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I have passed the point of my last loss, but I still just can't shake the anxiety. I am not really worrying or thinking about it, but I just don't feel "safe" in the pregnancy yet. I don't know what will make me feel safe, but I maybe when I hit 15 or 16 weeks? We are going to visit DH's family this coming weekend and he wants to spill the beans, but I am not ready. He thinks they will know just by looking at me, but that makes me just not want to go
__________________ ~alisha~
Loving my hubby and sweet girls- Kayla, Kinley, and our newest addition Briella Joy 11/11/12 My three girls
I don't know. I don't think I'll ever feel SAFE until the baby is in my arms, with a clean bill of health. And even then, I know I called the vet 2-3 times per week for the first month I had my puppy so when I have the baby I might be stressed too.
But I decided to just start acting like I feel safe even if I don't, not entirely anyway, because I'm in the second trimester and people will find out eventually. And just in case there is a baby in the end, I need to start getting ready at some point.
I'm feeling overall pretty "safe" but knowing stories of women losing their babies later on makes me also feel like no time is completely safe. I'm also focusing on the part of me that feels safe and letting myself get excited about baby things.
I agree with Belita - I too feel pretty 'safe' right now - especially considering I will be in the third trimester on thursday (yay!). But, I will not fell 100% until baby is in my arms. I am starting to get really excited about the prospect of shopping! We scheduled our gender ultrasound for June 28th!
my dh wants to tell everyone now also since we have had two u/s's and so far everything has been good but im not ready either. I wont really feel safe until i can feel baby move but we'll tell everyone after my NT ultrasound on the 22nd
Sometimes I actually start to feel safe and then I start worrying again. I honestly would have gone loony by now if I didn't have the doppler at home. I think in the end, I'm with Lex. I will not feel safe until the baby is here and I know s/he is ok. And then starts a whole new set of worries. I worry about Akadia constantly - falling, hitting her head, etc... I wish I could just bubble-wrap her.
I agree with Belita - I too feel pretty 'safe' right now - especially considering I will be in the third trimester on thursday (yay!). But, I will not fell 100% until baby is in my arms. I am starting to get really excited about the prospect of shopping! We scheduled our gender ultrasound for June 28th!
Wow! You completely skipping the second trimester?!
I used to feel relatively safe once I hit 12 weeks, but I did wait until 15 weeks to tell the facebook world with my last DD (though we told family at 12 weeks). But now that I had a loss at 13 weeks, I don't know when my safe point will come when I feel okay telling people. I am with you all though, even after the baby arrives, I will have fears and worries.
__________________ ~alisha~
Loving my hubby and sweet girls- Kayla, Kinley, and our newest addition Briella Joy 11/11/12 My three girls
In a general sense I try to put myself in the mindset that everything will turn out well. As someone who had losses from 4 weeks - almost 20, I don't think I'll ever feel completely comfortable until the little one is in my arms, happy and healthy, but as others have said, that brings on a new set of anxieties.
My only advice to you is to enjoy each day & cherish it! Brag to the world and be happy! You can't let the what if's make you not enjoy the pregnancy. I decided after I lost Daniel, that if I was ever blessed with pregnancy, I would take it a day at a time and try to enjoy each day. Don't get me wrong, I stress all the time, but I am focusing on the happiness
I don't think I'll feel safe until the baby is born. Because of the subchorionic bleeding and the increases risk or placental abruption and still birth, I don't think I can ever feel like I'm "out of the woods". Even after the baby is born, I probably won't sleep because I'll be peeking into her bassinet or crib to watch the rise and fall of her chest to make sure she didn't get stolen from me by SIDS, every 20 minutes. Then after she starts crawling and walking and moving around, I'll worry about accidents.
After graduating from worrying about one stage, another stage presents different but equally threatening issues. There's always something to worry about. I guess I try to remind myself that I can't safe guard against everything. All that I'm able to prevent, I will, but there's always going to be risks in life. I can't let worry paralyze me.
Do you blame her?? Lets get to the good stuff...feeling baby kicking and rolling around in there and finishing the final preps for baby to get here!!
Not at all! I'd love to find out how she managed it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiamsMother
I don't think I'll feel safe until the baby is born. Because of the subchorionic bleeding and the increases risk or placental abruption and still birth, I don't think I can ever feel like I'm "out of the woods". Even after the baby is born, I probably won't sleep because I'll be peeking into her bassinet or crib to watch the rise and fall of her chest to make sure she didn't get stolen from me by SIDS, every 20 minutes. Then after she starts crawling and walking and moving around, I'll worry about accidents.
After graduating from worrying about one stage, another stage presents different but equally threatening issues. There's always something to worry about. I guess I try to remind myself that I can't safe guard against everything. All that I'm able to prevent, I will, but there's always going to be risks in life. I can't let worry paralyze me.
SIDS terrifies me. It's why I want one of those monitors that has the sensor pad that sounds an alarm if it doesn't feel the baby breathing.
I'm not worried but I still don't really feel "safe". I still haven't told everyone at work. I have told a couple people there, my main reason for staying quiet now is because I'm trying to transfer to another dept and don't know if this will hold it up.... But I don't feel excited yet, I don't feel like "ok, we're really going to have a baby in Nov". I'm not worried and am feeling more confident. I haven't had any problems and I can find baby's heartbeat on doppler, so I have no reason to think anything is wrong but it just doesn't feel real yet. I hope that once I start feeling the baby move, have a big belly, and know the gender that it will really sink in and I'll get excited. I am usually so obsessed with thinking of names and thinking of baby things all the time. I think part of it is that I'm working full time now for the first time, so my mind is occupied more that.
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Tammy, mommy to:
Jessica(17), Daniel(16), Anna(13), Kaylee(11), Emily(9), Alyssa(8), Eli(7), Nathan(5), Natalie(4), Bethany(2), and Ainsley
As time goes on I worry less, but there is always a little worry until baby is safely here.
Especially since I have the doppler and know I can hear baby whenever I want (I only give in every few days though).
I feel much better when I'm feeling baby move consistently.
Then I feel even better once I hit 25 or so weeks.
I love having my doppler! I also only allow myself to give in once every few days, but it really helps when I'm having that panicky feeling, especially now that the baby is getting bigger and easier to find.
I feel safe for a little bit after each u/s, then I come on this board or one of the others I read on and I hear of another loss and don't feel safe at all. I remember before I got on the internet (my 1rst 3 pregnancies) I never thought about losses or missed miscarriages, I miss that! I'll probably feel safer once I start to feel baby move.
After three miscarriages..... I still feel nervous. This is the furthest along i have ever been and I am beginning to relax a little.....
It's so hard to trust it will be okay but I want to really badly. I do believe that this one with be the one for us and I just don't want to be let down again.
It was great to get the ultrasound yesterday to check all was okay - my doctors have been wonderful. I have another one next week too.
I think once I am past the first trimester I will relax a bit more!
__________________ Thank you Kiliki... for my amazing siggie!
I haven't read all the responses - but wanted to tell you how I felt during my last pregnancy.
After 3 losses - and failed IVF - I didn't think I'd ever feel "safe" - and I truely didn't until I was holding that baby in my arms.
12 weeks was my first point of "safety" I was a little more at ease - but, it wasn't until I felt the baby move that I truely felt a relief. But - then of course - I worried every time I didn't feel him move when I wanted to.
So - I guess with every appointment, hearing the hb, I got a feeling of ease. But, the anxiety would build back up until I had another appointment. It didn't truley go away until I had my son - and THEN you get a whole new world of anxiety! But it defininitly got better!
__________________
Jenny - 36
Michael Joseph Born 1/14/11 at 2:46pm
Baby Christian - born into heaven at 22 weeks gestation - 7/14/12
Starting IVF/PGD - September 2012
47 eggs retrieved (OUCH!)
38 eggs mature
26 eggs fertilized
10 embryos biopsied
3 embryos - 2 boys, 1 girl are waiting to be transferred - transferring 1 boy 1 girl on first FET!!!
2/12/13 - FET - Cancelled due to fluid in the uterus
2/20/13 - Hysteroscopy scheduled - 1 polyp removed.
4/10/13 - FET - 2 embies transferred as planned! 1 boy 1 girl!
4/22/13 - Trying to wait to test - Beta scheduled!!
With DS I never felt totally safe after my loss. But when I could feel the baby move on a regular basis I did feel better. With this one I've past my loss point also. It's better than with DS, but I still worry.
7Likes
My three girls 
Gabriel 12/23/11 
Thank you Kiliki... for my amazing siggie! 
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