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I think I'm going to f@@king die. So, my MIL is coming to stay with us and it's usually for 3 months, yes you heard that right. I was prepared for that but not for the conversation I had with DH tonight. I was trying to figure out when she was leaving by so I asked him if his mom is going to be here for Christmas. My mouth Hit the floor. He said March. *** I'm like your kidding me. Don't you think that's a bit long. I think that's too long. When the **** are we going to have the time to spend time with our child as a family. It's not me, DH, Victoria and his ******* mother. Urgh. I just want to take my keys and just drive right now and not come back. One thing I will be teaching Victoria, don't marry a boy who is an only child. Aaaahhhhhh
Thank you for reading and sorry for the language.
Holy crap. That is totally uncalled for!!!! And I'm guessing from previous posts that your protests won't do much good, huh??? I think I'd shoot myself, you poor thing.
Family haveing trouble and comeing to stay with you is one thing but if thats not the case and this is just mommy comeing to visit then F no. Im sorry I could not do it, I chouldnt even do 3 months. a month maby if shes from the other side of the country or europe or something that kinda makes sense. otherwise I would be telling hubby he can go back to live with mommy if he wants her around that much becuse I wont be a part of it.
I would be suicidal (ok probably homicidal) if my MIL stayed here longer than a week! I'm so sorry! That is excessive and I think he should put his foot down! She will be hovering over you and the baby the whole time.
Too long and it's your home too so you do have a say in this. I would put your foot down now before it's too late. You're going to be dealing with a lot in those first few months - you know the drill since you've been through this before. I honestly don't think it will be a healthy situation for you guys to have her there that long. If my DH did that to me, I'd probably end up packing my bags at some point before the "visit" was over!
I'm sorry, but when you get married you become a partnership and that partnership trumps mommy/son relationships! He should talk anything like this over with you, as that is your house as well, and him just saying "She's staying til March" is disrespectful to you and showing preferential treatment to his mother over you. You need to talk to him about that (if you haven't already), let him know exactly how you feel and why he needs to talk to you before hand.
I would kill my husband if he ever did anything so stupid. But then, I'm insanely territorial and he knows it. I have a hard enough time having people over for a week...
I would totally not allow that. When we had DS, DH thought it would be appropriate to have his mom in the delivery room with us. I put my foot down with that one. His mother also wanted to come see the baby right after baby was born and I was going through so many complications and hadn't even held my own baby yet so I refused to let her come till I was better and had actually held my child first. I would never let MIL live with us for more than a couple of days for a visit. I wouldn't move out if DH wanted his mother to stay for longer periods of time. I would make him and his mother find a new place to live!!
he finally realized last night that I was upset and we kind of spoke, he was saying how it was a joke, which I think he is full of it on that. I spoke to my mom and I am going to have her call her and find out the truth before I start making other arrangments. I am going to go insane with his mother being here for that long. but her being here and me not working, that is 24/7 around his mother. ARGH Playdates are in the work, for every day if necessary, or I'm just saying i'm going on a play date and just go shopping.
Lindsay, I already put my foot down with his mom being in the room before, during and after the deliever. I don't even want my own mother with me, what makes him even think I want his mother there. I also told him that he is to drop her off at his grandmothers house when we come home from the hospital. I don't want her there. Its a time for the three of us not the four of us. I really dont give a flying f@@k if this is her first grandchild, its also my mothers first and ours as well. after a few loses I think we deserve the right to have our time with her.
LOL! You know I mistook your dog for a kid!!! So you haven't been through this before. So yeah, you guys are seriously going to be going through a lot in those first few months as new parents etc. It can be a great time, but also really stressful on the relationship at times, throw in an uninvited MIL and it's a recipe for disaster. And you shouldn't have to leave your house every day to get away from her. Unless you are superwoman, you're not going to be up for that all the time. I was lucky if my hair got brushed those first few months.
Yup Amber all new to us. It's like we have to share this new time with her too. If DH's father hadn't passed away a few years ago it would have been only for a few weeks, a month at most. One his father passed its been 2 1/2-3 months at a time.
Ugh, I am so sorry. There is NO WAY my mother or my mother-in-law could stay here for more than a few hours at a time, let alone a few months! I really hope things work out for you!!!
How far away does she live? I mean, even if it's all the way across the world it doesn't excuse a visit that long. Just curious though how far away she actually does live. I agree with Amber 100%. This is a time for you and DH. Is it her mother that lives nearby? You said DH's grandmother right? Why can't she stay there for the most part and come in for (not too) frequent visits? There's got to be a way to work around all this.
We are buying this house from my grandmother so my mom, gma, stepdad all still and will continue to live here for a long time. However, we have our own section of the house. We have our privacy. My mother will be in and out but when needed she will respect our privacy and need to be alone to bond with each other and our little girl. That's VERY important and DH should realize this, and your MIL should be able to respect that fact.
I really hope you guys can come to a new agreement about all this.
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Kaley. 23. Married to my high school sweetheart Josh for 4 wonderful years.
How far away does she live? I mean, even if it's all the way across the world it doesn't excuse a visit that long. Just curious though how far away she actually does live. I agree with Amber 100%. This is a time for you and DH. Is it her mother that lives nearby? You said DH's grandmother right? Why can't she stay there for the most part and come in for (not too) frequent visits? There's got to be a way to work around this
yes, DH's grandmother lives 30 minutes from us. His mother lives in Turkey, so it's pretty far. The last time she was here she did stay at her mothers but not for very long, maybe 2-4 days. And the days she would go I would get my period, which stunk big time. She also can't stand to be with her mother only on small doses, I hope she will realize that is how I am going to feel too.
Yeah, that is too long. I think you're going to have to set the guidelines that if she wants to come for an extended visit she needs to be willing to stay with her mother for longer. I agree with Amber 100%. It's not fair to you.
Well Turkey is a long way away but if her husband has died and her mother and son live here, what is keeping her from moving to the states to be closer to family and see them more often while also having her own place to live to go home to? If there is nothing really keeping her in Turkey, maybe your DH should suggest that she finally move here and then she wouldn't have these long extended stays, she would have her own place and then she would be able to see her grandchild mroe often without becoming unwelcome at someones house. I can't imagine she has a job in Turkey that is keeping her there since she can take such long extended leave. Does she have other kids in Turkey?
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Arghhhhh dam@ you, my mother in law
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Gabriel 12/23/11 
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