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Forum: January 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
October 4th, 2012, 06:04 AM
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Dear BDTD, please share your suggestions about postpartum sex with your partner I heard it hurts so bad?
for FTM just like me, please share what you think and probably plan to do about this! Haha

*Was it really hurt?
*How long you wait before doing it again?
*Any suggestions on what to do with partner (that is safe) before we're able to do intercourse?
*If we're stitched, will we need to go to ObGyn to get the stitched clear? (have no idea:S)
*Will breastfeeding decrease your libido and hormonal changes etc?
*How about leaking bOObies?!?
*Did you and partner went solo before able to do it again?
*Do we need to start contraceptive right after? (even when we breastfeeding and haven't gotten menstrual cycles)?

I know my Q sounds stupid, anyhow I can't help not to ask for experiences!!
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  #2  
October 4th, 2012, 06:12 AM
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I always waited until the 6 weeks all clear from my doc. I was really nervous and it was slightly uncomfortable just because it had been so long. However, I have to say, whatever giving birth did to my lady parts, it was GOOD for sex. It was MUCH better after I had my first child! I don't know why, lol. So I would say just take it slow and carefully, but don't be too scared, it may be even better than before.

Also, breastfeeding can make things a bit on the dry side down there, so be prepared to use lube if you need it, or take your time getting in the mood. Also be prepared for lots of milk leakage during sex, lol.

If you don't want to get pregnant again, I would look into birthcontrol asap. If you are exclusively breastfeeding and doing it around the clock, it CAN BE a pretty solid form of birth control (for some women), but I wouldn't want to take a chance, ESPECIALLY if you ever supplement or if/when your baby starts sleeping through the night, etc. The thing is, you never know when that first ovulation is going to hit, and lots of mamas have ended up with another baby that way. I exclusively breastfed my daughter and she nursed CONSTANTLY, and I still had a period by 4 months PP.
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  #3  
October 4th, 2012, 06:20 AM
Angel.Eyes4351's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Dear BDTD, please share your suggestions about postpartum sex with your partner I heard it hurts so bad?
for FTM just like me, please share what you think and probably plan to do about this! Haha

*Was it really hurt? You are obviously pretty sore afterwards. The degree depends on your birth. You are supposed to wait at least 6wks pp whether you have a c section, vaginal, tear, episiotomy, etc.

*How long you wait before doing it again? after my c section we waited 5 weeks. After my vaginal with 2nd degree tear we waited 8wks.

*Any suggestions on what to do with partner (that is safe) before we're able to do intercourse? Oral for him. Idk I wasn't too worried about me to be honest. I needed time to heal.

*If we're stitched, will we need to go to ObGyn to get the stitched clear? (have no idea:S). Mine were dissolvable stitches, so no.

*Will breastfeeding decrease your libido and hormonal changes etc? Maybe? But mostly I know that it can make you not quite as lubricated during sex, and your vaginal tissue less stretchy. Invest in lube.

*How about leaking bOObies?!? Yep they leak during ESP during O. Never bothered my DH, but some men don't like it so the woman keeps her bra on with nursing pads. Easy fix.

*Did you and partner went solo before able to do it again? Not I, and I didn't ask DH.

*Do we need to start contraceptive right after? (even when we breastfeeding and haven't gotten menstrual cycles)? I got the Mirena 6wks pp after my first. I don't think I will have hormonal birth control again though. It can decrease your breast milk supply, and I think it messes with my brain chemistry. This last time I just paid attention to my body and its fertility signs. We were ok with another baby whenever God was ready to bless us. My cycle didn't return until 1.5yrs post partum because of Breastfeeding, and I never had a period, we caught the first egg.

I know my Q sounds stupid, anyhow I can't help not to ask for experiences!! Not stupid at all!
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  #4  
October 4th, 2012, 06:47 AM
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*Was it really hurt? I wouldnt say it hurt, but it just wasnt comfortable or enjoyable for me for a while. That who;e area had changed after my 3rd degree tear. I felt like DH thought I was going to be 100% back to normal after the 6 week clearance from the dr, and I think we were both surprised at how different it felt. I'm sure he was thinking, "Gee I hope this doesnt stay this way forever!" and I was thinking, "OMG, I am forever changed"
*How long you wait before doing it again? at least the 6 weeks, maybe more like 8 because I had a pretty severe tear
*Any suggestions on what to do with partner (that is safe) before we're able to do intercourse?
*If we're stitched, will we need to go to ObGyn to get the stitched clear? (have no idea:S) My stitches dissolved on their own. At my PP appointments, they would quickly check to make sure I was healing ok.
*Will breastfeeding decrease your libido and hormonal changes etc? For me it did. It was totally new to have my boobs leaking and serving the purpose of feeding my baby, so to think of them as a "sex toy" was a big turn off for me. For a while they felt to me like they belonged to my baby, not my DH. I didnt really get over this until I stopped BF'ing.
*How about leaking bOObies?!?
*Did you and partner went solo before able to do it again?
*Do we need to start contraceptive right after? (even when we breastfeeding and haven't gotten menstrual cycles)? YES! They will go over this with you at your PP appointment, and get you set up on something if you choose.
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  #5  
October 4th, 2012, 06:53 AM
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*Was it really hurt? I didn't hurt at all for me.

*How long you wait before doing it again? We did it at 6 weeks PP with my first and 4 weeks PP with my second. Fine both times.

*Any suggestions on what to do with partner (that is safe) before we're able to do intercourse? Oral, hand job in the shower. DH never pressured me to really do anything until I was healed and he was fine with waiting.

*If we're stitched, will we need to go to ObGyn to get the stitched clear? (have no idea:S) Mine dissolved too.

*Will breastfeeding decrease your libido and hormonal changes etc? It didn't seem to affect me, but the lack of sleep did.

*How about leaking bOObies?!? Big time. I had to wear a bra with a breast pad for several month while dtd or DH would be completely soaked.

*Did you and partner went solo before able to do it again? No for me. I am sure DH probably did.

*Do we need to start contraceptive right after? (even when we breastfeeding and haven't gotten menstrual cycles)? YES. You never know when you cycle will return. I BF for 25 months with my second DD, but got AF back at 3 months.
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  #6  
October 4th, 2012, 06:58 AM
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*Was it really hurt? At first it felt a little uncomfortable but no pain. I think a lot of the uncomfortability was also due to the fear of it hurting, I was so scared
*How long you wait before doing it again? They recommend a minimum of 6 weeks (basically until you can be cleared at your 6 week post-partum visit). I think we may have waited longer just because we were so tired and my fear of it hurting
*Any suggestions on what to do with partner (that is safe) before we're able to do intercourse? Again, I was so focused on baby that this was not something we did but oral is a good idea
*If we're stitched, will we need to go to ObGyn to get the stitched clear? (have no idea:S) I had a very minor internal tear and the stitches just fell out on their own as it healed
*Will breastfeeding decrease your libido and hormonal changes etc? I did not BF but I have heard yes it does and can also cause vaginal dryness too
*How about leaking bOObies?!? Once I dried up I did not have any leaking issues
*Did you and partner went solo before able to do it again? Nope
*Do we need to start contraceptive right after? (even when we breastfeeding and haven't gotten menstrual cycles)? You can get pregnant right away depending on when you ovulate. Most woman get a period post partum between 4-6 weeks (also speaking from soemone who did not BF, I think it could be different when BFing)...I have period cycle issues but I got mine about 7 weeks after
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  #7  
October 4th, 2012, 09:16 AM
alicia1984's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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*Was it really hurt? No, not really.

*How long you wait before doing it again? 6 weeks with my DD, but after my son was born I waited a bit longer because I had stitches and was sore.

*Any suggestions on what to do with partner (that is safe) before we're able to do intercourse? Cuddle? lol I don't know

*If we're stitched, will we need to go to ObGyn to get the stitched clear? (have no idea:S) hmm gonna say not always the case cause I never got checked down there at my 6 week check up and had stitches with Dominic. they dissolved on their own. No discomfort and I didn't really wanna get checked anyway. Just told him all was okay and was on my way.

*Will breastfeeding decrease your libido and hormonal changes etc? no

*How about leaking bOObies?!? hubby didn't mind.

*Did you and partner went solo before able to do it again? lol can almost gurantee he did.


*Do we need to start contraceptive right after? (even when we breastfeeding and haven't gotten menstrual cycles)? Yes, your ob/gyn or midwife will discuss birth control methods with you at your postpartum check up. It's best to not risk it or depend on BFing because you could still get pregnant after you have a baby... one girl I know got pregnant 6 weeks after she gave birth.
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  #8  
October 4th, 2012, 09:53 AM
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It hurt a lot for me. I kept thinking that I just needed to wait longer, but it turned out I just needed to grin and bear it once and then it didn't hurt like that again.

I kept a bra on (sexy, I know) because of the leaking issue. I did stop leaking by about 3mo, but I still warned DH after that that he might want to watch out if he didn't want to end up with milk on him.

My stitches dissolved on their own.

It's still a good idea to use birth control no matter what your breastfeeding situation is unless you're open to another pregnancy. I didn't get a period for 13 months and didn't ovulate for 15, but I still wasn't willing to risk it.
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  #9  
October 4th, 2012, 11:04 AM
nursingmama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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*Was it really hurt? For me OMG yes! I tore very badly though and then my tears didnt heal and after 8wks had to be cauterized and redone. So it was probably about 12 weeks before it was just uncomfortable to dtd and 6 months before it was completely pain free (though some positions still dont work for me) most my friends were ok after 6wks
*How long you wait before doing it again? 12 wks for me
*If we're stitched, will we need to go to ObGyn to get the stitched clear? (have no idea:S) My stitches dissolved on their own
*Will breastfeeding decrease your libido and hormonal changes etc? It did for me and it made me really dry so lube was our friend
*How about leaking bOObies?!? LOL yep! Mine leaked like crazy. it didnt bother dh but it bothered me so i wore a bra
*Do we need to start contraceptive right after? (even when we breastfeeding and haven't gotten menstrual cycles)? I didnt because we wanted another one and I didnt get a period for 6 months and didnt ovulate for 11 months (when i got pregnant with this little one) I breastfed that entire time but introduced solids at 5 months, no formula though
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  #10  
October 4th, 2012, 11:19 AM
Sawyers_Mommy's Avatar Cautiously Expecting #2!
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*Was it really hurt? Yes! We just had to use alot of lube and once we got to going it wasn't bad. The main thing that hurt on me was my perenium (sp) were I tore.
*How long you wait before doing it again? The same night I got the clear from my 6wk check up
*Any suggestions on what to do with partner (that is safe) before we're able to do intercourse? At around 4wks post baby we played around on the outside, just didn't enter the penis into the vagina. We also 4 played
*If we're stitched, will we need to go to ObGyn to get the stitched clear? (have no idea:S) I had stiches since I had a 2nd degree tear. My dr. didn't say anything about them but she did look when she put my IUD in.
*Will breastfeeding decrease your libido and hormonal changes etc? I have no idea
*How about leaking bOObies?!? Mine didn't really leak but I had stopped pumping about 4wks before we had sex
*Did you and partner went solo before able to do it again? No
*Do we need to start contraceptive right after? (even when we breastfeeding and haven't gotten menstrual cycles)? I'd probably play it safe with something. Cause you never know when you'll ovulate unless you keep up with your cycles and they are like clock work. I got the IUD at 6wks.
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  #11  
October 4th, 2012, 12:29 PM
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*Was it really hurt?

It hurt some. Sowe put it off for another few days and it was fine

*How long you wait before doing it again?

[COLOR="DarkRed"]Well, my answer if gonna be different then most bc we had a disabled child. It was 7 months. We finally got a night to ourselves bc the CCU nurses kicked me out and told me to go back to the hotel with my DH.


*Any suggestions on what to do with partner (that is safe) before we're able to do intercourse?

Lots of touching. That will make you feel connected. Kissing is great and it tends to help with self esteem issues too.

*If we're stitched, will we need to go to ObGyn to get the stitched clear? (have no idea:S)


Most use dissolving stiches. BUT ASK. Bc the ones I had with my son almost 18 years ago did not dissolve and I didnt know. SO I had scar tissue grow over them.


*Will breastfeeding decrease your libido and hormonal changes etc?

Generally not in a huge significant way. However,, I at times felt a "Do not touch me" feeling bc I had been nursing a lot that day.

*How about leaking bOObies?!?

Meh, it happens.

*Did you and partner went solo before able to do it again?

I didnt, no time/privacy.


*Do we need to start contraceptive right after? (even when we breastfeeding and haven't gotten menstrual cycles)?

I say yes. Breastfeeding is great, but I never would rely on it for BC method.
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  #12  
October 4th, 2012, 02:47 PM
MammaWannaBe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm SO GLAD these questions were raised. I've been putting a lot of thought into it especially since sex has been difficult while pregnant. I just feel like I don't know my body or how it reacts anymore. Some things that used to feel good don't anymore and I think because I am anxious to begin with I dry up quicker and it just hasn't been great most of the time :/ I worry that it might be even worse after I have the baby, but I'm hoping for the best! May just have to get creative for awhile and try other things and ease back into it
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  #13  
October 4th, 2012, 03:52 PM
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thank you mommas for the input...as for myself , i feel sex after pregnancy (esp after 2nd trimester) is a bit challenging in term of position etc, I can't do certain position that I used to like..only stick to certain "do-able" position haha I'm not sure how it will change again after giving birth...

I am thinking about oral+just fooling around etc but i am thinking, Will i even be in the mood at all? will "bend" forward hurt my abs etc ...i guess i will see how it goes...

I heard horror stories from some of my Gfs that they won't even able to think about it in the next few months after,too tired and no libido at all...and also probably self image/body issue (changing shape etc)

Keep em' coming girls!!
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  #14  
October 4th, 2012, 05:56 PM
Sawyers_Mommy's Avatar Cautiously Expecting #2!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrzvvz View Post
thank you mommas for the input...as for myself , i feel sex after pregnancy (esp after 2nd trimester) is a bit challenging in term of position etc, I can't do certain position that I used to like..only stick to certain "do-able" position haha I'm not sure how it will change again after giving birth...

I am thinking about oral+just fooling around etc but i am thinking, Will i even be in the mood at all? will "bend" forward hurt my abs etc ...i guess i will see how it goes...

I heard horror stories from some of my Gfs that they won't even able to think about it in the next few months after,too tired and no libido at all...and also probably self image/body issue (changing shape etc)

Keep em' coming girls!!
Well I know everyone is different. My experience is that I wasn't sleep deprived or too tired and was def in the mood! I would've done it at 3wks PPD had we not had to wait lol. I think this time around will def be different for me though. I am more tired this pregnancy and hardly in the mood so I hope its not like that afterwards.
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  #15  
October 4th, 2012, 05:57 PM
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*Was it really hurt? I had a c/s w/each pregnancy so no, intercourse itself didn't hurt.

*How long you wait before doing it again? Ummm, we were really bad and waited about 2 weeks each time, again I had c-sections though. I was supposed to wait 6 weeks but I was always ready for the challenge. I doubt I will be this time though as my sex drive has decreased a lot since last time.

*Any suggestions on what to do with partner (that is safe) before we're able to do intercourse? All the usual foreplay should be fine.

*If we're stitched, will we need to go to ObGyn to get the stitched clear? (have no idea:S) N/A to me.

*Will breastfeeding decrease your libido and hormonal changes etc? I can't remember!

*How about leaking bOObies?!? I can't remember if I leaked during sex. Ha!

*Did you and partner went solo before able to do it again? No, we were back to each other really fast so we didn't even think about it.

*Do we need to start contraceptive right after? (even when we breastfeeding and haven't gotten menstrual cycles)? It's always best to be protected if you don't want to risk having Irish twins. You never know what you're body is thinking!
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  #16  
October 4th, 2012, 06:59 PM
MammaWannaBe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm nervous about about the birth control part. My DH and I have almost always solely depended on my oral contraceptive to prevent conception (the first few times we used double protection but when we were comfortable enough to take the risk we went to just bc). This time I do not want to go on bc until I am done having all my babies. Going off of bc really messed with my hormones and I was so emotional and gained weight and had awful breakouts. I don't want to do that again so we are going to do just condoms and I'm afraid of how they are going to feel especially after giving birth :/

My poor DH!
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  #17  
October 4th, 2012, 07:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MammaWannaBe View Post
I'm nervous about about the birth control part. My DH and I have almost always solely depended on my oral contraceptive to prevent conception (the first few times we used double protection but when we were comfortable enough to take the risk we went to just bc). This time I do not want to go on bc until I am done having all my babies. Going off of bc really messed with my hormones and I was so emotional and gained weight and had awful breakouts. I don't want to do that again so we are going to do just condoms and I'm afraid of how they are going to feel especially after giving birth :/

My poor DH!
You could always do the non hormonal IUD. I thinks its called the Paragard or something like that.

Thats what I'm thinking of doing. I got the Mirena at 6wks with DS and in a month and a half gained back the 30lbs I had lost in two weeks after him being born. I know not everyone reacts to it like that but my body did. Plus I felt pregnant the whole time! I don't want to take the chance of gaining weight again so if I do anytime of BC it'll be the non hormonal one.

I hate condoms!!! Before I had DS they didn't bother me but now, no matter what brand or type we use, they feel like he has a loose plastic bag on him. Its gross and weird lol
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  #18  
October 4th, 2012, 07:13 PM
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Yeah I don't know what we're going to do BC wise. I really am not a fan of condoms, but I won't do bc pills or an IUD either. We were doing NFP and I guess we got lazy with it which is how we ended up with this baby, lol. I guess condoms it is for awhile.
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  #19  
October 5th, 2012, 04:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MammaWannaBe View Post
I'm nervous about about the birth control part. My DH and I have almost always solely depended on my oral contraceptive to prevent conception (the first few times we used double protection but when we were comfortable enough to take the risk we went to just bc). This time I do not want to go on bc until I am done having all my babies. Going off of bc really messed with my hormones and I was so emotional and gained weight and had awful breakouts. I don't want to do that again so we are going to do just condoms and I'm afraid of how they are going to feel especially after giving birth :/

My poor DH!
Same here, we hates condoms!!

probably will do some withdrawal the first few weeks before we decide on what BC to use
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  #20  
October 5th, 2012, 07:08 AM
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I would also suggest the non hormonal IUDs.

I woudlnt be brave enough to try the pull out and pray. My oldest girl is a birth control baby and my nephew is a BC and condom baby.

You could also look into charting, temping and buying a bunch of ovulation predictors to go along with the PU&P method.
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