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Bullies NEED HELP!!


Forum: Traditional Parenting

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  #1  
July 31st, 2007, 05:36 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2006
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My 11 yr old daughter, Samantha and my 8 yr old son, Brandon seem to be magnets for certain bullies. Granted I have not always seen these incidences first hand, but when I bring it up to the parent of the bully its always the same story--that their kid did nothing wrong, they never do anything wrong and it was my kids starting it. Why is it Im the only parent who cares about this. I guarantee you if my child was taking in bullying another they would most certainly be in some hot water. My kids will come home crying because because they were hit or were called a name. Ive told them to ignore them. these incidences happen separate bydifferent people. I was taught by my mother that i should defend myself but I was scared i never took up for myself. On one hand I told them first not to hit back but tell a teacher if it happens at school and bus driver if on the bus and to tell me if it happens at home. Being since these parents dont give a crap and let them get away with it I have half the mind to tell him to hit back to defend themself. Thats one thing at home but school thats a different situation because i dont want them getting into trouble for hitting--usually it happens when there are no witnesses so the bullies ends up blaming them and they will get into trouble. My daughter hasnt had any incidences at school but my son has. My daughter was bullied last year and once again no one saw anything except for the time it got caught on tape on the bus, the principal told me she would take care of it yet the girl wasnt disciplined. They swept it underneath the rug. I dont know what to do, Im ready to duke it out with the parents because i feel they are the role models for this abusive behavior and it has got to stop. Any suggestions before I end up going to jail for protecting my kids, they cant even go outside anymore. Just to clarify, the bullies are 2 boys in my neighborhood who go to school with my son. I have always taken it up with their parents but its getting to the point where i want to wrong their little necks for hurting my son and my daughter. I called the school because of an incidence that started on the bus that continued after they were let off, the principal hasnt called me back yet. Witnesses saw it and came and told me yet the bus driver did NOTHING.
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  #2  
July 31st, 2007, 05:48 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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If you see any marks on your children, you can call the police. They'll take pictures and go from there. I remember being bullied as a kid. I even had one girl who repeatedly STOMPED on my foot after I had surgery (I was 12). Nothing was done about it. It still bothers me to this day, but I at least have some consolation in the fact that I'm happy and successful; she's not. People like that will grow up to be nothing. People who turn the other cheek or in a non-violent way stand up for themselves turn out to have happy lives. You know, the quickest way to REALLY tick someone off is to go out of your way to do something kind to them... especially if it's done in a public way. Bullies usually have very low self esteem and have hidden conflicts in their lives. Making them feel special will take away their need to tear others down. I always had to stand up for my little brother on the bus (he's 6 years younger). Looking back I know he probably should have stood up for himself a teeny bit more, but to this day, even though he's 25 and he lives 11 hours away, he always turns to me when he needs advice or help with something out of his control.
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  #3  
August 1st, 2007, 05:12 AM
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((hugs)). im sorry your kids are having a rough time. I was bullied some in school too when i was real young. Oddly, with
the boys i would fight back but with the girls, i would run home and cry about it!
Its hard to say what is right to do... I know sometimes talking to the kids parents can make it worse. then the
kid is angrier and takes it out on your kid even more sometimes. and then may even throw in a threatning 'you better not tell'...
which in that case isnt going to help unless the school officials help out!!!

Here is a good article i found for you : kidshealth.org. Helping kids deal with bullies!

I hope you can get it all cleared up. And to our board by the way.
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  #4  
August 1st, 2007, 07:20 AM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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first of all. Although I wish it were better circumstances that brought you here.

I am so sorry for what you and your kiddos are going through, what a tough situation. And I agree that's is very hard to know what the right thing to do is.

I do agree with what you have told them so far, to ignore the bullies, to tell a teacher, bus driver, etc. I would have done the same thing. I hope that I would never have to teach my children that they should fight back, I want them to realize that they are better than those bullies and they shouldn't stoop to thier level.
I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to not be getting any help from the school or the parents. I don't really know what to tell you for advice, just keep trying to get through to them. And if they ever come home with a mark on them I would definitely take it to the police. And if you can't even get help from the principal of the school, then I would go over his head as well, and make a complaint to the school district.
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  #5  
August 1st, 2007, 01:29 PM
mikala101505's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i don't know if this is the right soulution or not but when i was in 5th grade i really liked this boy and his g/f didn't like me for it so her and all of her friends bullied me, i would go home crying everyday, i did tell the teachers but they still done it, one day my mom got tired of it and went to the school to talk to the principle said that she would take care of it well all the principle did was set me and the girls in a room by ourselves to 'work it out' well that ofcourse didn't work so my mom went back to the school and the principle said she would talk to us again but my mom said that she wanted to have a meeting with all of the girls and their parents my mom had an attitude and did get a little rude with some of the parents taht thought it was just childish games, but once they realized that it really hurt me and how serious it was then it stopped.
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  #6  
August 2nd, 2007, 09:11 PM
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Thank you for your advice. When i got home yesterday, my hubby was so mad because my son came home once again crying so he went down there to talk to the parents. of course, they said their kids were absolute angels, you could almost see their halos and my son was labeled as the trouble maker. These kids are smart, they do just enough to not leave a mark. he was kicked but the red mark went away shortly after. i talked to my brother, he works for the county, he is going to talk to some officers for me and have them contact me on what is the right thing to do. i have no faith with the juvenile court system, when i was a kid i was bullied viciously by 2 sisters on my schol bus, they would take turns pushing me against the side of the bus while i was in my seat. i never said a word, i just tried to ignore them and tried not to cry because that was what they wanted. i came home with bruises on my arm and my mom ended up taking them to court. of course the older girl lied and said she was protecting her sister from me and said i was bullying her. the judge found in her favor and she and her sister won. the abuse continued and even after my mom took pictures of every incident it never stopped until we moved. the principal at my kids school is seriously avoiding me, i have left messages for her and she hasnt returned my calls, i havent been able to get up there yet because my battery is fried. i plan on contacting the school board for her lack of attention to the issue. i told me son to try to stay away from them and not to say anything, i would try the kill em will kindness thing but he would get the wrong idea--hes not good at looking at the bigger picture and reading between the lines.
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  #7  
August 3rd, 2007, 06:41 AM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Your poor kiddos, that is so sad! It's a horrible situation to be in.
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  #8  
August 5th, 2007, 02:41 AM
sarah*'s Avatar Loving My Piglets
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urgh i was bullied so bad at school that even now when i think about it i cry.. it damages you emotionally forever. Schools were the same here then too they never did anything to the bullies. I was always told to stick up for myself but i never did but when i think about it now i get so angry i wish i would of just gave them a bit kicking back
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  #9  
August 5th, 2007, 02:52 PM
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im so sorry i hope the school board will take action!!!
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  #10  
August 5th, 2007, 04:56 PM
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I was bullied in school even in 10th grade by boys. I flipped out on them during class the one day and walked out. And the guidance counselor saw me and I had to go talk to him and then the principal. i dunno if the boys got into trouble but they were nice to me from then on. the one day i saw the one boy in my neighborhood and he came up and apologized and said he was the jerk and the one day at a different school boy were picking on me.... so i told them that its kids like them that pick on kids and get them to have low self esteem and thats why school shootings happen. well they took me seriously so i had to talk to the principal i told him what happened and i was just telling them why kids shoot kids and its because kids bully others around so much that they cant take it anymore. i didnt get into trouble they did

I was taught to defend myself. so yes i was in a few mouth battles and a few fights at school. a boy hit me wit a baseball bat cuz i was sticking up for my lil brother.... i punched that boy in the mouth and he hit me again so i punched him again... his mom called the cops on me haha
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