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Can anyone offer advice


Forum: Traditional Parenting

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  #1  
December 5th, 2007, 07:18 AM
BoxerMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi ladies. My name is Amy and I have a wonderful 14 month old daughter, Alexis. She has been a rather poor sleeper since she wasw born. I have taken to sleeping with her every night and quite frankly, I can not do it any longer. She is getting too big and needs her space, as well as I do.
She still gets a bottle at night before bed, and I have to cuddle h er until she falls asleep. I put her in her crib and about 30% of the time when I put her in there she stays asleep for 1-2 hours then is up scraming. The other 70% she wakes right up and I just lay her with me. When she wakes up she immediately starts screaming and will stand up in her crib until I go get her. I really need help on how to fix this. I would love for her to go in her crib every night and stay there all night. Any suggestions?? Thanks!!
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  #2  
December 5th, 2007, 08:15 AM
Jami&Marshall's Avatar Jami&Marshall
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I would put her in her crib when she is tired but not asleep and lay her down. If she starts to cry, then rub her back or her head or belly just to let her know that you are there. When she is calm, then leave the room. If she starts to cry, then you can go in there and reassure her but don't pick her up. Eventually, you can let her cry for a few minutes and then go in there just to let her know you are there for her. Eventually, you should be able to put her in there and she may cry for a bit and put herself to sleep or not cry at all. In the middle of the night, if she wakes up, then don't pick her up, just rub her back or head or belly to let her know that you are there until she calms down/goes back to sleep. Hope this helps!
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  #3  
December 6th, 2007, 10:45 AM
Laney21's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Jami. At her age she's probably pretty set in this routine so it may be a struggle to get through in the beginning but stick with it!

Good luck!
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  #4  
December 7th, 2007, 11:11 AM
*1Boy1Girl*
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AMY!!!!!

I just PMd you. I'd love to know how you are doing. I wasn't even sure if you were on the boards anymore after your move!!

Now that she is 14 months old, this is definitley going to be hard to break because as Laney said, she's in her routine already.

This is probalby going to be murder on you, but you're going to have to let her CIO some and bear with the screaming. This will eventually break, but you are definitely going to have to be strong-willed and be consistant.

When Caleb wouldn't sleep (but this was very early on), I would let him cry but never more than 10 minutes at a time. I would go in there, comfort him for 5 minutes by laying him back down, rubbing his back and calming him, humming a song, then I would leave humming as I left. If he started up again, then I would wait a minute longer than I did before, and go in there again. I never went more than 15 minutes with him.

There was two times I let him CIO for an hour and that's when my MIL was here and she couldn't stand him crying and would go against everything I believed in, and I had to break him quick. After one hour of screaming and hollering, he eventually cried himself to sleep and I had NO problem with him after that. That was the hardest hour I have ever had to bear, but I did it, and he was fine.

If you think you can do that, it's quick and they learn, but it's a VERY harsh thing to do.

Just be consistant and diligent and it will break and she'll know/learn that she needs to be alone at night.
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  #5  
December 7th, 2007, 02:02 PM
BoxerMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies!! It is hard because it is not like she is laying down when I go in and get her. She is standing up hanging on to the crib rail. I am just afraid that if I let her cry she will stand there crying all night. It breaks my heart to let her cry. I feel that she is going to hate me for it!!

Thanks ladies!! It is hard because it is not like she is laying down when I go in and get her. She is standing up hanging on to the crib rail. I am just afraid that if I let her cry she will stand there crying all night. It breaks my heart to let her cry. I feel that she is going to hate me for it!!
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  #6  
December 7th, 2007, 04:40 PM
*1Boy1Girl*
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She won't cry all night . She will eventually wear herself out, and that's probably what she needs at this point. She needs to know that you aren't going to come around EVERY time she cries.

And don't worry about her hating you. They don't know that yet, but I know what you mean. All will be forgiven when you eventually go to her or if she sees you the next morning. She won't even remember what happened 5 minutes after you let it happen.
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