We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
and register
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
Location: Military Wife ~ living everywhere my hubby is needed :-)
Posts: 348
I will be a FTM and while I have grown up around tons of babies, I keep hearing new rules for the first time. Things that babies shouldn't eat, wear or equipment that is unsafe. Is anyone else finding this too? It seems there are so many more rules now.
What are some things you all are learning to be no-nos?
You will keep hearing new rules too! My daughter is 5 and I'm still hearing them
My best advice is to do what works for you. Not everything will work with every child and do not be afraid to realize this. I was doing my best to try to follow "the rules" until we realized that we had been blessed with a special needs child- all rules went out the window then and we adjusted! Just do what is best for you and your little one and trust your mom instincts. You'll do just fine!
I would concern yourself most with safety issues. Most of the others (don't let the baby sleep with you/always have the baby sleep with you, don't rock to sleep/always rock to sleep, etc.) are all about doing what's good for you, the baby, and your family.
That said, the big safety ones that I can think of that I still hear people talking about ignoring:
Make sure that the car seat is installed properly. Your local fire department or police department can even help with that. There are lots of rules to follow with this (tightness, height of buckle, weight restrictions, etc.).
No crib bumpers. Chances are, your kid will be fine. But we have had several deaths or hospitalizations here from kids getting wrapped in those and blankets when they sleep. The parents don't know that the babies can roll or grab.
Don't put the baby in the seat anywhere high and leave it! I'm sure that many moms can attest to what happens then. Eek. Same with the Bumbo, should you use one.
And lots more. A lot of them are common sense. A lot are learn-as-you-go. We balance it. We put the Bumbo on the table, for instance, but we sit there and hold onto it/the baby. If we have to let go even for a second, the baby goes on the floor! Our babies always sleep on their backs, but if I'm sitting with them/lying with them, I'll allow belly sleep (especially ON me-it's my favorite thing!).
I can't think of anything that's not a safety issue that I would say is a no-no, though!
I would concern yourself most with safety issues. Most of the others (don't let the baby sleep with you/always have the baby sleep with you, don't rock to sleep/always rock to sleep, etc.) are all about doing what's good for you, the baby, and your family.
That said, the big safety ones that I can think of that I still hear people talking about ignoring:
Make sure that the car seat is installed properly. Your local fire department or police department can even help with that. There are lots of rules to follow with this (tightness, height of buckle, weight restrictions, etc.).
No crib bumpers. Chances are, your kid will be fine. But we have had several deaths or hospitalizations here from kids getting wrapped in those and blankets when they sleep. The parents don't know that the babies can roll or grab.
Don't put the baby in the seat anywhere high and leave it! I'm sure that many moms can attest to what happens then. Eek. Same with the Bumbo, should you use one.
And lots more. A lot of them are common sense. A lot are learn-as-you-go. We balance it. We put the Bumbo on the table, for instance, but we sit there and hold onto it/the baby. If we have to let go even for a second, the baby goes on the floor! Our babies always sleep on their backs, but if I'm sitting with them/lying with them, I'll allow belly sleep (especially ON me-it's my favorite thing!).
I can't think of anything that's not a safety issue that I would say is a no-no, though!
i think this is perfect. you are going to hear soo many "dont do this" and you might say "well i have been doing that and it worked for us" and just keep doing it. There are soo many moms that have more than one kid that think they know it all because they have a litter and you are on your first (sorry lol) it drives me crazy....! I have one already and I do things that some people wouldn't....but it works. You will be fine!
When I told my (now ex friend) that I was pregnant with our second her response was "oh that is nothing, wait til you catch up to me" (she has 3) I was like "really"
I'm a FTM mom too, and it gets overwhelming with everyone and their opinions. Especially with the internet, there's just as many people saying it's ok to do something as there are people saying it isn't ok.
The crib bumper thing was a new one for me. I just assumed they were fine since all the bedding sets are sold with bumpers.
yes the bumper thing is 100% no go. I seriously think buying a whole set is a waste of money because it is just for looks and you never want the baby in the bed with anything other than the sheet that is on the mattress.....when the baby goes to sleep you should have everything off and out of the bed.
I agree - Ignore the majority of it and just get what you are comfortable with, and DO what works for you.
When I was a FTM the whole "Back to Sleep" campaign was in full swing. Threats of dead babies, and SIDS etc etc. Well my first baby, when ever I'd lay her down, on her back, when fully asleep . . . she'd wake right back up within 5 minutes. I was SO sleep deprived thinking my baby would never sleep longer than 5 minutes or NEVER out of my arms.
After about 2 weeks of struggling with this, and so little sleep I was going insane (and after a c/s too mind you - and after the holidays my mother couldn't be bothered to come and help me what-so-ever), that the one afternoon I laid her down for the millionth time, all alone while Dh was at work, and she woke up yet again. I sat next to the bassinet crying in agony over the lack of sleep, right alone with my daughter. As I did a little voice told me "roll her over to her tummy". I questioned this, but reached in and rolled her over. She calmed RIGHT down and fell asleep.
I was scared out of my mind she'd DIE, so I could barely nap with her. But she slept for 5 hours, and I think after about 2 hours I finally gave in and fell asleep too.
Since then I take advice, even from PSA's with a grain of salt. I do my own research and do what works for me . . . us.
All of these rules, and guidelines, and "safety" regulations etc etc etc . . . we survived without them before and we can survive after. KNOWING is half the battle, of course. being informed about products, and issues, and dealing with them - IE older cribs and modifying them to BE safe, rather than just tossing them or learning the proper way to co-sleep, or deciding on an alternative vaccination schedule or whatever, or . . . or. . . or.
Flexibility is key, IMHO. Advice will always be given, doesn't mean we have to believe or take all of it.
Pretty much the only advice we followed was no strawberries, peanut products or honey until the age of 1. Some doctor's say 2, but our pedi says 1.
I didn't put pillows, blankets or the bumper in the crib with DD1, but she would only sleep on her stomach and still does to this day and she is 4. I just make sure she has a firm mattress.
DD2 coslept with us until age of 1. I tore the meniscus in my knee while on maternity leave and was on crutches until I had surgery. There were several weeks where I was unable to carry her and walk. I loved cosleeping so much that I regret not doing it with my first and will for sure be doing it with this one.
12Likes
! Just do what is best for you and your little one and trust your mom instincts. You'll do just fine!
Linear Mode
