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Late Night rambling


Forum: January 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By kbpeanut
  • 1 Post By missadie222

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  #1  
March 30th, 2013, 09:41 PM
MammaWannaBe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,601
So I'm awake right now and my kid isn't. Insomina coupled with the fact I napped a lot today, which normally would be awesome, but it's not because i can't care for my kid which sucks.

On Friday I had an outpatient wrist procedure, which was supposed to be super simple. I developed pregnancy induced carpul tunnel and then when I had Vivi I noticed my wrist kept locking up on me and a bump had formed. Went to the ortho dr and he thought it was a cyst that he would just remove in a surgical procedure. So, Friday am I went in for the procedure. They did just some local anesthsia but when I woke up I felt horrendous. Like I had broken my wrist horrible. Then I realized I felt nauseous and threw up for like an hour straight. I couldn't stay awake and it was just a terrible situation. It also turned out it wasn't a cyst, but some sort of growth and they had to scrape bone to get it off, so it was more extensive than previously thought.

I was pretty out of it most of Fri and today I was mostly just in pain. I know this sounds bad, but I was almost looking forward to the surgery as a chance to have someone else take care of the baby, sort of a mini vacay for me to catch up on sleep and crappy tv. I know that's a horrible thing to say but it's the truth. Well that quickly wore off and I was hit with the reality that maybe I am a changed person and not nearly as selfish as I once was because not being able to care for my child is literally killing me. I can't hold her, I can't fix her a bottle, I can barely dress myself let alone her and it is killing me. I literally feel like something is missing because I cannot hold her. I'm just feeling pretty down about it because I don't know what I'm going to do monday if I can't pick her up still, but on the bright side, I think this was a good for me to realize how much I love being a mom and caring for my daughter. I think I am embracing my SAHM position a bit more after this because all I want to do is hold my baby and even change the poopiest diapers!

Sorry for my ramble, I just had to let it out somewhere how I was feeling. It's pretty sucky
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  #2  
March 31st, 2013, 03:11 AM
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My turn to late night ramble back

Sorry about your wrist and that the procedure (and condition) ended up being a bit worse than you thought it would be. But, you've had it fixed and healing will come.

I know it's probably frustrating now, but I'm glad that your time not being able to care for her has helped you see your innermost feelings. It's interesting how different situations can show us how we feel deep inside.

Hope your wrist feels better before long !
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  #3  
March 31st, 2013, 01:02 PM
missadie222's Avatar Go Your Own Way mama2b
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THat sucks! I am sorry your wrist hurts so badly. I also think the universe throws at us the things that will help us see more clearly, especially if we are open to seeing the signs. I hope you can pick your baby up ASAP.

I just got out of 4 nights at the ICU cause my sweet boy has strep pneumonia. After all the ***** I've endured since having this baby I realize that I too am a ghost of my former self. A LOT, LIKE A TON, less selfish.

Best to you Meredith!
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  #4  
March 31st, 2013, 02:16 PM
MammaWannaBe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missadie222 View Post
THat sucks! I am sorry your wrist hurts so badly. I also think the universe throws at us the things that will help us see more clearly, especially if we are open to seeing the signs. I hope you can pick your baby up ASAP.

I just got out of 4 nights at the ICU cause my sweet boy has strep pneumonia. After all the ***** I've endured since having this baby I realize that I too am a ghost of my former self. A LOT, LIKE A TON, less selfish.

Best to you Meredith!
I totally understand where you are coming from and agree. This had definitely made me appreciate motherhood more.

Is Utah ok?! I'm so sorry to hear he's sick. That must have been so scary
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  #5  
March 31st, 2013, 08:02 PM
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I'm sorry about your surgery, hoping you recover quickly with minimal pain. And I totally envy that you get to catch up on crappy TV. I need a good lifetime movie fix.

And I can totally relate to what you are feeling as a mommy. I look forward to the few little breaks I get, but then when I'm out I feel guilty for being away. Or when DH and I get to go out to dinner alone, we find ourselves talking non-stop about our kids. I catch myself thinking, "If only Kylie were here, she would love that!" Ohhh the struggles of a mommy!

Who is watching Vivi? It might help to think of it as a time for daddy to bond with her (or grandma, whoever is caring for her)
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