[Miss Kelly]

I've never been one to be afraid of birthing, it's going to hurt that's a fact of life. But, I've been someone to also believe an epidural would be wonderful to have... doesn't enter the bloodstream so will not cross the placenta, helps with the pain (most of the time), and narcotics like vicodin make me ill!!

BUT my husband is adament about no epidural. now, that does scare me a bit. anyone else have different thoughts on this with your sig other? how are you approaching the situation? He is, in all reality, a part of this decision and I don't want to step on toes.

Thoughts?

[Gripstress]

Sorry but unless my dh wants to get kicked in the nuts every 2-5 minutes for as much as 30+ hours without pain control, he has no say in the matter. What are his concerns? I've never heard of anything like this before...

[jpjmom]

I don't have a personal prefrence I had my 3 boys with out meds but thats cause I missed the window to get one. So I couldn't have one my labors were super fast. I also really think that you should include your DH in as many decisions as possible to let them be apart of the process. That being said this is not one of those decisions they should get a say. In all reality he is a guy and there is nothing he can compare it to as far as pain is concerned so he doesn't get a vote. Although kicking him in the nuts sounds like a good test, but he won't make it 30 hours

[BeckyBozeman]

I'm planning an unmedicated birth and hold the (probably fairly unpopular) view that epidurals are over-used... but I think that's for the person experiencing the pain to decide! Our SO's are certainly entitled to their opinions and we should listen to, respect and consider what they have to say and how they feel. But in the end it comes down to the fact that YOU are the one going through this and YOU have the final say about what happens to your body. And YOU have the responsibility to educate yourself and make what you believe is the best decision for you and your baby.

[Gripstress]

Exactly! Exactly! Exactly!

I have no preference either. If you came here and said that YOU decided against the epidural, I would support that whole-heartedly! I, myself, have very long ridiculous labors that tend to go nowhere fast. 1st was 32 hrs(epidural for last 10), 2nd was 26 hrs with eventual oxitocin/epidural combo and after 26 hrs I ended up c-section, 3rd was planned c-section w/ epidural and this one will be the same as last if all goes as planned. I would really love to have a natural childbirth but it's not in my cards... I would just suggest that you and your dh get educated on the matter prior to labor/delivery. Let him cut the cord and support you in all the rest but ultimately, this is your decision. Sorry if it's unpopular to say...

[caajje6]

I have had an epidural with all of my births. My labors are super long and I usually end up with most of my labor pains being in my back. In addition to that I have large babies that have ranged in size from 9lbs to 9lbs 15oz and I have absolutely no desire to go through natural childbirth. I also tense up during contractions and stall my own labor so once I get the epidural I can relax and it speeds things up a bit.

My DH supports the decision, but if he didn't want me to have an epidural, his word would NOT be the final say in the matter. Yes, they need to be part of the process as much as possible, but since you are the one going through labor this decision needs to be yours.

[ash29nc]

I have had 3 natural unmedicated births all were fairly.short.6 hours and under, I.dnt no how I would deal with a long labor im sure I would be begging for the drugs! I think its your decision, dont go in the.birthing room with a deffinate yes or no anwer only you will no how you feel and how you will cope with the labor, just relax and the outcome either way will hopefully be a healthy.baby

[tricia_16_]

I'm curious to look back at this thread in 6 months or so and see if toge dh changes his mind once he sees you in pain. My dh said that was the hardest part for him because for the first time ever he couldn't do anything to make me feel better!

[BrooklynBump]

My husband doesn't get a vote.

[anna.rose]

While he is part of the decision in most things it's not him experiencing the pain of delivery. If YOU want an epidural YOU should get it. I agree with what Rebecca said. Birth is compared to breaking multiple bones at once. If he wouldn't want pain relief for that than he does drugs. You should tell him you'll tell the doctor to have it on stand by because you never know how you'll react.

[~Landon's Mommy~]

I'd say it's your body so you're the only vote that counts here. If you want one, get one.

[MarlowesMum]

Totally agree with Tricia on this one. This is your first birth. Your DH has NO idea as to what's going to go down in the L&D room. The second he sees you in that situation - regardless of how you yourself cope with the intensity of labor, he is likely going to flip out and demand the drugs on your behalf. In the meantime, nod and smile...

[daffneyc]

I loved my epidurals. Both times! Sorry, I know you don't want to step on toes but I feel like your hubby doesn't have a lot of say in that arena. Pushing a toyota carrrola through your vagina hurts, and since you are the one doing the pushing, you get to make those choices.

[BabyBird]

Yeah...my DH doesn't get a vote when it comes to that either. If he had concerns I would want to know why he was against it and we could research the pros and cons together but in the end it would still be my decision. I also agree that you shouldn't have a definite yes or no in your mind when you go in...you don't know what it is like until you get there. You may have a quick labor and not get a chance for one or feel like you need one but if not you are entitled to make you own decision on whether you want one.

[Cassie.S]

I'm hoping to have a natural birth without an epidural, but since it's my first baby I have no idea what the pain will feel like and won't have a problem asking for one if I really need it. Thankfully my DH is completely fine with my decision, but even if he wasn't, I don't think I'd be letting him make that decision for me. He's not the one in pain and going through labor, so he doesn't get to tell me how I'll handle it. I hope your DH will understand when the time comes.

[*treefrog*]

Hehe...I would agree to the birth without an epidural...just tell him you expect the same from him. After you all are done having children, you expect him to have a vasectomy without any analgesics during the procedure or pain meds after. See how he responds to that one...lol!
In all seriousness I agree with Maggie and others. He may change his tune when he sees you in pain. It is hard for the Dads to have zero control in a delivery situation. Do as Maggie says...nod and smile...in the long run...the docs and nurses won't listen to him anyway It is not worth the fight you all will have over this...especially since this is your first little one and you both don't know what to expect...good luck

[bug, boo, n boogers mom]

My DH has NO say in that matter, except he wants me to get it, he hates seeing me in pain..LOL With that said, he supports me in whatever decision I make.

I have had the epidural with all 3 of my kids. First one picture perfect. Second one, it was hell getting it in (won't go into detail, don't want to scare you) but once it was in worked like magic. Third one went in perfect and worked all the way up until it was time to push, then I felt every thing, holy crap. More than likely I will get the epi with this one also.

With me, it also didn't slow my labor down, once they broke my water (with my last 2) I delivered them with in 20 min of them breaking the bag of waters. I believe Cade was even quicker, he was about 15 min.

[gardenbelle]

I agree with all the other ladies - your body, your decision! My DH let this decision rest in my court, but if he had strong opinions on the matter, I would like to hear them (to help me make my decision). What it comes down to is that this is one area in which it really should be yours.
I've had two epidurals with my past two births since they were both induced labors (first for high BP and pre-e and the second for being almost 2 weeks over my due date). My first one was an absolute dream birth, absolutely beautiful up to the delivery. My second epidural didn't work until I was 10cm and it was absolute hell. What was worse than the back labor, pitocin contractions and quick dilation was that I was so ill prepared for the degree of pain. If you decide on an epidural, I would definitely do a class or learn about pain coping methods just in case.
Good luck with your decision and remember, so much changes once you are in the delivery room - you might have an easy labor and not need it or you might need it more than anything even though your plan was not to get one.

[Wishinfor2ndblessing]

I would simply say "When he is able to deliver the child then he can have a say on if you have an Epidural or not. Until then its your option."

If that doesn't work then go ahead and let him make the choice.... its either pain meda, or his nuts... those are his options... I dare say he will quickly choose the pain meds.

GL Hun!!!!

[rlh27]

Why is he against it? I agree it's ultimately your decision, but if he has concerns I think it's important to address them. I'd just research it with him. I think the more info you both have, the more he'll feel comfortable with the idea.