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Our saga began in January, 2013 with our dear son David being born and immediately admitted to the NICU, during that time I missed being able to hold him as often as I had wished to – little did I know that would not be a problem in a matter of a month.
Since we’ve had our son home, he has become quite a challenge for us; he refuses to sleep if he is not being held/cradled. We have done everything we did while he was still in the NICU. He has been swaddled with a blanket (to encourage the feeling of security), placed in his bassinet. The instant we lay him down, game on! His eyes pop open and he’ll begin to fuss and cry. Obviously that has posed quite a challenge for us to get sleep at all these days. David has a MamaRoo (Meet the 4moms mamaRoo - YouTube), when I placed him in it after he had fallen asleep, it was not but about 5 minutes and he was awake and screaming in fear…he didn’t know where I had gone. This has become a routine over the last 3 months. Each and every time we attempt to put him in his bed, he cries in fear. In order for my husband and I to get any sleep at all, we have resorted to putting him in his car seat/carrier and placing him in the bed between us. This is the ONLY way we are able to obtain even a moments sleep.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar? We’ve been trying diligently to make sure he doesn’t become ‘spoiled’ by being held too much, but yet he won’t allow us to put him down for any length of time before he begins to experience separation anxiety. So…am I the only one? Are there other mother’s out there who are enduring the same? If so, how do you cope? Any techniques you’ve found to be effective?
We have the same problem during the day but luckily he sleeps in his rock n play at night. I wouldn't say Max is a clingy baby, he just likes to be held and cuddled. The moment I try to put him down for a nap hes wide awake.
Funny thing though - he naps in the crib at daycare.
My daughter was sooooo clingy, omg. I never went anywhere without her being within arm's reach for the first several months of her life. I got to where I would just put her in her carseat/stroller and stroll her around the house with me when my arms got tired.
Lincoln also really likes to be held and cuddled. He sleeps in a snuggle nest between me and hubby in our bed. He still wakes up several times a night to eat, and the last time he wakes up, usually around 5:30am, he won't go back to sleep until I pick him up and cuddle him in my arm and we both go back to sleep that way for an hour or so.
I think it's natural for babies to want to be held, but I know it can be tiring! I personally don't subscribe to the belief that babies can be spoiled, so I hold him as much as he wants. I can tell you from experience that this part of their lives will be over before you know it; my SUPER CLINGY daughter is now a vibrant and extremely confident 4 year old. She is still very very attached to me, but of course I wouldn't change that for the world
Sometimes I've found it can help to make a snuggly nest for the baby to sleep in, and push a blanket up under his legs so he feels like he's being held/cuddled, and I'll lie down next to him and kiss him or stroke his forehead until he's asleep. I don't know if it really helps him learn to sleep without me because he still needs my help in falling asleep, but at least I can get up once he's out and get some things done. He also loves to sleep in his swing, and if all else fails we strap him into his carseat and go out for a walk (it's warm here) and he will conk out.
We used to have this problem too, but when she was younger. I finally got her sleeping all night (I counted 5-6 hours all night at that point! Now we're up to 6-9, depending on the day) around 5 1/2 weeks.
The second thing I did, since I realized we both slept better when she was near me, is buy a Summer Rest Assured Sleeper http://www.toysrus.com/product/index....2768961&green It fits in the bed between DF and I. If she fusses I can roll over and soother her, it has the vibration feature which she likes, plus she's close so I can check on her without leaving my bed. We all get sleep this way. DF keeps asking me when we'll get our bed back, but I"m not ready yet... I'm trying to hold out another month since SIDS risk is lower after 4 months. I'd like to wait until 6 months, when it's drastically lower, but I know I won't be able to hold out that long.
I hope you find something that helps you. When Lauryn went through the phase where she wouldn't even nap, I got a Moby and it was a God send.
oh my yes! Felix loves to be held and snuggled. I cant put him down for more than 5 minutes without him crying. It is a pretty big challenge for us because I have a 22 month old at home also. I dont think babies can be spoiled at this age so I carry him in the beco carrier when I need to get stuff done and cosleep at night. He is attached to either me or DH pretty much 24/7. The hardest part for me was figuring out how to make sure DS1 got the attention and snuggles he needed. I didnt want him to feel jealous that I was always holding Felix. Thankfully he is pretty independent.
First of all cute tub pic! I wouldn't call Evan clingy but DH said something like I'm tired of you being able to calm him and I can't. DH doesn't talk to Evan like I do. I talk to him no matter what I'm doing. Plus I carried him so he knows my voice.
We have had periods of this but overall he is ok being put down. I think we sort of approximated him out of his fears over the weeks though. Leaving him for shirt periods of time, and gradually more and more. If he's awake he still doesn't like to be left alone for long though.
Shelby goes through periods of this mostly during the day. She still likes being swaddled and if I put her down she has to have me within eye sight and hear me. In the evenings she will get to a point where that doesnt work and I just need to put her to bed. She is 100% a tummy sleeper. We let her sleep on her tummy during the day (she is in the packnplay next to my desk) and at night DH will turn her to her side before he goes to bed (1am ish). Right now we are getting between 6-9 hours of sleep most nights.
Babies can't be spoiled at this age, so no need to worry about that.
My son was similar, he very much preferred to be held while sleeping, and would often wake as soon as we put him down and start crying. We would sometimes have to hold him until he went into a very deep sleep before trying to put him down.And he was swaddled until he could break out of even the best and tighted swaddle, probably about 5 months? So we held him a lot, and just kept trying to get him to sleep on his own. He is now 26 months old and sleeps wonderfully.
and yes, I was a zombie and just going through the motions often for the first 6 or so months of his life. I'm sure I was a joy to work with.
~Kasi~ Mommy to Sean Elliot and Taylor Joelle!