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A lose lose situation!


Forum: January 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
February 20th, 2013, 01:52 PM
Sawyers_Mommy's Avatar Cautiously Expecting #2!
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Location: North Carolina
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Ugh my toddler is driving me batty with his sleeping patterns!!

He has always been a good sleeper and napper. He'd go to sleep for naps and bed time by himself and he'd go at a specific time and was easy to lay down when it was that time of night or nap time, but the past 2wks have been crazy! He has been without his paci for 2wks and hasn't really asked for it, which has been awesome! Well ever since the first night I've had to lay in his room with him for him to go to sleep. Which is fine becaus I figure he's probably just adjusting to not having his "ba ba". Its kinda annoying and hard but I'm trying to work through it. The ardest part though is that he's gotten to where it's taking him sooo long to go to sleep! But yet he screams and gets out of his bed if I leave him in there. I try to get him in bed by 9pm but it ends up being 10 or 11pm before he falls asleep. There has been a few good nights where he's fell asleep quick but those nights it was 10:30 before I got him in there to go to sleep.


SO then I think ok maybe I should just let him skip naps so he'll go to bed early but I can't do that because he gets sooo grouchy and won't listen to anything without a nap. If he doesn't have one he gets sleepy about 6pm but If he was to fall asleep, he'd sleep a couple hrs and wake up thinking it was time to be wide awake. So if he skips naps I have to fight with him, plus try to keep him awake until 8:30 or 9pm. He just isn't a sleeper anymore.



On top of this, every night for the past 2wks or so he has been waking up crying in the middle of the night so I have to get up and go in there and lay with him. Half the time I think he's having bad dreams and talking in his sleep because I'll go in there and he won't even be awake but he'll be crying and stuff. If not him crying in the middle of the night, it's him getting up and coming into bed with us. Idc occasionally but we only have a full size bed,plus to me, the bed is cuddle time for me and DH and it's hard to get comfortable in a full size bed with a toddler! So then I have to get up and take him back to his bed.

Anywho! It's either give him a nap and then take forever! to get him to bed at night, or it's skip naps from now on and then have to fight for him to stay up until atleast 8:30 and go crazy because he's grouchy and whiney! I'm hoping him not going to bed at night by himself and getting up at night is adjustment to his paci being gone and I can try to get him back in the habit of sleeping all night. He's been sleeping all night since he was 2months old, except for on occasion so this is frustrating! It wouldn't be so bad if Marshall wasn't getting at night still.

Any tips on getting him to sleep through the night again or to go to sleep on his own?
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  #2  
February 20th, 2013, 04:24 PM
mojomama's Avatar Super Mommy
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I probably wouldn't have made a change like taking away his pacifier so close to having a new baby to adjust to... But I wouldn't recommend giving it back if he's not asking! He's th the same age as my Gwen, and she's also trying to make the transition from nap to no nap, although it sounds like it's going g a bit more smoothly here. My other kids have also dropped naps at about this age. It's always been a time where we deal the best we can until the kid gets it figured out. I'm currently encouraging quiet time around one o'clock. Some days it works, and some it doesn't. If it doesn't work, and she hasn't gone down by two thirty on her own, I know bedtime needs to be a little earlier, and we need to stay active until then.
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  #3  
February 20th, 2013, 04:56 PM
Sawyers_Mommy's Avatar Cautiously Expecting #2!
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Oh I didn't intetionally take it from him. The first night he would not go to bed! I even laid him down in the bed with me becuase it was nearly 11pm and he just kept laying there sticking his tongue out and playing with his paci so I told him to let me have it. I had intended to take it for a few min and give it back but he never asked and we ended up falling asleep. The 2nd night I gave it too him and was trying to get him to bed, he was mad because I did our normal routine but he wanted me to stay in there so he threw his paci. I gave it back to him but he threw it again so I kept it. He went to sleep again without asking for it. SO then I figured since he had for two nights without it then I might as well try and he only asked a bit for it and I really didn't know where his was so I told him I didn't know where it was and that he was a big boy and he wouldn't ask anymore for the night once I said that. He only asked for about a week on and off and I'd just say the same thing and he'd stop asking. I think he must've been ready to give it up because any other time we've tried he's screamed for it.

Yeah I like the idea of quite time. I have always said that once he got bigger I was atleast going to make him have that even if he didn't go to sleep. I just didn't think it'd be this soon that he didn't take naps!
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  #4  
February 21st, 2013, 05:44 AM
joellejello's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My 2 year old is having some of the same sleep issues, waking up in the middle of the night crying, wanting us to lay with him, skipping naps (which he REALLY can't do, he still needs them for sure). I think for him having the baby around is just really throwing him off. And he's getting his 2 year molars. I miss sleep.
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  #5  
February 21st, 2013, 10:57 AM
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I can't even imagine dealing with a cranky toddler plus a newborn! As a FTM I don't have any real advice but i like the idea of quiet time good luck!
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  #6  
February 21st, 2013, 11:11 AM
MarlowesMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Lurking from December playroom. I have a 3 year old who is adjusting quite nicely to her new sister, with the exception of one thing: sleeping. Our previously fantastic sleeper started having fits and crying - and when it usually took us 15 minutes to get her down (and that was after 3 books!) pre-baby, it was now taking us at least 30. And that was only after leaving her in her room crying.

Partly the problem is the age; They really do start having issues with becoming scared about the dark and about other "scary" things at this age. But the other part is definitely all about the change in the household, IMO.

What works for me is to start talking about going to bed WELL in advance of actually doing it. When you're at dinner, start dropping hints about what books he wants to read when he goes to bed, at bathtime you might discuss what you're going to do the next day when you wake up from bedtime, after reading books we discuss what she is going to dream about, etc...

We also talk (during tuck in time) how "safe" she is in her bedroom, and how lucky she is to have such a big girl bed. We then discuss how big girls don't need to sleep in their mommy and daddy's bed. We also gave her a "magic" blanket, which will keep her extra safe, and she always sleeps with that.

I should also point out a couple of things: we do let her sleep with us occasionally. This is usually once or twice a week. And yes - it's a total PIA for me, since I'm EBF and I have to deal with two LO's demanding my attention in the middle of the night, but I chalk it up to one of those things that's just the lesser of two evils. It's better for her to feel welcome in our bed - then it is for me to get the space I want. Since we make a big deal about the nights she gets to sleep with us - she much more readily accepts the fact that she has to sleep in her own bed too on those other nights.

Finally (and this is my last thought, I swear), we DID have issues with our fantastic sleeper before she became fantastic too...around 2.5 years. What truly made her into such a fantastic sleeper originally was buying her a new bed. She slept in the crib up until that point (she is small, and we never had issues with her climbing out), and she would wake up all the time in the middle of the night, crying out for us. Once we bought her that big girl bed...it was like magic. She slept through the night the very first night she was in it...and we had NO problems up until her little sister was born!

I hope this helps!Good luck!
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  #7  
February 21st, 2013, 12:48 PM
Sawyers_Mommy's Avatar Cautiously Expecting #2!
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Thanks guys

It probably does have some to do with the new baby. Not for sure since it didn't start when he was first born but it still could be. And I totally forgot about 2yr molars! I haven't noticed them trying to come in yet but they could still be bothering him.

I don't mind him sleeping with us every once in a while, I just don't like it being an every night thing. He does come in there every morning, has for a long time and that is fine with me since we generally get up 30min to an hr after he comes in there.

I'll have to try the talking about bed thing before hand. I have thought that maybe we should get him a stuffed animal for him to cuddle and carry around or to sleep with since he is without his paci now. Maybe that would help some? Not sure if he's quite big enough to understand its a 'special & safe' blanket/animal like with your daughter but I could def try and see. I honestly hadn't even thought maybe he was scared, I sound like a bad mom now! Oh and getting a new bed is out of the question, he's been in a toddler bed since about 15months. He will be getting one once DS2 is in a toddler bed but that won't be for a long while.

ANy tips on doing quite time? If he was to go lay in his room by himself he would end up falling asleep, which is where the problem is coming in because with a nap (like pp said, he needs one!) he won't go to bed til late. Plus theres the factor that he hasn't been laying by himself. I've tried getting him to nap earlier but that's not happened either. Should I just turn on a cute little movie a certain time of day and have him set down on the couch for 'chill out' time?
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Last edited by Sawyers_Mommy; February 21st, 2013 at 12:51 PM.
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  #8  
February 21st, 2013, 01:47 PM
MarlowesMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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First of all, can I just say that I'm amazed that your child will fall asleep on his own at naptime if you just put him in his bed? My kid may do okay at night, but I've spoiled her horribly on naptime. She's accustomed to doing it in MY bed...with me. (Even if I normally sneak out after she falls asleep.) As a result - she won't nap on her own unless she falls asleep in the car on the way home from somewhere and I can slip her into the bed without her waking up...Sigh. I guess the grass IS always greener, right?

I don't really have any tips on quiet time. If Sawyer still needs the nap in order to function well, then have you thought about just cutting down on the actual nap time? I don't know how well that would work with my kiddo, if I wake her up mid-nap she's like the Incredible Hulk. But it's a thought anyway.
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  #9  
February 21st, 2013, 03:56 PM
Sawyers_Mommy's Avatar Cautiously Expecting #2!
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That is one thing I am or WAS lucky on, but the past 2wks or so he hasn't been

Oh yes, he is the same way as your daughter if woken up from a nap! Grouchy, grouchy, grouchy! I think we're just gonna have to play it by ear and see where it goes :/
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