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Ok this seriously sums up how I have been feeling but didn't know how to put it. I long for breaks from this creature sometimes, but I'm in pain if I am away from her for too long. It really is a gorgeous catastrophe.
I know. As you know I've been fighting a little depression and trying to figure out my place in the world as a mother. I love this person more than my own life but I'm so conflicted by everything. I feel horrible coming to the realization that I cannot be a stay at home mom. Im just not cut out for it. But I don't want my little guy to be in daycare all day. I'm finding myself not wanting to go back to work. And I love my job so much. It's been my identity for so long.
Wow...this definitely made my cry..but in a good way. I had waited as long as I could to have a baby (32) because I wanted to continue to live my life the way I wanted to. You never realize how much you know yourself, how much you are stuck in your ways or in your life until you have something/someone like a baby who comes and changes it all. It sure is a lot to get used to. I agree the term beautiful catastrophe is a perfect description!