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  #61  
September 17th, 2012, 02:58 PM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Glad you checked in! Sorry to hear you've been having a rough go of it lately. Keep resting best you can! x
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  #62  
October 4th, 2012, 11:16 AM
colette20's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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checking in. Ive had a ton of things going on in my personal life, and have been insanely sick... I feel like I dont do anything anymore, I just lay in bed and get sick....

Just wanted to check in.... still alive
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  #63  
October 4th, 2012, 11:34 AM
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I'm sorry you are so sick. Thanks for checking in, though. I hope you feel better!
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  #64  
October 19th, 2012, 11:47 PM
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checking in again. swear Ill update soon... Life is crazy right now :/
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  #65  
October 20th, 2012, 08:05 AM
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I've been checking for an update. Hope you're managing.
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  #66  
October 21st, 2012, 04:56 PM
colette20's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ok, so short update, I am just exhausted today. Well, I am always tired these days, lol.

I have been struggling with lots of personal issues. My aunt was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and developed a massive infection after her hysterectomy, she was given hours to live. Somehow she pulled through... and is still struggling with the ongoing effects. My mom cannot handle any stress, and has been a total mess, she calls me and says things I dont find appropriate to say to your own child.. and flies off the handle at any given time. Its been difficult to deal with. Most days I receive phone calls that leave me in tears. Its a lot to handle.

Things at home are awful. Tom and I dont talk, and when we do, we argue. He spends most nights gone. He makes a point to say it isnt off with women (I think to make me feel better somehow... like it matters) but I know he is. He leaves receipts around he has to know I see... for high heels, and such things.

While these things are sources of stress, my main concern now is holding baby in. I have had issues with contractions and have had to have mag bags in the hospital a few times.

Earlier this week I had some light bleeding (blood was red) and I called the nurse line, while on hold, I stood up, and was sure I had wet my pants. I told the nurse this and she asked me to make sure it was urine (gross, I know) and I told her it didnt appear to be. She had me go in right away. Turns out, it was amniotic fluid... I was in panic. The doctors were great, and calmed me down. I received antiobiotics and steriods. I was there for 36 hours, and things looked pretty good. They assured me that many moms go on to have have healthy babies, and most make it full term... But, I am still of course very scared. I am on bed rest now, allowed to take short excursions if need be, but I am pretty cautious. I just want him to stay in there as long as he can!!

On the bright side, he is actually a little chunkier than he should be at this point, and is measuring a little big, so he's getting what he needs. I am still 10 pounds under my pre pregnancy weight, but he's growing well.

Through this, the ex has actually been my saving grace. He has been so supportive and has gone out of his way to help when he can. He was by my side at the hospital, the entire time. My mom didnt even come see me. He is actually trying to be better, its really really surprising, but I am grateful.

So there is my mini update.... Im still here, lurking slightly when I can

Miss you guys!!!
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Last edited by colette20; October 21st, 2012 at 05:19 PM.
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  #67  
October 23rd, 2012, 10:44 AM
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Yikes! I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this right now. But I am glad that you do have some support, even if it is with the ex. Hang in there!
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  #68  
October 25th, 2012, 09:40 PM
missadie222's Avatar Go Your Own Way mama2b
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Hi there,

It's nice to hear from you. I am glad that your ex is at least hanging in there for you! I hope you make it full term, sounds like there's a pretty good chance you will!

Good luck with your mom and aunt and stuff. I know what it feels like to have your own mom telling you things that seem way inappropriate!

Keep us updated!

Adrienne
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  #69  
November 6th, 2012, 07:55 PM
colette20's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Checking in.

I was hospitalized for another T.I.A (mini stroke). I had a horrid experience as a nurse gave me fentanyl without permission.... Currently filing a complaint with the hospital over it. For those not familiar, its a powerful pain killer, often given in patch form to cancer patients. It is a category c med as well. I was in the MRI and the nurse came in gave me the med in my IV, said "I gave you something for pain" and walked away. (I had been in HORRIBLE pain, to the point of tears) After I was brought back the doctor asked if the fentanyl worked and I freaked out. I cant believe it was ordered, and am SO LIVID it was given to me without permission. After I made a stink about it, I started receiving my care with a big side of attitude. I was pissed. I was treated like crap until I was ok, and demanded to go home.

This WAS the hospital where I was supposed to deliver, but am now changing hospitals.

I saw my Doc the next day, and she too is talking to the hospital about what happened. The baby is ok, but I still get upset thinking about it. Experiencing a TIA is hard enough, while pregnant is so so scary, and being treated like crap during that time just isnt right....

I am now just short of full bed rest. I am in constant pain (we found out my body doesnt produce enough of the hormone to relax my round ligaments so instead of stretching, they are ripping apart....which is quite fun) and am quite fatigued.

In the midst of all this, I need to move. No idea how the heck Im supposed to pack and sort... but I have to get it done.

I dont feel safe here with Tom and certainly dont want my child here. SO as much as I cant stand the idea, I am moving in with my parents for a few months. I will have the basement to myself, so it wont be so bad I suppose... At least I am safe there and know I will be taken care of. (At this point I cant even stand to cook, so if it doesnt go in the oven or microwave, I cant eat it)

My mom is only allowing me to bring one cat however and I had to practically beg for that. The ex is talking to his parents, hoping to be able to take the baby kitty in until I move out of my parents. The ex knows I love my cats and he loves the boys too, and doesnt want to see me have to give up Shelly due to a temporary situation. So hopefully that works out....

We hope to get things moved within a few weeks, before snow hits us here in Minnesnowta, and as much as my mother is killing me right now, and I hate the idea of moving back, it will be nice to have true bed rest (Im alone 98% of my awake time and have to do a lot Im not supposed to). My dad wants so badly to have me there so I can be taken care of.

Im ready to just get the move done, and relax until this baby comes. This pregnancy has been so chaotic, I am ready to just prepare for this baby and have him here.

And just so I am not whining, there is silver lining, the EX and I have the final two names!! We're torn, and have decided to just see what the bubby looks like before we decide I'm so glad to have that done..... We havent told anyone in our lives the names, we feel like with the chaos of the pregnancy and everyone soooo in our business we want to keep it to ourselves But Im excited to have the names down to two!!
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  #70  
November 6th, 2012, 08:19 PM
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Wow. Once again, I am sorry you are having such a chaotic pregnancy. I would be FURIOUS at the hospital. I know lots about fentanyl...one of my dogs was on it (first patch, later oral) for some time due to back surgeries...and I have also done papers on it for my wildlife rehab program in school. You just don't mess around with that. I'm glad you are going to file a complaint and also that your doctor is talking to the hospital too. What a mess, but I am glad you and baby are ok.

I'm also glad you made the decision to move back with your folks for a bit. I think you will feel better there, and it will allow you to get the rest you need. I hope you can figure out something with the kitty

Congrats on narrowing it down to two names!

Be well, check in when you can!
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  #71  
November 11th, 2012, 07:13 PM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar Mom to 2 + 3
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Wow I just read through the last few updates; it seems I've missed a bit. Sorry to hear you've had such a wild ride with this pregnancy. The weather seems to have winterized around here (I am a bit east in Wisconsin), so I hope if you move that it goes well! I agree with the others that it seems like it would be so helpful for you to move back in with your parents. Good luck and hopefully baby stays put for a bit!
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  #72  
December 5th, 2012, 09:47 PM
colette20's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, checking in briefly. Things are still a bit crazy, my sister is struggling to cope, and not doing well. She and Ben were together 8 years, and never spent more than 36 hours apart. They were ALWAYS together. She is struggling to adapt, Ben did everything for her, she has no idea how to handle a bank account, pay a bill, or most things like that, he did EVERYTHING so she didnt have to. She's getting a crash course in adulthood on top of losing her soulmate.

Ben is buried only 500 yards or so from my parents front door, so she makes a trek to his grave daily. She redecorates it every day.

Ben was not just a brother in law/ son in law. He was very much apart of our family. My mom moved him into the house when he was 17 because his parents have addictions and he needed some direction. He got his G.E.D and started his job right away (The only job he ever had, had been there 6 years). He really turned into a good man. He was always so willing to help, given any chance, he would help anyone, even people he barely knew. Everything in his life got 100% of his energy, he never did anything halfway. He became a father at 20, and worked hard to provide for his family. He asked the nurses at the hospital a million questions, because he wanted to do everything right for my nephew. He was jealous when my sister breast fed, because he WANTED to get up in the middle of the night for feedings (He did anyway, so my sister didnt feel alone). He changed every diaper he could, and loved spending time with my nephew. I dont know many 20 year old men like that...

There is a void in our life. A HUGE void.

He was sooooo looking forward to being "Uncle Ben" and I am so saddened that my baby has a guardian angel instead of an uncle here... Its hard to get excited when I know we'll be one short in the family ....
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Last edited by colette20; December 5th, 2012 at 10:09 PM.
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  #73  
December 5th, 2012, 10:01 PM
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Thanks for sharing more about Ben. Sounds like he was a wonderful man, and I'm very sorry for your families loss. But, your LO will have a great angel keeping watch....
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  #74  
December 28th, 2012, 09:48 PM
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How are you doing?
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  #75  
December 31st, 2012, 02:13 PM
colette20's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ive been meaning to come update, but just sit and cry instead, lol.

I am MISERABLE. I am pretty confident I am having a dysfunctional labor and cant get anyone to listen to me except J. My Doctor was out this last appointment due to the holiday and the fill in treated me like a cry baby.

I actually have a few chronic problems that come with a lot of pain, so my tolerance is quite high. So, for me to complain, its a big deal. J knows this and is worried no one is listening.

I always advocate to my patients that THEY know their bodies best and THEY will be the ones to know when something isnt right, and they need to speak up when they feel that way. Well, it does no good when it falls on deaf ears. I have been having HARD contractions for about a week (stop you in your tracks, you cant speak, contractions.) and they will get as close as 12 minutes apart. But, then they will stop progressing and become irregular again. If one more person tells me they're braxton hicks, Im going to punch them in the nose. These are the real deal. We were able to catch a few on the monitor and they are well over a minute in length and curving like a "real" contraction. These are no braxton hicks.

I have had to have multiple d&c's in the past, as my body doesn't rid itself of tissue effectively during my periods (sorry, TMI here) and I know that I do not dilate and cervidil and other drugs don't help. I always have to be manually dilated by the doctor, and have been worried this entire pregnancy about my body not dilating, and being in prolonged labor. I NEVER imagined I would be contracting so hard for a week and a half... I really feel like my body is trying so hard to begin labor and just cant. I have had multiple d&c's as I said, as well as other uterine surgeries. I am legit worried my uterus just isnt strong enough to do what it has to do, and now after a week and a half of this, it's even weaker yet.

I tell this to the doc who filled in for the holiday and he was like "Oh, you're a nurse right?" - basically saying you think you know whats going on but I'M a doctor and a million times smarter. (He just had that heir about him too, I could just tell he was a holier than thou doc) and said the famous line .... "Babies come when they want to come." Ummm, not always, thats why we have c-sections and inductions a**wipe.

I have all the signs of early labor and am praying praying praying my membranes rupture so I can finally get into the hospital and they HAVE to take me seriously. I feel like no one understands that I am having serious issues here. My body can't possibly keep this up. I am so worn down. My SPD is soooo bad, if I sit or lay for more than half an hour, I am in SEVERE pain when I stand up. Peeing in the middle of the night is a nightmare. Last night I seriously debated crawling to the bathroom because the pain was that intense. I am so glad its only 9 feet away or I would seriously camp out next to the bathroom.

Physically and emotionally I have had it. I am sleep deprived, in pain, and pissed no one will listen to me. Everyone treats me like another whiney preggo just ready to have their baby. People have actually told me to buck up, and some rolled their eyes at me.... I feel SO unsupported. All I have is J. My parents are treating me like a whiner too.... I spent Christmas day alone because they were being rude. We usually open gifts from each other the night of the 24th and santa comes overnight... the 24th was low key and quiet, it was hard not having Ben with us. That night I had a lot of contractions, couldnt sleep and was up all night... I went to my parents early to be there when my nephew woke up. He opened his presents and we played a bit, and my mom made an egg bake. I cant stand egg bake, so I rooted around for something I could eat, I was starving at this point. There wasnt much there and I mentioned maybe running for donuts... both parents started telling me how picky I am and how I sit and complain all the time, and Im this and that.... so I was like screw this, and went home. They acted like I was being a brat by doing that and so I left and cried all the way home. They have never understood me and say these sorts of things all the time, but to hear it on Christmas, 9 months pregnant, sleep deprived and starving, I couldnt handle it. So I went home and had chili dogs for my christmas and did some laundry.

I am just a hot mess and a half these days... I am trying SO hard to just keep it together and get through this. I know at the most they can only make me wait another two weeks to go in and take him, but I cannot imagine two more weeks of this....I just cant.

Hope you ladies are doing well
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  #76  
January 2nd, 2013, 08:58 AM
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I am so sorry you have to deal with this hon. I'll be sending all kinds of good thoughts your way that you go on your own very soon!
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  #77  
January 13th, 2013, 05:50 PM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar Mom to 2 + 3
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Hooray! Baby is here!
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  #78  
January 14th, 2013, 10:09 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Welcome!
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  #79  
February 7th, 2013, 08:13 PM
colette20's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Checking in... I am sans internet right now and my life is so crazy I never get a chance to check in on my phone... I miss you all! I have sooooo much I need to talk and vent about :-/ Hope you all are doing well :-)
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  #80  
October 21st, 2013, 08:03 PM
missadie222's Avatar Go Your Own Way mama2b
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Was your boy born on the 13th? That's my dad's birthday. My boy was born on the 10th. Or was your guy on the 11th?

Anyhoo, hi! I hope you are doing well. Wowzers. Having a child is no joke! How's your boy? Mine's great, but the first 6 months I had a seriously rough time. Got diagnosed with PTSD thanks to a horrible horrible birth injury....

How are YOU?
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