[SarahxSyanide]

I don't know what's going on with me, but I just can't seem to get along with my fiance. It's like I don't really care about him anymore? Before I got pregnant I was in a car accident that left me in the hospital for a month, and then immobile for 2 months. I was dealing with depression and I was on meds. I had to get off them of course because of the baby, but I'm so angry all the time now.
I don't know if it's because I haven't dealt with the accident and being pregnant and past problems with my fiance. I just don't believe he loves me even though he says he does. Again there is a whole back story to that, that I don't want to get into.
I'm just wondering if this feeling of disgust is normal? I was so in love with him before, I just don't know if it's because I'm pregnant, hormonal, and previously diagnosed with borderline personality and depression. -___- I just don't want to be alone in this.

[3kids3cats]

Well it sounds like a complicated situation for you and I don't know what is the real issue or if it's all of those issues combined, but I do know that my DH is annoying the heck out of me lately. I just have no tolerance for him. Sometimes it's just him truly being annoying, sometimes it's just me being impatient & hormonal.
I would urge you not to make any life-changing decisions on a whim without careful consideration though...you don't want it to turn out to be hormones or whatever.
I hope you are able to get some clarity.

[meddleman]

It could be side effects from coming off your meds...combined with hormones. I know I have a very short fuse lately for DH, and I feel bad after I snap at him, but I can't help it!

Hope things get better..hugs!!

[SarahxSyanide]

We're getting married July 10th and I'm soooooo unsure of what to do. I wanted to marry him so badly before. I'm just hoping that when this baby comes, I'll begin to feel normal again. I know that I do love him, well I think I do. I just feel like there is a huge cloud in my brain and I just haven't been happy for months and months. -sigh- I just hope this a phase and another wonderful aspect of pregnancy.

[kristiemarie518]

Well first I say get back on your meds. It's not healthy for you or baby to be this way.

Second, I definit,y think that these feels are hormone related. Id talk to your Dh and if possible, postpone the wedding until you are 100% again. If that's not possible, I'd talk to your psych and get back on some meds immediately and talk with him/her to sort through these feelings. Because real or imagined, justified or not, I know that these feelings can cause you total misery.

Good luck.

[Belita]

I agree with Kristie. Get back on your meds. I saw a specialist who said it's usually safer for both Mom and Baby for the mom to stay on anti-depressants. If you're this depressed now you're also putting yourself at a greater risk for post-partum depression.

Last night I got on DH's case because he still hold his utensils like a little kid. Having a short fuse is likely pregnancy hormones, but I think it'd be good for you to talk to someone about your feelings.

[SarahxSyanide]

I would have stayed on my meds if I could. I was on Celexa which has one of the highest risks of birth defects if taken after the 2nd trimester. I'm too close to the third trimester to be put back on them. I will talk to my Dr. on the 6th at my next ob appointment. She'll prob send me to my primary, but I can get a list of approved meds from her first.

[Antrim]

I would say to try and see if you can distinguish the difference between you being hormonal and real issues in the relationship or with your feelings for him. If it is the relationship or feelings then don't get married. Marriage isn't a bandage for problems. It won't fix pre exiting ones and if anything getting married will make things so much worse. if you both feel trapped. If you honestly don't believe he loves you then why on earth would you marry him?

[SarahxSyanide]

I haven't felt like this always. Only since finding out I was pregnant.

[angelbaby02]

I can kinda understand where you're coming from... I have bi-polar, depression, anxiety and panic attacks and i was switched to a "safe" medicine, but it made me sick in the 1st trimester. I have been so stressed out and tempermental that Im trying the meds again.. Im just so angry all the time! I cant drive anywhere without wanting to run anybody over lol my DF is like 10,000 miles away so I havent had the chance to get pissed at him yet lol but my roommate has been getting my wrath lately..

My dr had told me that in certain situations, risks have to be weighed and if its safer to me to be on the meds, then it outweighs the risk of being off the drugs... definitely see if you can be put back on something!! Even if it just helps take the edge off!

[Antrim]

If it is just dince pregnancy it might be just the hormones? Try to talk to your doc. Also maybe an activity like yoga might relax you a bit too and help you sort through those feelings.

[kristap4]

Before i got pregnant i was on celexa and haven't taken it since finding out... I have been feeling down and angry a lot lately and also taking it out on DH and the kids so I agree with the others about talking to your dr and getting back on something. I am going to do the same at my next appointment.

[newserenity]

I just wanted to say I can understand where you are coming from. I got off of Venlafaxine right after I found out I was pregnant and have had a really hard time. I don't have any issues with DH to deal with but, if I did I am sure I would be feeling the same. I have been angry with other situations in my life and have struggled a lot with negative feelings. It has been really hard. I think it's a combo of hormones and going off of meds cold turkey messing with my brain chemistry. I have started to feel more like myself lately. I think each day gets a little better.

I think you need to talk with someone- DF, a counselor, friends, online. Just talk it out and also talk with your doctor about safe alternatives for your meds. ((hugs))

[SarahxSyanide]

Thank you all so much for caring and writing something. I have a Dr's appointment on the 6th with my OB. I will talk to her about depression and see what she says I can do. Talking with my fiance is just frustrating because he doesn't understand how badddd the hormones are. He think i'm just *****ing to *****. I try to stay positive with him I really do, its just things don't feel the same.
I never thought pregnancy would be so hard on me, mentally. It's what I've always wanted, but being diagnosed with BPD this past year, has really opened my eyes to things. I wish I could just enjoy being pregnant and feel good!
That's all I want! I want to be happy, feel good, and be excited about things again.