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about to make a huge decision.... *update in 1* i can breath


Forum: January 2013 Playroom

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  • 6 Post By .Nikki.
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  • 1 Post By MammaWannaBe
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  #1  
December 12th, 2012, 10:51 AM
.Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am thinking about rescheduling my c-section for 39 weeks....and forgetting my v-bac, unless I go between now and 3 weeks. I just realized I start school on Jan 7th for Spring...which I really wasn't thinking about and if I wait til the 15th and do not go I am going to be going to my first class 41 weeks prego, then going in the next day to have baby then I have to go right back the next week....I am not going to have ANY time off.

I feel so selfish for even thinking about this because I swore I would do anything not to have a c-section but now I just want to meet my little one and have time with him w/out worrying about class work and stuff...even if it is just a few days. I do not know what to do. I called my doctors office and they are going to call me back. I am sitting here in tears because I am so confused. My husband is starting to think the c-section is the right way to go too...just so I get some free time. And like he said, if I have the baby the week before school starts, I can email my teacher, and take that first class off...which we just go over the syllabus and stuff anyway, so really it would give me 2 weeks with baby....rather than missing the second class if I wait til the 15th where I am going to really need to be there.

girls, my hormones are soo bad today but i am really upset and do not know what to do. i really want to say F IT and withdraw from all classes this spring, but then it messes with my financial aid and I cannot do that. UGH...I just wanna cry. I wish there was a way I could go naturally like NOW....or well when I am full term. (in no way am I wishing for a premie) and i really DO NOT want a c-section, but maybe I just need to do it.....AHHH im listing the pros and cons.

Im supposed to be studying for my final but I cannot even do that, I am sitting here spacing out thinking.


~*~*~*~UPDATE~*~*~*~

Thank goodness for my hubby...he was like "sit down go through your classes again and make sure there is nothing else you can take online" I honestly thought my Sociology class had to be taken after my psych. Well, there was no "prereq" mentioned online...and there was ONE seat open in the online class. Andrew was like "just grab it" so I took it.....then I did the biggest decision EVER....I dropped my Anatomy 2 class....! My aid should still stand good because I am only losing one credit, instead of Anatomy being 4 credits, my Sociology class is only 3 credits, but it shouldn't make a difference. I feel bad because I do feel like I am "taking it easy" this semester but I am still taking 3 online classes, which is going to be a lot of work but at least I can calmly not worry about going out to classes. If it wasn't for my husband's sound mind I would of never thought to double check the classes.

I can breath after my final tomorrow....and take it easy and just wait for baby to come naturally....like I wanted all along.

now....if only i could have a big glass of wine i would be a happy mama....lmao......
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Last edited by .Nikki.; December 12th, 2012 at 06:50 PM.
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  #2  
December 12th, 2012, 10:57 AM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh, sweetie. That's a tough call, I know! BUT it's good that you're thinking ahead. You're not doing anyone any favors by being so stressed and worried at that point. It sounds like you've already made a good list of pros and cons, and the pros of c-section may win. I don't blame you. It's hard to have a deadline on stuff like this, isn't it? How far along would you be by that point? Do you think that your teacher will understand everything? Maybe email your teacher now to get that ball rolling.

Or, is there a way to email your teacher to see if there's a possibility of him/her being a little lenient, should you decide on VBAC? I hate to throw that wrench in there, but you never know.

I'm sorry that you're so torn about it. In every way, though, we all know that you're trying to do what's best for you, your family, and your baby! Looks like today is the day of reconsidering birth for those of us with deadlines of sorts or schedules hanging over our heads! EEK!
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  #3  
December 12th, 2012, 11:08 AM
.Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I feel like I am a MOM first....student second...which is the truth...so I shouldn't even have this decision....I shouldn't even have a decision about a c-section, since there is NO MEDICAL REASON to do it.....I should just wait....but then knowing that I COULD just do it.....makes me like "wow I can have some time with baby"

Ugh. I cannot wait til hubby gets home to cry to him and figure things out.
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  #4  
December 12th, 2012, 11:13 AM
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You're right. But I can't say that I wouldn't be making the same decision. In a weird way, with as much anxiety as I have attached to my last c-section and the possibility of one now, with DH not having time off after January 1st, there might be part of me (tiny, but persistent) hoping for them just to call it and give me a c-section. My EDD is January 8th, but my chart says 5th or 6th. They wouldn't want to do it too early, so I've even given in and started using the 6th as my EDD when they confirm it. *sigh* It sucks. It sucks HARD. And I REALLY don't WANT a c-s, and I'm sure that you don't, either. Life just gets in the way of other life sometimes.

I hope that you and DH can figure out something. I'm sure that there's a lot to discuss that neither one of you has even thought about yet. Good luck! (And KUP on what the doc says!)
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  #5  
December 12th, 2012, 12:49 PM
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That is a difficult call. I would say though in your case and if I was in your shoes, I would do a C section. You have some serious planning to do and can't afford not to go back in the spring. Also you're not a bad mom for wanting it if he is ready, it's more time to spend with your little guy and more time to heal before classes start. You need to think of your health as well.

I don't think you're being selfish and I don't think that's a bad idea. Just let it go for a bit and see what happens and what your doctor says. Then have a cookie and go study!
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  #6  
December 12th, 2012, 01:15 PM
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Yikes that is tough. I really don't have any advice i can offer being a FTM.

My only question is how would recovering from the C section effect your schooling?
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  #7  
December 12th, 2012, 01:24 PM
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I would call the teacher and tell him/her of your status and find out what would happen if you went into labor right as classes were starting. Maybe you could have the class filmed, do it from home when baby is sleeping and not miss out on baby or class time and still avoid the c-section. I honestly believe most teachers would be understanding and work with you as much as possible.

I would do everything to avoid a major surgery if it wasn't medically necessary. I have heard too many horror stories about c-section recoveries not going very well.
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  #8  
December 12th, 2012, 04:02 PM
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I can appreciate your predicament. I am very thankful that I JUST finished school myself. If I wasn't done, I would be starting next term 37 weeks pregnant, and with no time off.

That said, I still personally wouldn't do a major surgery if it wasn't medically necessary. I would call your teacher and see if any sort of special arrangements can be made. You might be surprised what they might do to work with you on this?
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  #9  
December 12th, 2012, 04:09 PM
Angel.Eyes4351's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Big giant hugs. That is a huge decision, and you seem really torn. I don't think I could do it... especially considering the quality of the time you're spending with your little man. IDK I'm probably biased... I loved my VBAC so much, and was bound and determined to avoid a c-section, and am again.

But honestly either way I can't imagine going back to school with a newborn! And I'm not in your shoes, so I know "what I would do" is is a diff situation. Praying for guidance in this decision and for what's best for all involved.
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  #10  
December 12th, 2012, 04:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel.Eyes4351 View Post
But honestly either way I can't imagine going back to school with a newborn! And I'm not in your shoes, so I know "what I would do" is is a diff situation. Praying for guidance in this decision and for what's best for all involved.
Exactly this. I'm really hoping to avoid major surgery (freaking out about it, in fact), but I can see the appeal in both cases. And in your case, I have no idea what I would do. We don't know everything in your personal situation. I just don't envy you having to make that decision at all!

Did your doc ever call back? I'm curious what s/he thinks about the whole thing.
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  #11  
December 12th, 2012, 04:30 PM
.Nikki.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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the doc called and left a message (i didn't answer) i just have too much to think about. with a c-section i wont be able to drive to class for a few weeks so andrew would have to drive me (and the 2 kids) to and from class....so that is another thing.

the other major thing is breast feeding.....I didn't even put that into the equation and now that has me going crazy.

I am still really leaning toward the v-bac because i DO NOT want surgery, but yet again.............i listed the "pros" of it.

ugh. i wish i actually had time to sit down and think about this before now, i just never had the time to really put it all together, and now that it is becoming soo close....it is all kicking in.

i might stop by my school tomorrow since i have a final and see how much it will effect my aid if i took the semester off.
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  #12  
December 12th, 2012, 07:25 PM
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Oh I am so glad you were able to come to a solution!!! Best of luck on your final tomorrow!!!
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  #13  
December 12th, 2012, 07:36 PM
Dee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .Nikki. View Post
I feel bad because I do feel like I am "taking it easy" this semester
...
I can breath after my final tomorrow....and take it easy and just wait for baby to come naturally....like I wanted all along.
If there ever was a semester to take it easy, this one is it! And it's great that together you came up with a plan so that you can work toward the kind of birth you want without compromising your financial aid.

Very nice.
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  #14  
December 12th, 2012, 07:42 PM
Angel.Eyes4351's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh yay! Glad you have got it worked out. Um I don't think going to school with a newborn is taking it easy at all... So no ma'am with the guilt. I am cheering for your VBAC!
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  #15  
December 12th, 2012, 07:50 PM
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WOOHOO! I am so excited that it's worked out! And like Bri said, taking ANY classes with a newborn? SOOOOO not easy!

Still cheering you on for your VBAC! And thank goodness for Andrew!
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  #16  
December 12th, 2012, 08:11 PM
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That is WONDERFUL news!! I'm so happy and relieved for you!
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  #17  
December 12th, 2012, 09:06 PM
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Yay!!! Glad you got it figured out!

Just a word of caution, not to rain on the parade, but most colleges require you to take 12 credits to keep full time aid. 11 drops you down. So if that 3 credit hour class takes you under 12 credit hours, I would call and double check. Again, not trying to spoil your good news, but I learned the hard way that 1 single credit can mess up your whole financial aid package.
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  #18  
December 12th, 2012, 09:24 PM
Lucky Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yay! I'm soooo glad you found a solution! And yay for a VBAC, too! I'm glad you get to go for a VBAC AND still stay in school. You are Wonder Woman, btw!
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