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  #1  
July 31st, 2007, 08:21 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 7,429
I am just curious on people's opinions here. I am part of an online group for my area, so we all live within the same city. There is one girl who has 4 children, she does not work, she does not have a driver's license (she's afraid to get one, it wasn't suspended or anything), but her husband does work. Now, she posted a few days ago stating that she could not afford clothes for her kids and was asking if anyone in the group knew of a 2nd hand store or if anyone could donate clothes to her. Then, when someone said yes they did she could come by anytime to pick them up, she proceeded to ask the girl if SHE could drop them off at her house because she does not have a driver's license (which IMO was kind of rude, just go get them after your husband gets off work, have hubby pick them up, but why ask someone to go out of their way when they're already being kind and giving them to you). Then she tells me today that she has gotten on WIC and food stamps, oh but keep in mind they have 3 dogs (which makes me wonder how they take care of the dogs if they cannot afford their KIDS!) and were getting another one last weekend. Then, one of the girls that was speaking with her via e-mail has sent out an e-mail to everyone asking that we all make a dinner and drop it by her house one night since she's having trouble feeding her family.

Now, maybe I'm just a $itch, but it kind of frys me first off that she has 4 children she doesn't seem to be able to afford (and 2 of them are 1 and 2 years old), that she has 3 and now 4 dogs that she probably can't afford, that if they are hurting for money THAT bad, get up off your butt, get a license and get a dang job (work nights while hubby works days so you can share 1 car). It just really frys me when people keep having children they cannot afford and then want everyone to help them out. And now on top of it they expect me, who works 8+ hours a day (I was laid off 6 weeks or so ago and I am working my butt off to work from home, so I'm probably working 50 hours a week right now), is providing very expensive medical care to 2 dogs that I have who are very ill (one is terminal with a brain tumor), who has worked extremely hard to own my home, has chosen to have ONE child so that we can have the things we want but also provide for him in clothes, school supplies, and a college fund, oh yes and I have a license with 2 cars, but I WORKED for everything I have, they expect me to not only take food out of my kitchen but find time to MAKE it too? Am I wrong for kind of feeling like this girl is just on the pity party train and taking advantage of people because she wants to be lazy? Like it's easier to take take take from people and to get WIC and food stamps than it is to get up and go get a job to help pay the bills? I feel REALLY bad for thinking this way, but it honestly ticks me off and I really don't WANT to take food to this woman. IMO if everyone helps out the people who don't want to help themselves then what incentive do they have?

Now, I DO help out people who help themselves. I have a lady who cleans my house every other week. She's a single mom and her ex husband is flaking on child support, she has 2 children (that she had BEFORE she was divorced) and she works her butt off full time cleaning homes. She owns her car and says she will not get a new one until she has extra money. She works hard but was telling me she had to go apply for state insurance because she couldn't afford the insurance premiums anymore. I gave her a gift card to Wal Mart so she could go get groceries or toiletries or clothes for her son and daughter or whatever they needed because I know how hard she DOES try to pay those bills. So I'm not a total cold hearted person LoL.

So anyone have any perspective on this?
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  #2  
July 31st, 2007, 10:51 PM
Perfectly*Mixed*Up
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JMO, but I think this should be moved to the debate board as it could cause some serious debates.
I don't really want to give an opinion on this board for fear that it could be taken incorrectly.
If this gets posted over on the debate board, please PM me and I will reply then.
I just don't want to start anything on a calm board.
I hope you aren't offended by this because I do have some strong opinions on this, some I agree with you, and some I don't.
I would be happy to give my opinion on the other board
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  #3  
July 31st, 2007, 10:57 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 7,429
Quote:
JMO, but I think this should be moved to the debate board as it could cause some serious debates.
I don't really want to give an opinion on this board for fear that it could be taken incorrectly.
If this gets posted over on the debate board, please PM me and I will reply then.
I just don't want to start anything on a calm board.
I hope you aren't offended by this because I do have some strong opinions on this, some I agree with you, and some I don't.
I would be happy to give my opinion on the other board [/b]
After 2 years I guess I may still be "new" in some aspects....do you have a link for the debate board because I didn't know there was one LoL. I will be happy to post it there.
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  #4  
August 1st, 2007, 05:52 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Alabama
Posts: 22,812
yeah...if its someone on JM...then its a tad against rules to post about her.
be careful.
i too cannot really reply to this b/c i dont want to start a debate or trouble on my board here.
i will say that i do agree and disagree with some of what you said though.
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  #5  
August 1st, 2007, 08:05 AM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: NB, Canada
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Here's a link to the Debate Boards, make sure you check them out. They are awesome!

All I will say here is that I can't really judge her for having dogs, or not having a job because we don't know the full situation. Maybe she's on a pet owners board and they are all making her dogs' dinner and dropping that off too....hehe Just kidding folks!

I do think she is being rather rude and expecting way too much of her online friends though. These kinds of forums are for support, and if someone wanted to offer such a caring gesture, then that is fine. But for her to ask everyone to help her out by making them feel guilty that her kids are going to starve and go without clothing is just wrong. I'm sure there are gov't programs or her own family and real life friends that she could ask for help. But asking that much of an online community is likely just going to make people feel very uncomfortable with her (like it did with you).
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  #6  
August 1st, 2007, 09:10 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 7,429
Quote:
yeah...if its someone on JM...then its a tad against rules to post about her.
be careful.
i too cannot really reply to this b/c i dont want to start a debate or trouble on my board here.
i will say that i do agree and disagree with some of what you said though.[/b]
As far as I know it isn't anyone on JM. I belong to a local group that is just people in my city, an e-mail group, if she's a member of JM then I am anaware of it. I posted this on the debate board BTW.
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  #7  
August 1st, 2007, 10:00 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Alabama
Posts: 22,812
Quote:
Quote:
yeah...if its someone on JM...then its a tad against rules to post about her.
be careful.
i too cannot really reply to this b/c i dont want to start a debate or trouble on my board here.
i will say that i do agree and disagree with some of what you said though.[/b]
As far as I know it isn't anyone on JM. I belong to a local group that is just people in my city, an e-mail group, if she's a member of JM then I am anaware of it. I posted this on the debate board BTW.
[/b]

OK, just making sure!

Youll be able to get better responses on the debate board about a heated topic such as this.... B)
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  #8  
August 1st, 2007, 10:19 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 7,429
Quote:
Here's a link to the Debate Boards, make sure you check them out. They are awesome!

All I will say here is that I can't really judge her for having dogs, or not having a job because we don't know the full situation. Maybe she's on a pet owners board and they are all making her dogs' dinner and dropping that off too....hehe Just kidding folks!

I do think she is being rather rude and expecting way too much of her online friends though. These kinds of forums are for support, and if someone wanted to offer such a caring gesture, then that is fine. But for her to ask everyone to help her out by making them feel guilty that her kids are going to starve and go without clothing is just wrong. I'm sure there are gov't programs or her own family and real life friends that she could ask for help. But asking that much of an online community is likely just going to make people feel very uncomfortable with her (like it did with you).[/b]
Well we all live in the same city and many of us HAVE met in real life and have made frienships. It isn't a board like this where people from all over the country can post, it is only for our city and it's an e-mail loop.
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