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My MIL can't stand noise. If she hears a baby cry, she cringes and when she hears it in public, she almost gets up and tells the parents.
Anyway, I let Caleb CIO and she can't stand that. She thinks that if a baby cries, then something is ALWAYS wrong and that you HAVE to go in there and cuddle and caress and calm the baby down. She's on pins and needles until he stops crying and sometimes she'll just leave the area entirely. Thankfully, for the most part, she listens and doesn't get involved, but you can see how annoyed she is in her eyes.
Thankfully, my mom believes in CIO too, so I don't have a problem with her.
Do any of you have this problem with your parents/inlaws where they silently give you a disapproval??
OMG, that would drive me nuts! Luckily I wasn't living at home when I had my kids so I didn't have to deal with it. My mom would have never been able to put up with it, and she would never have kept her opinion to herself either!
LOL...We're not living with my in-laws, although after re-reading my post I guess it could sound that way.
They're visiting since it's Caleb's birthday, but it happens everytime they are here.
Oh, and DON'T get me started if he should fall down the stairs a little bit (he's gotten quite good at catching the rungs to stop himself before hitting bottom). He cries because it scares him and what do they do?? Go down the stairs and rush to him immediately. I get the feeling from them that Caleb should not have any bruises on him whatsoever. All this stuff should be preventable.
What I do, is go to him and rub his back and head and wipe away his tears, but I don't pick him up because he isn't really hurt, but just scared. When he's done, I pick him up, kiss him, etc and give him a toy and that's it. He's over it in about two minutes. The other day when he caught himself, he cried for a half hour with them. If he does fall ALL the way down the stairs, then I'll pick him up because he makes a pretty big smack when he did it in the past.
After one week of them being here I have to re-train Caleb because he is so used to a more lenient lifestyle.
My MIL generally just makes snide comments to state her opinion and of course they are about how she would parent different. It gets old quick. I am not sure which is worse the slient disapproval or the inappropriate remarks.... tough call. I feel your frustration. Hang in there through the retraining process.
My mother is incredibly frustrating also. The inlaws arent as bad but they like to spoil the kids and act as if I'm SOOOOO strict if I don't let them have 10 cookies right before their supper, and stupid things like that. But MIL also freaks out about every bump or scratch and over-does the consoling which upsets them even more.
I wonder if we'll be like this when we have grandchildren? hahaha
My mother moved in with us 2 years ago, and she hates to hear my kids cry, but she does agree with it b/c I do only use it if they are waking up or fighting sleep for no reason, or are over-tired. She knows it's hard enough on me not to make comments, so she'll support me but also ask how long i'm going to let them cry, lol! She did it with us, but she says it's even harder listening to my kids cry, lol.