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How do you start letting them CIO??


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  #1  
July 25th, 2007, 08:16 PM
Danielle518's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have a 9.5 month old....I think she needs to start self soothing. I don't know how long to CIO at a time...start slowly...???
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  #2  
July 25th, 2007, 08:26 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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I started CIO with Ben right from birth. At first it was only a few seconds just to see if he was trying to get comfortable, passing gas, etc. and would go back to sleep. If he cried for 15-30 seconds, I knew it was time for the next feeding. After that, I did 1 minute per month of age. ... so when he was 9 mos old, I'd let him cry for 9 minutes. That wasn't a hard and fast rule of course. I knew what his cries meant. Since we started it right from birth and always had a bedtime routine, he never had a problem going to bed (except things like daylight savings time). I knew if he woke up crying, he really needed something. If he was whining/playing/grouching/playing, I'd let him do that for 30 minutes (and occasionally poke my head in the door with a "lay down!" ... he's so funny!). If he was crying/screaming/come here right now!/crying, I knew something was up and I'd go in sooner than his age-minutes.

Start out with maybe 5 minutes and work up from there. Also, when you go in, as long as she's dry and fed, don't pick her up or talk to her. Keep the lights off, rub her back, possibly hum or sing something boring like a lullabye, and then walk away when she's calm, but not quite asleep. That tells her you're still there and you still love her, but that she needs to go to sleep.
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  #3  
July 25th, 2007, 09:10 PM
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Thank you soooo much! I think I will try this with new baby too...

But no matter what I do don't pick her up??? this isnt gonna be easy!

My son was real easy! At 4 mons we started putting him in the crib, shutting the door, at first he cried a little bit but nowhere near as bad as Brooklyn!!
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  #4  
July 25th, 2007, 11:29 PM
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goodluck. I started letting Adelynn CIO when I realized well shes falling asleep in my arms and i know shes tired and i move her to her crib and she wakes up and cries... i know shes tired so i let her go for a lil bit. or if nothings making her happy and I believe its nap time i will let her CIO
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  #5  
July 26th, 2007, 06:20 AM
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Quote:
Start out with maybe 5 minutes and work up from there. Also, when you go in, as long as she's dry and fed, don't pick her up or talk to her. Keep the lights off, rub her back, possibly hum or sing something boring like a lullabye, and then walk away when she's calm, but not quite asleep. That tells her you're still there and you still love her, but that she needs to go to sleep.[/b]
This is exactly what I would have said but mine would have been a long rambling post, lol.

Good luck, we're here if you need support! Let us know how it goes!
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  #6  
July 26th, 2007, 07:00 AM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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Quote:
But no matter what I do don't pick her up??? this isnt gonna be easy![/b]
I don't pick Ben up unless he's crying so hysterically he's choking. ... and sometimes then I'll only sit him up and give him some water. Don't worry... when the time comes, you'll know. You know what her cries mean. If she really needs something, take care of it and put her back to bed. If she's just fighting sleep, ignore it. Some babies do better if you stay in the room. For Ben, we had to leave the room. If we sat there and watched him cry, it only ticked him off more that we weren't picking him up. Does she have something like a lovie or blankie that she usually sleeps with? You can tuck that in her arms and walk away so that it'll become a soothing item. Ben can sleep ANYWHERE as long as he's got his blanket. Luckily my sister made 3 of them. They're already starting to wear out.
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  #7  
July 26th, 2007, 09:27 AM
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No lovies for her

I'm afraid I can't do this! My Mom & hubby put her to sleep with a bottle I think that was last nights problem! She woke up 3 times last night.....Ugh! No more of that!

Is it ok if it take her an hr for her naps & bedtime??? I freak out that she will cry herself to death!

I gotta be strong about this!! I cannot do it anymore....She fights me putting her to sleep at night!

I'll keep you guys updated.
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  #8  
July 26th, 2007, 09:57 AM
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Be strong, mama! You can go in and comfort her, just try hard not to pick her up, like Chrystal said. As long as you know her needs are met and she is not hurt, you have nothing to feel badly about. If you are consistent it shouldn't take more than a couple days.

I would probably try night times first and then work on naps. If you do the naps first and it takes a long time to get her to sleep it will throw off your schedule for the rest of the day, and then she may be overtired at bedtime, and will likely put up an even bigger fuss!

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  #9  
July 26th, 2007, 10:20 AM
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Without reading other responses, my answer is gradually. You definately don't want the baby to feel abandoned, especially if you have never done CIO before. Since your DD is 9.5 mos I would start with CIO for 5 min, then go in soothe her, and leave. Repeat the cycle if necessary. Next night do the same thing but for 6 min, repeat as necessary. Eventually when you get to 9 min don't go passed that time frame until your DD reaches 10 mos, kwim? I did this type of thing with my daughter and the most I ever had to go in her room was two times. Good luck.

ETA: I don't pick my daughter up when I go in her room unless she is hysterical.
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  #10  
July 26th, 2007, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Be strong, mama! You can go in and comfort her, just try hard not to pick her up, like Chrystal said. As long as you know her needs are met and she is not hurt, you have nothing to feel badly about. If you are consistent it shouldn't take more than a couple days.

I would probably try night times first and then work on naps. If you do the naps first and it takes a long time to get her to sleep it will throw off your schedule for the rest of the day, and then she may be overtired at bedtime, and will likely put up an even bigger fuss!

[/b]
Thanks for the good advice. I'll just work on nighttime for now.


Quote:
Without reading other responses, my answer is gradually. You definately don't want the baby to feel abandoned, especially if you have never done CIO before. Since your DD is 9.5 mos I would start with CIO for 5 min, then go in soothe her, and leave. Repeat the cycle if necessary. Next night do the same thing but for 6 min, repeat as necessary. Eventually when you get to 9 min don't go passed that time frame until your DD reaches 10 mos, kwim? I did this type of thing with my daughter and the most I ever had to go in her room was two times. Good luck.


ETA: I don't pick my daughter up when I go in her room unless she is hysterical.[/b]
I just know it will take her longer than me going in there twice.....hopefully the agony with be worth it by monday Tonight if she is hysterical before 5 mins do I go in there or wait the 5 mins?

Would a night light be good for her?? I think she is afraid of the dark...We drove from N. ca to tx and when night time came & it was dark she would just cry! So maybe I should get a nightlight?? Or mobile for her crib??
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  #11  
July 26th, 2007, 11:56 AM
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We have a nightlight and a lighted mobile that we used to use for Marshall and that worked well for him. I just didn't make eye contact when I went in to comfort him and just tried to soothe him without picking him up. You are doing good! Keep it going. I know it's hard, but it will get better if you keep it consistent!
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  #12  
July 26th, 2007, 12:26 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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Heck, *I* still need a night light! It's probably a good idea.
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  #13  
July 26th, 2007, 01:02 PM
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I say if the baby is hysterical then go to her, and don't pay attention to how many minutes have passed. Remember, though, only if she is hysterical, your her Mama, you'll know! The only other thing I can suggest is be consistent in what you do every night, because if you aren't you'll be going right back to square one. Good luck!


Quote:
Quote:
Be strong, mama! You can go in and comfort her, just try hard not to pick her up, like Chrystal said. As long as you know her needs are met and she is not hurt, you have nothing to feel badly about. If you are consistent it shouldn't take more than a couple days.

I would probably try night times first and then work on naps. If you do the naps first and it takes a long time to get her to sleep it will throw off your schedule for the rest of the day, and then she may be overtired at bedtime, and will likely put up an even bigger fuss!

[/b]
Thanks for the good advice. I'll just work on nighttime for now.


Quote:
Without reading other responses, my answer is gradually. You definately don't want the baby to feel abandoned, especially if you have never done CIO before. Since your DD is 9.5 mos I would start with CIO for 5 min, then go in soothe her, and leave. Repeat the cycle if necessary. Next night do the same thing but for 6 min, repeat as necessary. Eventually when you get to 9 min don't go passed that time frame until your DD reaches 10 mos, kwim? I did this type of thing with my daughter and the most I ever had to go in her room was two times. Good luck.


ETA: I don't pick my daughter up when I go in her room unless she is hysterical.[/b]
I just know it will take her longer than me going in there twice.....hopefully the agony with be worth it by monday Tonight if she is hysterical before 5 mins do I go in there or wait the 5 mins?

Would a night light be good for her?? I think she is afraid of the dark...We drove from N. ca to tx and when night time came & it was dark she would just cry! So maybe I should get a nightlight?? Or mobile for her crib??
[/b]
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  #14  
July 26th, 2007, 01:06 PM
Danielle518's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks everyone for your help! I really appreciate it!!!! I will update while I am doing this tonight!
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  #15  
July 26th, 2007, 01:23 PM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My kids never needed nightlights, but they did have the FP aquarium and that lights up and makes bubbles while it's playing. They both LOVED it!! (Tyler still does) We definitely have to make sure there's extra batteries for that thing in the house just in case, haha.
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