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parenting books? Go by your gut? Take advice from family?
What has made you parent TP style?
Our situation is that we go by our instinct. We don't listen to Doc on EVERYTHING (IE solid foods). And I've never read a parenting book. I browse mags, but really we go by our "gut" and TP is just where we fall.
We also go by our gut ( well for most things). There is the ocaisonal call to mom for some advice. I also have some baby books. I use to read them when I first brought my son home. I find that overall they just made me feel more stressed out. Each book had a different way on how to go about doing things. Now I use them for reference. I do like What To Expect In The First Year. I'm a first time mom and I find that that book helps to answer some questions when I am not sure of something.
For the TP things that we do (disposibles, vaxing, crib sleeping after 18 months, not ALL gentle discipline- timeouts, etc-) we kinda "went with the gut" - except vaxes which we researched mostly online and through our doc.
For the more AP things, a lot of it was cultural and "what people do" where my husband and I are originally from, so the knowledge was ingrained over generations (like breastfeeding- I didn't need a book to read about latch and problems like thrush, it was just something I grew up knowing about).
But we did read a few good parenting books. I have the Dr Sears Baby Book because I love the sections on milestones (he has great ideas of how to help your child reach them) and the medical section, which saved us a lot of calls to the doc with home remedies/ "when to call the doctor" type advice. I also got a few ideas on new ways to put my baby in the sling (like the "safety hold" where I could wear them on my back part of the hip so that I could do some light cooking without worry or clean with sprays/etc without worry).
I also enjoyed "Happiest Baby On the Block"...the 5 Ss really helped with our second who was colicky...after a few weeks of colic, we were defintely ready to try some parenting book advice! I recommend this one to anyone having that problem adn hte good thing about this book is that it's not really Ap or TP, just some straight out advice on how to settle your babe.
When I was a first time mom I read the what to expect books, and a few magazines, listened to my doc, and attended a class about starting solids. But other than that I was on my own. I didn't even have the internet then.
This time around I am very relaxed, and still just doing what I think is right, and what worked for my first. But this time around I have JM, and I have learned so much here from other mommies experiences. Even though I feel completely confident in my parenting, it's still so wonderful to be able to come here get 20 different perspectives and opinions on a situation.
DH and I go mainly on instinct. I read a few books when I was pregnant but none that were set on one way of doing things because I'm not into that. It has been a lot of trial and error for us to see what works for our family. Things have been going well so far.
I go by my instincts 80% of the time. The rest I get from family and other mom's I respect..like Kelly. At first I read parenting books (what to expect, aap, etc) but I use them for medical reference now. As she gets older I will probably parent like my mom, tough when I have to be, but gentle, kind and fun most of the time. I think she did a good job w/ my bro and I. I attended a seminar of Dr. Karp (Happiest Baby on the Block) and bought his DVD. His advice was a life saver during her first few months....notice I said advice.
We also go by our gut. I'll listen to advice just because EVERYONE gives it but I'll use what I want to if I think it's right for my child. A lot of people don't believe in spanking your child but I do, I spanked as a child and I'm not demented in any way.....thats one thing I don't use as for advice, that spanking is like beating your child, I'm not looking to put bruises on them. lol. Anyways, back to the question, I'll browse parenting mags mainly for recipes but on parenting NAH I won't listen to it so why read it? LOL
^ lol, I was spanked too, I can even remember beind swatted on the butt! But I'm normal too! I seriously think it's more harmful letting kids get away with everything!
I just got by instinct. . . . I have never bothered with parenting books, I don't even really listen to advice given to me, I know whats right for my child.
I read "what to expect the first year" every once in a while just to see where DD needs to be. I do go by every little thing they say. I think I mostly go by my gut. I will ask my MIL for SOME things but I do what I feel it right or what needs to be done.
We mostly go by gut too. We don't really read parenting books. A friend lent me a book on discipline but I only skimmed it, and I do read Parents magazine occassionally. But, I think we mostly just go with our instincts and tend to come out as traditional parents.
I'll read anything if it looks interesting, on any subject. My SIL gave me a couple parenting books when I was pregnant though, and it turned out that the author doesn't have a very good reputation and people were shocked that I read them. I have "The mother of all Toddler books" and it seems nice, I like to know what is developmentally appropriate.
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Married for 9.5 years.
Homeschooling SAHM to my quirky little beings:
D (5 yrs), M (2.5), E (15 months).
Baby expected January 2nd, 2010!
"In the first place, whether you choose or no to take any trouble about the formation of his habits, it is habit, all the same, which will govern ninety-nine one-hundredths of the child's life. We are all mere creatures of habit. We think our accustomed thoughts, make our usual small talk, go through the trivial round, the common task, without any self-determining effort of will at all." -Charlotte Mason
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