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completely ticked off....


Forum: January 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By Mamayo
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  #1  
December 5th, 2012, 05:34 PM
.Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Pittsburgh PA
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I am so annoyed and mad right now, I know my hormones have a lot to do with it, but a lot of it isn't....

Since I have been first pregnant I have said I want not that many people there when I am giving birth. I want Andrews mom, my mom, my cousin, son (up to him), and husband. I know Andrews mom might not be able to make it but that is fine. I have also said I am not announcing on facebook or anything that I am in labor...I do not want anyone to know because I do not want everyone showing up at the hospital. This is our second kid, when he gets here I want us to bond as a family for a little while first before everyone comes to visit...but once I tell everyone he is here, they are more than welcome to come to the hospital to see him. I would much rather them come to the hospital then to my house...again, once we get home and settled I want it to just be the "4" of us for awhile just to get into the swing of things. These are my wishes, I have been very clear about that. My dad even said he is staying home because last time it was just too much and he would much rather come over when baby is "cleaned and ready to be held" (love it)

well today i was on the phone with my mom and I mentioned it again and she was like "Well you know you aunt (not saying name) might show up" I was like "no, because she won't know I am in labor, Karly knows not to tell anyone, and I have told you before not to tell anyone" she was like "well your dad isn't going to be there I would like her there to keep me company" I was like "you are going to be in the room with me, so she wouldn't be keeping you company" she was like "well she can stay in the waiting room" I said "this isn't about you or her, there is no point in her being there if she is in the waiting room...I do not want a lot of people there, including her" My mom literally got mad and quiet. I told her "well if this is the case I will call you once Zayden in here, that way I am sure that no one unexpected shows up...if that is the case, you can be called after also" and I hung up.

I honestly do not care if my mom is there or not. My mom also got mad because she said she feels like I am putting my cousin in front of her. I have said since the beginning of this pregnancy my cousin which is 21 and about to be engaged is "living this pregnancy through me" and she is there for everything. I also want my cousin there because she knows how to make me laugh and always knows what to say to me in times I need it.....so I want her in there with us.

I am soo mad right now because again, I get made out to be the "bad guy" because I do not want people there and I want to have quiet time with my new baby as a family before anyone else shows up!

OMG....I didn't think I would be dealing with this at 35 weeks pregnant when I have told my wishes since like 2 months pregnant! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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  #2  
December 5th, 2012, 05:39 PM
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That sucks! That would make me mad too. I've given clear instructions not to let my MIL in until after our bonding time. I think she's upset that one of my best friends is allowed to be in there but she's not. These people need to realize why we pick the people we do to be there.
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  #3  
December 5th, 2012, 05:44 PM
WENDYLL22's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I completely agree with your frustration. There is no reason for anyone to butt into your labor and delivery. I think your dad has the right mindset....
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  #4  
December 5th, 2012, 05:49 PM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh, JEEZ! How long before people understand that it's not a show, and that it's all about you, your SO, and the baby?! YOU get to make the calls. I don't think that you were being too harsh. I'm just sorry that she's being so dense and thoughtless!
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  #5  
December 5th, 2012, 07:01 PM
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Jeeeeeeeeeeeez. Why do people not respect choices!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #6  
December 5th, 2012, 07:14 PM
.Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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it ticks me off the most because i have made it soo clear I honestly didnt think i had to worry about it, now 5 weeks or less and im involved in this crap.

I am not picking and choosing who i want in the room as a popularity contest, there is a reason behind it....its not something that people should get mad over....!

ugh at least i know i am not over reacting and i am not the only one with this problem.

with Xavier all I remember before going into my c-section after pushing for 3 hours is puking my brains out while everyone kept coming in to "see me before the c-section" the nurse finally looking at me and then just yelling at everyone to get out and see me after....! she was like "dont even thank me" she just knew by my face. I do not want it to be like that again....especially trying to stay calm and getting this child out naturally. I do not think people understand that I am really trying to keep a calm mindset before all this because no one knows what is going to happen with this labor....I just want peacefulness...lol .
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  #7  
December 5th, 2012, 10:06 PM
Dee
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Who on earth has so much time on their hands that they can just hang out in a waiting room or delivery room waiting for someone to deliver a baby? Crikey, I have things to do, and when the people I love have their babies, I go see them when they're done, clean, and have said it's a good time to come.

Sounds like you are going to need an excellent nurse and a flip book with photos to say who can stay and who must go. Sheesh.

(P.S. - Good luck trying to get all these people to show up for your kid's piano recital in 5 years, which will be held in an auditorium, not a delivery room.)
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  #8  
December 6th, 2012, 01:01 AM
Lucky Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Your birth, your rules. Simple as that.

If your mom can't respect that, she forfeits the privilege of being there. I honestly cannot imagine trying to invite someone to another woman's birth, especially when that woman has made it perfectly clear that she does NOT want people there. I'm sorry, but that is just beyond inconsiderate. I would be pissed off, too.
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  #9  
December 6th, 2012, 05:33 AM
MommaTooters's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky Mama View Post
Your birth, your rules. Simple as that.

If your mom can't respect that, she forfeits the privilege of being there.....I would be pissed off, too.
THIS!!!!

I feel for you. The last four labors & deliveries have been a 'show' and I'm so over it. I always felt like I had to 'entertain' people and smile and be nice and all that crap. However, this time around its all about MY little family! So far nobody has asked to be there nor have I extended an invitation to anyone! We're flying under the radar this time around! I've lined up a sitter for the kids who doesn't know my family so therefore won't be able to tell them she will bring the boys to see the baby before any ami,y or friends know that the baby is born. Once we are done 'meeting' baby sister THEN, and only then, will I allow visitors!!


It sucks having to be this way and I know I tick people off but once the baby is here I'm hoping they forget all about it and just love on her. Doubtful they will forget but one can only hope!
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  #10  
December 6th, 2012, 10:17 AM
.Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Soo happy people don't think I am rude.

Oh this aunt has nothing better to do, believe me...I can get started on personal things but I am just going to be a good hormonal prego and smile at my computer screen right now (hahahahahaha)

Seriously, I love how you mentioned getting people to come to a recital or something in years to come...you are soo right....everyone wants to be at this birth, but when X has a promotion in Karate no one is to be found. I LOVE THIS POINT AND I WILL BE REMEMBERING IT. Come to something like that rather then me pushing out a watermelon through my whoha. I would much rather you see my son do something then me trying to entertain and bond with a new life.

I sent my mom a text last night explaining myself and also saying that I will call her once Zayden is here, along with everyone else....she never wrote back....but I am holding my grounds. It is going to be just the 4 of us when I go into labor (my cousin included).
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  #11  
December 6th, 2012, 10:54 AM
Angel.Eyes4351's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I so understand your frustrations! My mother invited her church friend to my last birth last minute because "she comes to see everyone's baby be born" and "I didn't want to drive alone." Give me a freakin break! And church lady, who I love, but she isn't in my list of people to invite to my birth, wrote on my FB about driving to the guest house I'm birthing at. So I had to nip that and say no one is coming. Hate it.
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  #12  
December 6th, 2012, 11:45 AM
.Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yea, i can just imagine all the photos on FB that would show up with certain people on my list before I even see my child....I can just see it now. It is not going to happen.....ugh.
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