbs and my daughters has dolls that was bigger than him. He spent 2+ months in the NICU, and is now a happy healthy boy, and you would never know by looking at him that he struggled so much when he was born. I don't think this picture is offensive. I know for us, there is just something about a newborns feet. I don't think there was anything meant by the picture, except that of love for the mother and baby. I know my FIL has taken pics of DH in the exact same position for all of the kids and will probably do the same this time around.
ETA: - oh btw if you want to message me about preemies, feel free to. My last 2 (out of 3) were preemie and this one has a good chance of being preemie as well. Maybe I can help you through a tough time. I don't know everything but I certainly have been there more than my share of times.
Do not feel bad for venting or voicing your frustrations. Being that you have been told you have a higher chance of having a preemie, it just hit very close to home for you. The meaning behind the picture felt different for you than it may for someone else---there is nothing wrong with that. You came here to get support and gain understanding, and it seems that Krista, Tanya and Lex were able to help you with that and draw you back into seeing that maybe your friend wasnt being malicious.
I just have to say that a life is a life. Regardless of how premature a baby is. Those parents of premies, and micro-premies are so happy and blessed to have their child! I know a few families that have lost their babies... they never made it outside of the NICU. While losing their precious angel was difficult, they cherished the time they had with them!
This picture is BEAUTIFUL! No if's, and's or but's about it! I don't know why you're at risk for a premie, but if thats a possibility, then you need to embrace that this may happen to you. And you need to be able to love on your child no matter what the circumstance.
__________________ Rachel & Joe 10.21.11
Joined by Oliver Philip 11.9.12
Visit my blog! Lots of health and fitness insights... including pregnancy! www.HealthFitnessLove.com
These are my sons feet when he was born... he was 1lb 11oz... i'm pretty sure that baby was probably not a living child bec/ they were even smaller then his... and that i find sad to see on FB if the child has passed i would not like if the photo were passed around but, i dont find the image itself disturbing at all. Reminds me of my adorable healthy almost 30lb son.
and btw i also WILL (75%) sure have my baby before 32 weeks... possibly as early as 25 again
I know for ME... im just at risk for preterm labors/births.. giving my son's preterm labor began at 23 weeks.. he made it to 34 weeks... my second's preterm labor began at 33-34 weeks, had steroid shots and all as we didnt think he'd make it to 35 weeks.. was put on procardia (as I was with my first as well).. and he made it to just hit 37 weeks.. so for some reason, my body is just susceptible to preterm labor.
but being this is your first child.. just because of an ER visit that was due to what? I didnt read the thread so not exactly sure what you went for, off the top of my head it was for bleeding right/ just from hovering the topic.. but i'd like to know what about your pregnancy raises high chances of you having a preterm labor being it's your first pregnancy
__________________ Rachel & Joe 10.21.11
Joined by Oliver Philip 11.9.12
Visit my blog! Lots of health and fitness insights... including pregnancy! www.HealthFitnessLove.com
