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Your parents: how long will you wait to tell?


Forum: January 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
May 8th, 2012, 09:13 PM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We're really torn on this. On the one hand, we feel guilty not telling parents until much later because we feel like they really should know, regardless of outcome. We haven't approached it that way in the past, and I was glad. We wanted the time. We wanted to spare them the heartbreak when it didn't work out. This one is also a total surprise, so we're hesitant because, if something happens, I think that we'll try again. We're torn. I don't really care one way or another about telling my dad, and unfortunately, I lost my mom almost 9 years ago. BUT DH's parents might be happy and supportive. Or not. We're not sure. But we feel like we might have to tell them. Ugh.

What are you guys doing?
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  #2  
May 8th, 2012, 09:17 PM
Lucky Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We're still planning on telling them on Mother's Day. I can't keep the secret from them for that long. We're going to tell them that it's early and that we haven't had a viability scan yet. I guess we just spill the beans and hope for the best!
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  #3  
May 9th, 2012, 04:13 AM
mal91011's Avatar Mommy to Maxwell
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We're waiting till fathers day. While I'm extremely close with my parents, they also understand how private of a person I am. They will understand why I'm waiting to tell them.
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  #4  
May 9th, 2012, 04:31 AM
Babyschultz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I told both set of parents already. The day I tested the kids and I were leaving to go visit my parents for a week. (They live 5 1/2 hours away) We had many family functions planned while I was there and they would all suspect as soon as I passed on a drink. I'm not a drunk or anything, but I do enjoy socially drinking. So because I told my entire family I also called DH's parents. We are both super close with our familes and would tell them if we had a loss anyways so no need to keep it from them. They were all told to keep it hush hush.
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  #5  
May 9th, 2012, 04:35 AM
mommyfirst11's Avatar Veteran
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We are waiting about two months. I also am struggling to keep it for that long.
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  #6  
May 9th, 2012, 04:48 AM
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Ummm, about 3.2 seconds. We called family shortly after finding out. They only people I haven't told is my 2 kids and my boss.
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  #7  
May 9th, 2012, 04:59 AM
MammaWannaBe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I already told my mom. I wanted to be able to talk to someone who has been through it before and also knew that if something were to happen, she would be my rock through that as well. Other than that we are waiting to tell my dad and in law's till Father's Day most likely.
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  #8  
May 9th, 2012, 05:29 AM
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We told are family right away.
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  #9  
May 9th, 2012, 05:37 AM
michellelb's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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we already told too!
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  #10  
May 9th, 2012, 06:20 AM
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I'm telling on Mother's Day.
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  #11  
May 9th, 2012, 06:29 AM
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My mom and dad already know. I told them as soon as I got my second set of betas back.

It's kind of hard NOT to tell my parents. They knew about all of the struggles and infertility treatments that I was going through over the past years. They've even taken me to doctors appointments when I had to have testing done.

I'm an only child and I'm their only "hope" for a grandchild.

I'm EXTREMELY close with my parents, but I feel so awkward with them knowing b/c they are SO EXCITED. I just fear if I have a m/c I'll be letting them down (stupid, I know).

We may tell my MIL on Mother's Day (DH is pooping himself with excitement) but I don't want any of my SIL's knowing yet. They were all a bunch of fertile myrtles and if they found out we had trouble, I think (one) of them would make it her life mission to find out all of the gritty details. Plus this baby will be the 9th grandchild for my MIL -- not that she won't be excited, but she's done this dance a few times before.
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  #12  
May 9th, 2012, 09:04 AM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh, wow, so we're one of the only hold-outs. Ha! We're worried about no one being excited and making condescending remarks. If I were to lose the pregnancy, I don't want to be angry with them. Does that make sense? If it goes well, though, I feel like waiting a little bit longer, until we know for sure, might help things a little. Part of me really wants to find out what it is and THEN tell everything all at once. Hahahahaha I can't do that, of course, but it's so tempting! I don't want people asking for several weeks if I think it's a girl!
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  #13  
May 9th, 2012, 09:36 AM
mojomama's Avatar Super Mommy
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I keep wondering if we have to tell family at all. ha. viability hasn't been a factor for us...my parents just won't be thrilled. idk about his. his mom was really upset about our last baby, but mostly because she hated me. she likes me now, so maybe this time will be different.
while I have an urge to spill the beans to all sorts of random people every day, it is fun having this secret, just my husband and me :-)
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  #14  
May 9th, 2012, 09:42 AM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ha! That's what's making me wonder...I really feel the urge to tell people I don't even know, but I don't care too much right now about telling friends and family! Hahahaha I was thinking that we'd tell DH's family on Father's Day if we have good appointments before then. Maybe mine, too, but I think that they'll be a little less enthusiastic!
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  #15  
May 9th, 2012, 09:44 AM
minalyn's Avatar MOMMY to Evan 1/7/13
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My parents and FIL know. I tried to hold out till Mother's day to tell my mother but I was too excited, this being our first. I told her she couldn't tell anyone because I'm not ready yet and her reply was "where's the fun in that!". I did let her tell my stepfather, sister and brother. As soon as I give her the go I know she'll be calaling her siblings (we have a large family, she came from a family of 18 with 4 sets of twins!).DH doesn't want to tell his mother till after the 1st Dr. appointment on the 22nd. He's not too close to his mother so knowing him he may wait much longer than May 22 just out of spite.
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  #16  
May 9th, 2012, 09:50 AM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Out of spite! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, man, my dad doesn't ever act excited, but as soon as I hang up from him telling him news, I call my grandparents, and they already know! So I start calling my dad's siblings and the cousins...AND THEY KNOW! Parents have near-telepathic information sharing technology, I'm sure of it. I can't WAIT until I get it!

Also...FOUR SETS OF TWINS?! Your poor grandmother...
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  #17  
May 9th, 2012, 10:23 AM
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If things go well, we will announce in early July, after the 1st Tri is over. It's my DH's urging to wait this long. I have mixed feelings. If I m/c and hadn't told anyone, I'll only have my husband for support. He is wonderful (!!!), but it's nice to have sisters and mom to cry with. On the other hand, I don't want to be the girl who cries wolf if this one ends so that people become desensitized to my recurring pregnancies and miscarriages.

I want family to see my baby bump! We don't live in the same state as any of them. I hope I have something to show in early July, when we announce to DH's dad in person!
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  #18  
May 9th, 2012, 11:17 AM
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We are waiting till first ultrasound so we can have something cute to put on FB and to tell them
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  #19  
May 9th, 2012, 12:26 PM
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Not sure. My mom made a comment to Dave the other day saying "You two aren't going to TRY again ..are you???" He said "yep for triplets".
iamkc likes this.
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  #20  
May 9th, 2012, 02:34 PM
TeresaV's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We are waiting until after my first ultrasound on the 24th of this month. I'll be about 7 weeks at that point. This is my first pregnancy so I don't want to spread the word too far until I am more comfortable that it will last. We have been trying for almost a year so this is beyond exciting for us, and I almost don't want to jinx it.
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