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Spanking


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  #1  
July 19th, 2007, 04:52 PM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For what types of offenses do you spank as a punishment?
At what age do you feel it is appropriate to start?
Does spanking work for your child?

Please share your experiences and since this is a touchy subject for some, remember NO debating.
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  #2  
July 26th, 2007, 12:32 PM
Jami&Marshall's Avatar Jami&Marshall
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For what types of offenses do you spank as a punishment? Serious offenses only. I only use it if he is doing something that he could get hurt on. Also, if I have exhausted all other tactics and he still won't respond.
At what age do you feel it is appropriate to start? A swat on the diaper at 18 months is when I started
Does spanking work for your child? Sometimes. I think it just depends on his mood because sometimes he will laugh, so I know it doesn't hurt him.
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  #5  
July 13th, 2008, 01:56 PM
Little Mrs Sunshine
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For what types of offenses do you spank as a punishment? absolutely none
At what age do you feel it is appropriate to start? absolutely never
Does spanking work for your child? not spanking works wonderfully for my child. I cant say if spanking would work because no one has held a gun to my head and made me do it yet


good luck with your decision. please research the physical, emotional, and sexual dangers of spanking before deciding if this is right for your child.
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  #7  
August 15th, 2008, 08:17 AM
Mommy2n1
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I don't really spank.. I don't consider a pat on the tush and redirection spanking. But maybe I am wrong. I can count on one had the amt of times I have had to spank my kids.. and my older ones are 8 and 12.
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  #8  
August 19th, 2008, 02:24 PM
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I typically use spanking as a last resort. If one of my sons has done several timeouts and the timeouts just don't seem to be working, I'll typically tell them I will spank them for the next offense. Sometimes, this stops the bad behavior, but other times it does not and I end up spanking them. I think spanking is okay as long as it is not part of you just lashing out in anger, but instead calmly administering the spanking as punishment. I hate doing it, but sometimes it is the most effective form of discipline when all other avenues have been exhausted. There is a parenting expert, John Rosemond, who discusses this at http://www.opposingviews.com/questio...-of-discipline. The website also offers the other viewpoint about why you shouldn't spank. I think it's a really great discussion and both sides make some good points about the issue.
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  #9  
August 20th, 2008, 05:23 AM
*1Boy1Girl*
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I will only use spanking as a last resort. A swat on the bottom with your hand isn't going to harm your child, IMO. However, such things as a belt I feel will leave scars on a child (emotional and physical). I grew up with that, and even though I got over it and am fine, I will not do that to my child. It hurt and it was very embarassing (especially in the summertime). My DH and I talked about this and we're going middle ground. Jordan was raised, looking back on it, AP style, and I was raised more on the TP side (probably more on the extreme side), so being middle ground for us will work.

My plan, if spanking is warranted, is to never do bare bottom with my hand, and I will not swat to the point where a mark is left. A sting is necessary for them to remember, but bruises and handprints are not.

Offenses: I'm not sure yet. He's not old enough for me to come up with anything.

When to start: when they truely no the difference between what is right and what is wrong and they do it anyway.

Spanking work for your child: he's not old enough to know the difference just yet, so redirection works right now.
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  #10  
August 20th, 2008, 07:05 AM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I typically use spanking as a last resort. If one of my sons has done several timeouts and the timeouts just don't seem to be working, I'll typically tell them I will spank them for the next offense. Sometimes, this stops the bad behavior, but other times it does not and I end up spanking them. I think spanking is okay as long as it is not part of you just lashing out in anger, but instead calmly administering the spanking as punishment. I hate doing it, but sometimes it is the most effective form of discipline when all other avenues have been exhausted. There is a parenting expert, John Rosemond, who discusses this at http://www.opposingviews.com/questio...-of-discipline. The website also offers the other viewpoint about why you shouldn't spank. I think it's a really great discussion and both sides make some good points about the issue.[/b]
ITA. Spanking is a last resort for me also, it has only been used a few times and never in anger. After all other methods have been used, they get a warning and if the behavior continues they get a swat on the butt. I would never spank bare skin, never use anything other than my hand, and never use enough force to hurt them. It's really only been used so far get thier attention when they will NOT listen.

I often agree with John Rosemond's common sense approach to parenting. I post a Thursday Thought of the Day most weeks and they are often quotes from him.
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  #11  
October 21st, 2008, 06:21 PM
IamMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I never spank my child. I was never spanked nor my sister and we turned out to be great kids/adults. I know that spanking would not work for my child b/c one time he almost touched the hot oven door and I swatted his hand and he said "Mommy no hittin me" and proceeded to lecture me on hitting and how it wasn't nice and I should just say "scoosee, no doing that please"...all the things I have taught him on how to deal with people who are getting in your way or doing something not nice to you. So I know he understands that hitting is not nice and so how can I hit him when I tell him not to hit others? So in our house, no spanking. We use time outs, loss of priviledges, and discussion of right and wrong....and it works really well. He likes to make us proud and we let him know when we are proud and when we are disappointed. That's how my sister and I were....the worst punishment for me growing up was seeing disappointment on my Dad's face.
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  #12  
November 30th, 2008, 01:43 PM
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Anything that they know to do that they don't do, or know not to do that they do do, would qualify for a spanking, lol. Obviously outright defiance would get one, although we wait until everyone has calmed down, or try to.

We have a wooden spoon that we use for a rod. We do spank on the bare bottom. My parents always used to say "your pants didn't do anything wrong, why should they get spanked?" I can't argue with that logic! B) I'm not sure why everyone gets freaked out about this nowadays--doesn't anyone see anyone else in their family undressed at any other time?
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  #13  
December 18th, 2008, 04:13 PM
Eowyn's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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For what types of offenses do you spank as a punishment?

Depends, I assess my child's attitude and motives always first. direct disobedience of the spirit generally results in a calm, controlled spanking-big things and little things. ( ive found that letting the little things go results in big battles but addressing the little things seriously results in little to no big confrontations. we do "choose our battles" -all of them! )
the first time-not a last resort. so, rule breaking, disobedience, direct defiance, whining( a rule), drawn out dramatic such as prolonged crying over some small invisible injury. we never spank unless she knows her actions will result in a spanking. She is never spanked for something she was not warned previously about-explained to and trained about. So-it is always her choice to receive a spanking. Alternatives are constantly applied to fit different situations. such as refusal to eat dinner just means sitting there at the table til its gone-even if its hours. (we've only had to do this twice and now our picky eater is a now champ eater )


At what age do you feel it is appropriate to start? Depends on the child. The methods we use for DD may not apply to her younger sibling. we believe in applying methods as fit for individual children. we started spanking over a diapered bum around 18 months. not forcefully obviously.

Does spanking work for your child? Yes. She is happier now then she ever used to be. she is such a cheerful, well behaved child - she is rarely disobedient over anything. and normally just needs a verbal reminder and no reproof.
I dont contribute this all to spanking- but spanking integrated into other methods- main ingredient of CONSISTENCY and most importantly-parenting in JOY and in LOVE.

no parenting method-especially spanking- will work if you have lost your temper, or even your cool- have disciplined from anger, frustration and even out of fear.
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  #14  
December 19th, 2008, 06:34 AM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Eowyn. Great post!
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  #15  
January 7th, 2009, 09:08 AM
Jami&Marshall's Avatar Jami&Marshall
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Quote:
For what types of offenses do you spank as a punishment?

Depends, I assess my child's attitude and motives always first. direct disobedience of the spirit generally results in a calm, controlled spanking-big things and little things. ( ive found that letting the little things go results in big battles but addressing the little things seriously results in little to no big confrontations. we do "choose our battles" -all of them! )
the first time-not a last resort. so, rule breaking, disobedience, direct defiance, whining( a rule), drawn out dramatic such as prolonged crying over some small invisible injury. we never spank unless she knows her actions will result in a spanking. She is never spanked for something she was not warned previously about-explained to and trained about. So-it is always her choice to receive a spanking. Alternatives are constantly applied to fit different situations. such as refusal to eat dinner just means sitting there at the table til its gone-even if its hours. (we've only had to do this twice and now our picky eater is a now champ eater )


At what age do you feel it is appropriate to start? Depends on the child. The methods we use for DD may not apply to her younger sibling. we believe in applying methods as fit for individual children. we started spanking over a diapered bum around 18 months. not forcefully obviously.

Does spanking work for your child? Yes. She is happier now then she ever used to be. she is such a cheerful, well behaved child - she is rarely disobedient over anything. and normally just needs a verbal reminder and no reproof.
I dont contribute this all to spanking- but spanking integrated into other methods- main ingredient of CONSISTENCY and most importantly-parenting in JOY and in LOVE.

no parenting method-especially spanking- will work if you have lost your temper, or even your cool- have disciplined from anger, frustration and even out of fear.[/b]
Very well put. I definitely agree.
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  #16  
March 14th, 2009, 08:33 PM
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For what types of offenses do you spank as a punishment? I don't spank

At what age do you feel it is appropriate to start? I tapped her on the butt and hand around 15 or 16 months and I feel that I shouldn't have done that. I think at the time I was reacting to her behavior rather than trying to correct it.

Does spanking work for your child? I spanked her a few times and no, it never worked. If anything, it made her act worse. Redirection and distraction works really well, but it takes a lot of patience and determination that I sometimes don't always have and I have to tell you I've been tempted to put hand to butt.
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