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Never thought about that before, but very interesting. DH and I have discussed how we'd feel if Parker had preferences that are typically feminine and we support ANYTHING he chooses entirely, I just wish the rest of the world would!
My middle boy is a ballet dancer. He is very good honestly. He did his Grade 2 professional ballet exam last year and is looking into auditioning for residential ballet schools.
He gets criticism from all places. People make fun of male dancers daily. They imply he must be gay, and while he friends are supportive (He made up the Hip Hop choero for his classes Christmas concert the past 2 years and teaches some basic routines he makes up to other classes in gym).....I think it will get harder as he gets older.
They tell me I'm turning him gay...and even that its abusive. He is the LEAST feminine boy you can imagine.
Then we have the other side of the coin where the dancers make comments that boys have it easier bc the schools want more boys so they dont have to work as hard as the girls.
Plus, his class just got thier pointe shoes, all the girls got cake, photos done etc. His teacher told him to just stay home bc there was nothing for him to do.
He has been told he is a prop to make the girls look good....even tho he trains just as hard as they do.
Even worse,, my ex has made his opinions about his son doing ballet well known....all negative.
So yes, we experience this daily. So far itt hasnt stopped my son from trying to make this a career.
Mykelti James 01.21.13
Last edited by Briar08; February 24th, 2013 at 02:30 PM.
That was a good article. These are definitely things I think about, having a girl and two boys to raise. We raise our kids without any gender stereotypes. I buy them the same toys and play with them the same ways, etc. My son has dolls and my daughter has trucks. Most of our friends will not let their little boys play with dolls, or even play kitchens! I always want to remind them that most of the world's most famous chefs are men. Now occasionally my son will make a comment about something being "for girls" and I always wonder where he's getting it from, because he's certainly not getting it from us and he's homeschooled so it's not like he's around kids without my supervision all day long. It's frustrating because I know that if he chooses "girly" things, he will be made fun of, and it makes me mad that all these parents are raising kids that are going to be mean to those who are different or don't choose to walk the same path everyone else is walking, but all I can do in the end is try my best to raise my kids to be strong and give them the tools to weather what other people throw their way. We've already had to have lots of discussions on how some people just are not nice and we can't make them be nice, but we sure as heck can find nicer people to spend our time with.
It was a good article and I agree that boys should be aloud to do some of the same things girls do as the same that girls are allowed to do boy things. My DS has a baby doll that he feeds on occasion and plays with but mostly he LOVES his cars and "boy" toys. IMHO though, I think that lady took it a little too far.
One of the reasons that I was hoping for a girl was because it's a lot easier to raise a feminist girl than to raise a feminist boy. And I think she addressed that well, not just because it's tough for a boy to wear a skirt if he wants, but because people don't spend resources addressing character building for boys in the same way they do for girls; boys are expected to be a very particular kind of strong, or they must be gay (as if "gay" is an insult, for criminy's sake).
And that Princess video made me a little queasy. I think all of the values promoted are awesome, but what on bloody earth does any of that have to do with an antiquated title ascribed by birth or marriage? Nothing. Why do they have to be princesses? Why can't they be girls? Isn't that special enough? And if they're girls, and those are their values, then the whole video can go co-ed and the values are universal and ungendered. Ugh.
Oh how I understand this. It's true that girls can wear boys AND girls clothes, have girls and BOY names... etc.. but it's not Ok for the opposite for boys.
For instance my LO's name Vyvian. It's a boy name in England and has been since before it was a girl's name but I have had so many people scold me about it. I'm calling him Utah anyways cause that's his middle name and it's my DH that LOVES the name Vyvian. He thinks it's a rock star artistic name.
I think things will change... I think there aren't too many taboos left and somehow it's popular to break the norms and go against the grain. Hopefully my Vyvian Utah will be ahead of the game!