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How do you put your LO's down for naps?


Forum: Traditional Parenting

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  #1  
October 15th, 2012, 08:30 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: New Zealand
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Hi there! I'm Tasha, Mummy to Jacob (21 months old) and Ben (8 weeks old) and have a question...

How do you put your LO's down for naps?

Ben is pretty good at night - after a feed and nappy change, he's swaddled and put back to bed. He goes right back to sleep on his own (with a paci). But during the day, if I put him in his bassinet, he just screams. My Mother is very old school and tells me just to put him in his bassinet, close the door and not to go back in until he's slept. I never did this with Jacob, who pretty much just slept on me most of the time (which I hated but could never work out how to correct), but I obviously can't do that with a toddler to take care of as well! Has anyone here used CIO to get a baby to self-settle for naps during the day? Did you have any success with it? Is 8 weeks too young to do that?

I've spent the last few days putting him in his bassinet after running through a short routine with him (close curtains, swaddle, put on noise machine, put in paci, sit for a few minutes until his eyes are heavy, then into bassinet), then rubbing his tummy if he cries but not picking him up. Had a great day yesterday, but today was just a disaster. It's so hard going in and out of the room with Jacob demanding my attention!

Ugh, I thought I was suppose to know what to do being a second time Mum, but I still have no clue and constantly second guess myself!!
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  #2  
October 16th, 2012, 04:41 PM
New_England_Girl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Chilly New England
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Hi, Tasha, I'm Sara, a traditional mom to 3, ages 4,3, and 7 months. Honestly, 8 weeks is too young for CIO. I'm not a big fan of CIO anyway, for one reason: you want to work towards your child being comfortable and calm and secure in his bed, so that when you lay him down he doesn't feel like he has to cry or fight. Being put in it to scream without response does not do that. How do I know? Because we mistakenly did that with our oldest...and lived to regret it. Had I known enough to just help her learn to sleep on her own, we could have avoided years of sleep issues.

That said, some children will simply lay down and sleep without crying anyway. It's their nature. But those children are rare. Most newborns need help learning to go to sleep even when they are tired. And I certainly don't call helping them "attachment parenting".

When it's naptime, my kids go for naps, even if they don't want to. But with the baby, I'll do what I can to help him settle, so that peace may reign. With my youngest, that meant that I replaced his paci 40 times and rubbed his back for 20 minutes while he fell asleep. I did that for 4 or 5 months. But now, I just lay him down and he turns over and goes right to sleep...because he was never left to cry alone, and get so worked up he couldn't sleep anyway. Now listen, this is only my opinion, but I've done it both ways, and I wouldn't do CIO now.

And I totally hear you on the toddler issue. I did it with two toddlers outside the door crying. But it's okay for a toddler nearing two years old to learn to wait, five minutes or ten minutes or whatever. Sit them down with a puzzle or a big pile of blocks and tell them you'll be back when the baby's asleep. I won't lie to you...once or twice the toddler will be happily playing in the toilet when you come out, but putting the work into teaching the baby gently (however he likes to be soothed) how to sleep is sooooooo worth it. Trust me. CIO can last for YEARS in a strong-willed child. But soothing them only lasts a few months, gets shorter and shorter in time as they get used to it, and finally isn't necessary at all, and you have a great sleeper and no screaming. And as long as you swish the toilets once in a while, who cares if the toddler gets a little damp sometimes?

If you're determined to CIO, at least wait until he is old enough to not do himself serious harm while doing it.
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Hi, I'm Sara. I used to post here a lot when I was having the kids, but life got busy and it's been years since I was around. Now I'm back, and happy to be here.

Married to my best friend for a decade.
Mom to:

Cassidy, 6.5 yrs. Born 10/23/07, 7 pounds 10 ounces, 20 in.

Joel, 4.75 yrs. Born 6/23/09, 9 pounds 12 ounces, 21 in.

Timothy, 2 yrs. Born 3/20/12, 9 pounds 4 ounces, 22.5 in.






































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  #3  
October 17th, 2012, 12:16 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 4,955
Thanks for your reply! My instincts tell me not to let my baby CIO... but I have a very outspoken mother, grandmother and mother-in-law telling me it's how they put their babies down to sleep from day one, so I should be doing the same... Thank goodness they all live over an hour away from me so can't see how I'm doing things on a daily basis!

Today was day 5 of putting Ben into bed after a short routine, then leaving the room. If he cried, then I have been going back in, replacing his paci and putting my hand on his tummy until he settles down. Nap one: had to go in 4 times. Nap two: didn't have to go in at all. Nap 3: had to go in twice. Nap 4: in the sling as I had to get dinner ready for Jacob so couldn't go back and forth. A huge improvement from last week, were he slept on me the whole time!

I also found the post by angelsailor288 called 'Need some advice' and people seem to be recommending what you suggested as well.

Today seemed so easy! Desperately hoping it continues this way and will continue what I have been doing. Thanks again for your reply
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