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Forum: January 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By nursingmama
  • 1 Post By minalyn

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  #1  
March 26th, 2013, 04:39 AM
minalyn's Avatar MOMMY to Evan 1/7/13
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with the husband who is driving her CRAZY??!! I had to be to work today at 3:45am yes AM so DH had to tend to Evan last night, all night was the plan so mama could be rested for her early shift. Well he get's Evan to bed at 8 then passed out on the couch. We both wake up around 11 and he stays up. I mentioned that the bottle needed to be washed so they'd be ready for the morning. Evan wakes up around 1 which wakes me up and I'm like ok DH has it. Well Evan is crying away so I go check. DH is washing the bottles while EVan is in the crib in the boppy with his bottle propped up with a blanket. Really? You can't take the 15-20 minutes to feed him properly because you decide to wash the bottle right before you fall asleep? I ask him daily to stop putting him in that boppy and propping that bottle ESPECIALLY since he know uses medium nipples. The flow is a little faster and we need to keep an eye on him. Then on top of that I wake up late at at 315 to Evan crying and I tell DH he needs to tend to him because I need to get ready. He changes him while I make a small bottle for him and then 15 minutes later as I'm getting ready to walk out the door he's like I'm just going to let him cry I don't know what he wants. !!?? You didn't even hear him crying in the first place what makes you think you'll check on him in a little while? Seriously he's driving me insane. Now all I can think about is my poor baby crying nonstop. All he had to do was take the darn 15-20 minutes to rock him to sleep or whatever but no he thought his sleep trumps Evan's. If the baby doesn't sleep neither do you dude!

He always used the excuse I can't fall asleep. Well after almost 4 1/2 years of hearing that I'M TIRED OF IT. Go to bed earlier (like me) or go get some help! The military won't hold sleep problems against him especially since he works a desk job.

That is all. We may not have the exact same situations but please tell me I'm not the only one??!!
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  #2  
March 26th, 2013, 05:52 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
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You're not the only one! My hubby is pretty good with Lincoln and doesn't let him cry much, but I do think he lets him cry more than I do sometimes. I think if he can't get him to stop crying sometime he might just put him in the swing and let him cry. Letting babies cry is something that really gets to me, so I do worry about it when I'm not here.

And omg, I'm so glad mine isn't the only one propping the bottles. It really scares me! I mean, I've propped a bottle, if I'm right next to Lincoln pumping or something, but he gets choked often still. You have to be RIGHT THERE just in case, and let's face it, guys get distracted and caught up in whatever they're doing and don't pay the same attention to the babies that we mamas do, so yes I totally worry about that when I'm gone. Every time I leave I ask him to please not prop the bottles, but who knows if he listens to me or not.
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  #3  
March 26th, 2013, 09:40 AM
nursingmama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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you are not alone! Overall DH is really good with our boys, especially DS1, and I feel extremely lucky to have him BUT... he does some things that drive me crazy! I think he expected DS2 to behave exactly like DS1 did which is not the case. Felix is a really good baby but he likes to be cuddled and because his reflux is bad he has to be upright pretty much all the time or he gets fussy. We bought a carrier (beco) so that we could hold Felix in an upright position and keep him calm and happy but DH pretty much refuses to wear it. He insists that he cant get anything done with it on which is so annoying because Im tiny (5'1 and 100lbs) and I am able to carry my 13.5lb baby around all day while cleaning the house and caring for our 21 month old. So his excuse is ridiculous. I had to have a long talk with him when I started back at work about how I didnt want to worry that Felix was going to be left in the swing all day fussy and miserable because then I wouldnt be able to get any sleep during the day (I work nights). So what does DH do?? When I get up to go to work the house is a disaster and none of his schoolwork is done because "he couldnt put Felix down or Id wake up" its just so silly and annoying.

When I suggest he takes them to the park while I sleep I get lines like "you dont know how hard it is to take them both out at one time" like what does he think I do all day, everyday when im not at work??? and my all time favorite "do you know how tired I am?" Im pretty sure the look on my face when he says that is priceless. Felix breastfeeds so the 5 nights a week im not working im the one who wakes up with him not DH. I havent gotten more than 3hrs of straight sleep since I peed on a pregnancy test last May so I dont have much sympathy for his exhaustion


man... im glad im not alone lol
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  #4  
March 26th, 2013, 10:54 AM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar Mom to 2 + 3
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Ugh, yes definitely. I have a very different situation than almost anybody I know... my boyfriend and I got pregnant and decided to hold off on moving in with each other right away so that we weren't moving too fast for the wrong reasons. I had been staying overnight at his house most nights of the week when I was pregnant, but everything has changed since having the baby and now I see him about once a week. I expected a LOT more help since we are happy in our relationship, but have gotten virtually none. Anytime I've asked him to watch the baby for my 2nd job (not even for alone time but to make money to raise my child), he hands her off to his parents. He doesn't wake up with her during the night, and I provide all of her care when she is not at daycare. I've asked him to buy diapers or wipes or ANYTHING, and he says he will, but besides 4 outfits, he hasn't bought a thing. He does have other kids, but I still expected a lot more out of him. We are still planning on me moving in with him in June, and I expect it will be much better then, but right now I am continually frustrated with his lack of help.
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  #5  
March 26th, 2013, 01:44 PM
minalyn's Avatar MOMMY to Evan 1/7/13
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DH sent me an "I'm sorry" text while I was at work (can't have my phone in the building). I don't want to come off as a know it all with our son because we're first time parents but cone on... I did learn a few things on my 9 weeks of maternity leave! Thanks for sharing ladies I feel better.
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  #6  
March 27th, 2013, 05:54 AM
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DH only seems to want to hold Julius when he's sleeping. I'll be making dinner and Julius will be on his activity mat and start crying and where's DH sitting in the living room ignoring the screams and I have to be like HELLOOO are you going to console him or do you not want dinner?! He'll pick him up but go back to doing what he was doing and Julius just keeps screaming and then DH puts him down and says I don't know what he wants. That's when I usually internally explode drop what i'm doing grab Juli and start talking to him and he stops crying right away. And also before Julius was born DH always helped me with house work now it almost never happens. If I ask him to fold the laundry he gets all huffy and puffy and does it wrong even though i've showed him 1000 times how to fold the laundry to make it fit and he just throws out ''but you do it better'' and last night he wanted me to bring him candy and I took a piece while handing him the bag and he says when was the last time you weighed yourself..the man is playing with fire..
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  #7  
March 27th, 2013, 01:14 PM
nursingmama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A.Sue8 View Post
I took a piece while handing him the bag and he says when was the last time you weighed yourself..the man is playing with fire..
OMG!!!! DH would only say something like that to me if he had a death wish! I do find that I have to do a lot more of the house work than I did before having kids. I wish he would have told me that I could choose to have him help me either before kids or with kids; trust me i wouldve rather done all the housework when it was just us and had help now that we have kids. Sigh.... Men...
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  #8  
March 27th, 2013, 02:38 PM
minalyn's Avatar MOMMY to Evan 1/7/13
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!! I can't even think of a response. I probably would've stuffed my face at a comment like that!
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  #9  
March 28th, 2013, 09:24 AM
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DH and I constantly have the "letting baby cry" argument. I can't let her cry, not for more than 5 minutes, and so far he doesn't either, but he'll get frustrated and tells her to shut up, which DRIVES ME UP THE WALL. I know she doesn't know what he's saying, but before we know it she will, and "Shut Up" is a disrespectful thing to say and I don't want her saying it either. It's especially annoying because she rarely cries for no good reason, she is almost always consoled by a bottle, change, or by rocking her. He's fine with the bottle or change, but he wont rock her (she wants you to stand up and be in constant motion, so it can be tiring). I hope he develops more patience before she is completely discontent with watching him watch television, as that crap isn't gonna fly much longer!
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  #10  
March 28th, 2013, 09:47 AM
mommysc2's Avatar Mommy to 3 Blessings!
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Here is my complaint about my DH......

he always uses the excuse "I work", when I ask him to feed the baby....however he doesn't complain about changing her diaper...he actually does that on his own......but for some reason he doesn't want to feed her.....and I have no idea why....oh, he does it, like maybe one bottle per day but it's only because I make him
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  #11  
March 29th, 2013, 09:34 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A.Sue8 View Post
and last night he wanted me to bring him candy and I took a piece while handing him the bag and he says when was the last time you weighed yourself..the man is playing with fire..
Omg!!! I would have flipped!!
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  #12  
March 29th, 2013, 10:02 AM
PickyNicki's Avatar Super Mommy
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Ugh. I feel your pain. DH does very little newborn care at our house. I will say that he does get better as they get older, though. At this point he expects Clairre to be content sitting on his lap while he watches tv. Yeah, right. If she cries, he "doesn't know what to do" (hello, you've had 3 other babies!) and likes to use the excuse that he doesn't have boobs. He doesn't change diapers, either, unless I'm gone, but that really doesn't bother me that much. I AM hormonal and tired, though, and I feel like punching him when he complains that we don't spend enough time together (aka DTD)...
Yesterday he came home and I had to change the laundry, so I handed him the baby. He was annoyed that expected him to take her the minute he came in. I was like, I've had her all day plus the other three (spring break!) and am trying to get laundry done for the weekend and cook supper... And he wonders why I'm edgy... ARGH!

Of course, I know from experience that it gets easier and I will like him much more when I am sleeping and Clairre is more independent...
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  #13  
March 29th, 2013, 02:02 PM
WENDYLL22's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Dh has his moments for sure. Where I honestly look at him like he has lost his mind..or give him the evil eye and he straightens up real quick, ha. I can say though that I feel he has much improved from his days with Madison...It's a good thing we all have a motherly instinct to go by. PHEW!
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  #14  
March 29th, 2013, 05:29 PM
Sawyers_Mommy's Avatar Cautiously Expecting #2!
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Honestly DH has been great this time around. I mean there has been a few moments of me being mad at him for not waking up in the middle of the night or claiming he couldn't get DS2 calmed down but those were in the beginning when he did those for the most part. Now we rotate at night if Marshall gets up twice or I'll get up the time in the middle of the night and then DH will get up when he eats about 6am and let me sleep until I want to get up. He helps a ton with DS1 too and I do alot of the work for DS2 but thats ok with me because I'm a bit better at knowing what he needs/wants when he cries.

He's alot better then with DS1. He worked nights so I was alone there and then he slept all day and his days off he didn't know what to do because he worked so much so I was like a single parent lol
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Last edited by Sawyers_Mommy; March 29th, 2013 at 05:33 PM.
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